DEAR ABBY: I have been married for almost five years, and my husband and I recently decided to try to have a baby. I am really excited about the possibility of being a mom. My problem is, my parents and his parents don't want to be grandparents.

I will be 30 this year, and they keep telling me I should wait until I'm 40 to have kids. I have endometriosis, and I know if I wait too long it will be even harder to get pregnant.

On top of all the pressure our families are putting me under, I just found out my sister has been married almost a year and hasn't told anyone. I don't want to disappoint our families or force something on them they are not ready for. I'm not sure what to do now. I want my husband and me to be happy. Any advice would be appreciated. -- STRESSED OUT IN OHIO

DEAR STRESSED: I know you want to be a good daughter, but you are allowing your parents (and in-laws) to weigh in on a decision that should be yours and your husband's alone. Your reason for not wanting to postpone motherhood makes sense.

Understand that not everyone wants to be a grandparent and be glad you're finding out upfront that the parents will not be baby-sitting. Many disappointed readers have written me after the fact to express their dismay when they realized it. Take from this the lesson that you must live your own life.

And, by the way, so should your sister. If there are consequences from her elopement, she should experience them. But under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be dragged into her drama.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband I love deeply and can't imagine my life without. We have a beautiful marriage. We never fight or really even argue.

We have been together for 11 years and only during the last couple of years has he started doing something that troubles me. In the afternoon or evening, if I need to go to the store -- or anywhere for that matter -- he gets upset and gives me the silent treatment and doesn't want me to go.

I trust him and let him do whatever he wants. I have never given him a reason to not trust me, so why does it make him so angry if I need to run to the store? I feel I deserve the same respect and trust that I show him. How do I make him see how much it hurts me for him to act like this? -- FEELING MISTRUSTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FEELING MISTRUSTED: What you are describing is a red flag that if ignored could ruin your beautiful marriage. Your husband's insecurity and need to control you may stem from the fact that he has been hiding something from you. Tell him that you love him, but for the sake of your marriage, the two of you should go to couples counseling.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jimmy," is 8. His father and I are divorced, and he is facing jail time. Jimmy sees him every other weekend. I'm planning on telling Jimmy the truth, although I'm sure his dad will want me to lie and say he needs to "work out of town" for a while, or something like that.

I know it will be hard for my boy to deal with. I also wonder what he should tell other people. I worry that if he tells his friends the truth (and they tell their parents), Jimmy might not be invited over to play quite as often, or kids will tease him. But I feel like it's sending a mixed message if I tell him it's OK to lie about this particular issue. How should I handle this? -- TO TELL THE TRUTH

DEAR TRUTH: Jimmy needs to know that his mother tells the truth. If you lie to him about this, or anything else for that matter, when he learns the truth -- as he will eventually -- he will start to question the veracity of everything you have told him. This is a lot for an 8-year-old to deal with, I know, but I vote for keeping the boy informed.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. I think I'm being too clingy, but he won't tell me if I am. He says when I ask for reassurance, it drives him away.

Every time we do anything remotely sexual, he tells me he feels guilty about it. He is sweet and caring. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have never been so in love. I don't want to lose him. What should I do? -- IN LOVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN LOVE: This may seem counterintuitive, but take a step back. Stop asking for reassurance. Because he says he feels guilty about doing anything remotely sexual, the next time he makes a move, be less willing. Tell him you don't want him to do anything that he will be sorry about later, and remind him what he said the last time. It may improve your relationship because, from your description, he appears to be immature and not ready for a romance.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is very ill and is preparing for the end. I feel bad for my spouse -- this will be a great loss. However, my mother-in-law and I have never been close. She has been very negative about me, mostly behind my back. I have tolerated her and complained only to my spouse.

When the end comes, I know many people will express sympathy for "my loss." I won't be feeling remorse, but a sense of relief. Is there a kind way of stating that it is not a sad time for me because of our strained relationship? -- THE END IS NEAR

DEAR END: Much as you might like to express those feelings publicly, I don't advise it. It would be inappropriate and reflect badly on you. If someone offers condolences, say, "Thank you, how kind of you," and keep the rest to yourself. If you do otherwise, you will be validating every bad thing that woman said behind your back.

DEAR ABBY: My stepmother had a recipe for meatloaf that she found in your column years ago. She made it for us often when we visited and we all loved it. However, we have been unable to locate that recipe anywhere and don't remember how to make it. Could you reprint the recipe for me? We've been trying others, but yours is the best. -- JENNA IN JACKSONVILLE, FLA.

DEAR JENNA: I'm pleased to share that recipe once again. I have made it and we love it, too. Now that you have mentioned it, when I go to the market later, I'll pick up the ingredients and make it for dinner tonight. The leftovers make wonderful sandwiches! This recipe is part of my cookbooklet set, which has recipes for appetizers, soups, salads, vegetable side dishes, main courses and delicious desserts. The set can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. By the way, the cookbooklet set also contains a tasty recipe for turkey meatloaf for those who have sworn off red meat, which clearly I haven't.

MEATLOAF

2 lbs. ground beef

1 cup seasoned Italian bread crumbs

1/2 cup finely chopped onion

1/3 cup ketchup

1/3 cup water

1 teaspoon garlic powder

2 eggs

Pepper to taste

Salt, if desired

4 strips bacon, if desired

Heat oven to 350 F.

In large bowl, combine all ingredients except bacon. Shape into a loaf; place in 9-by-5-inch pan. Arrange bacon strips on top of meat mixture, if desired. Bake for 60 minutes. Serves 6 to 8.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Brian" for five months. We are very compatible and have discussed spending the rest of our lives together. He is 54; I am 59.

The deal breaker for me is his "daughter" ("Allison"), who is actually the daughter of a friend of his. Allison and Brian's two grown sons grew up together. She's 24.

Allison no longer hangs out, talks with or visits Brian's sons, but she is close to Brian. She has no girlfriends, no male friends and she's estranged from her parents. Brian helps her with school projects, they go to lunch, walk on the beach, text/talk on the phone, go on bike rides, go hiking, etc. He tells me he's a father figure to her.

I have met Allison and I think her behavior is a little too flirtatious for a daughter/father relationship. She also made a couple of inappropriate comments to me during our first meeting. When I mention to Brian that I don't think it's a healthy "friendship," he becomes defensive. Should I bow out now and cut my losses, get to know Allison better, or tell Brian it's me or her? -- THIRD WHEEL OUT WEST

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Brian seems like a nice, caring person. You have known him for only five months. I vote for standing pat a while longer and making an effort to befriend Allison. If she's truly as alone as you describe, she could use an older, more-experienced woman in her life. You might even find you like her rather than feel threatened by her. However, if that's not feasible, you can always cut your losses and run, but not right now.