DEAR ABBY: When I was in my 20s I chose a career whose long-term effects I hadn't anticipated. I am charged with telling people they are dying and watching them die on a daily basis. While I know I am good at it, it leaves me emotionally drained.

I manage to muster up enough energy to try to be there for my kids but, frankly, I can't seem to be there for anyone else, including my wife, co-workers and close family. My problem is, this has left me with no emotional support (my children are too young for that, although playing with them is some help) and there are tough days when I really need it. Advice? -- ALONE FROM MY WORK

DEAR ALONE: You need a support group. Many people in the medical field find them to be a helpful outlet. Rather than blame yourself for your inability to "be there" for your co-workers and family members, joining a group might help you to relieve some of the stress you are experiencing by talking about it. If you do, I'm sure you will find you are far from alone. If there isn't a support group already there for you, please consider starting one, because airing those emotions you haven't been able to share would be extremely helpful.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a guy for two years. He has his late mom's wedding rings. He always said he would use them if he ever proposed to anyone.

Well, he proposed to me last week. Last night he informed me that he had let his ex-girlfriend of 10 years wear the rings because she loved jewelry. It made me sick to my stomach, and made his proposal not mean anything to me.

I told him it would be like me giving him my ex-husband's wedding band to wear. He doesn't understand because he didn't use them to propose to her, but to me that's beside the point. They were on her hand.

I told him he should have given me the option of wearing the rings or having him buy my own set. He thinks I'm just supposed to be OK with this. Am I out of line feeling the way I do? -- TARNISHED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TARNISHED: I don't think so. To say this "guy" lacks sensitivity would be an understatement. Are you sure you actually want to spend the rest of your life with someone so clueless?

When he allowed his former girlfriend to wear his mother's wedding rings "because she loved jewelry" rather than because they were planning to marry, the symbolism of bestowing them vaporized. If you do plan to go through with it, "suggest" he buy you ones or use the stones from his mother's rings in a different setting for a ring you will enjoy wearing rather than feeling like Secondhand Rose (third-hand, actually).

DEAR ABBY: My son is graduating this year. To celebrate, I would like to have dinner at a restaurant with a group of friends (adults) and their children. However, I'd like them to pay for their own meals. How do I address an invitation to such a get-together? -- NOT A FREE DINNER

DEAR NOT A FREE DINNER: You could put on the invitation that this will be a "no host" celebration. Or, rather than issue a formal written invitation, simply call your friends and describe what you have in mind.

DEAR ABBY: We have some great friends we have known for five years. Our families enjoy time together, and although the friendship started through our kids, I now get together with the other mom outside of kid-related activities. Her son, "Michael," and my daughter (ages 12) are best friends in middle school, and I truly care for him, as well as his family.

I have assumed for a long time that Michael is gay. Since late last year, he's been having a lot of trouble with a certain group of boys who call him gay -- among other names -- and bully him.

His mom knows he is different, but his dad is deep in denial, doing his best to force his son to associate with this group of kids because they are "jocks" and popular. Michael hangs out with and is most comfortable with girls. It has always been this way, in spite of his parents' attempts to find him a boy group to fit into.

The bullying is escalating and, while his dad remains in denial, his mom is telling Michael to ignore it and not draw attention to himself for fear it may get worse. She thinks "he tends to bring these things on himself by hanging out with girls and liking the things he likes."

I'm scared for the boy. He is the always-smiling, happy-go-lucky kid on the outside, but there's no way he can be feeling that way on the inside being on the receiving end of this kind of abuse every day. I have encouraged his mom to talk to school authorities, but she refuses. We have never spoken directly about the possibility that Michael may be gay because I can feel the fear and denial in what she isn't saying. What can I do? -- HIS B.F.F.'S MOM

DEAR MOM: It is tragic that Michael's parents can't accept their son for who he is, rather than who they would like him to be. That's why it is absolutely vital that you befriend that boy to the best of your ability.

Contact PFLAG (pflag.org) and request information about how to support a young person who is more than likely LGBT. Let the boy know you love him just the way he is and that being different isn't wrong. If you do, it could mean the difference between life and death -- and that's no exaggeration.

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful, loving, respectful man I have known for seven months. But when he drinks too much, he starts saying I should meet someone else because he's not good enough for me. It's like he's trying to drive me away.

Do you think this is how he really feels? He says if I want to leave, he'll understand, because I deserve someone better. What should I do? -- ENGAGED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ENGAGED: Talk to your fiance about this when he's sober. Realize that your wonderful, loving, respectful gentleman may have a drinking problem, so be prepared in advance by visiting an Al-Anon group.

It should be plain to you that he has self-esteem issues that could have a negative impact on your relationship if they aren't dealt with. So make your engagement a long one to be sure he's willing and able to do that.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has a death wish. She recently lost her youngest child to suicide. She's in a lot of pain and rarely has a good day. She suffers from PTSD and relives the scene daily in her mind.

She's a hard worker, so that helps to keep her mind off things. She lives in an empty house with nothing there but farm animals, which she says do help to make her happy.

Abby, I'm worried because she does things that put her in danger, like staying at her son's grave alone at night for hours. She told me recently she's planning to go out of state to visit her other son and then spend six days by herself camping and hiking. She also goes jogging alone late at night and leaves her doors unlocked.

It seems she just doesn't care about what may happen. She says don't worry, but I'm terrified that one day something will happen. She's not someone who would put up a fight.

We're recently engaged and I care deeply about her and her safety, but I'm helpless to say anything because she just gets mad. I don't know what to do. Can you maybe help me? -- VERY CONCERNED FIANCE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FIANCE: Your fiancee is in the throes of grief. If she is the person who discovered her son's body, she may be numb with shock and not thinking clearly.

It is not unusual for people who have lost a loved one -- particularly a child -- to wonder if life is still worth living and to engage either consciously or subconsciously in risk-taking behavior. A licensed psychotherapist or a suicide support group could help her to recognize what she's doing and to get through this. Seeing others who have experienced what she has and who are further along in the grieving process would be helpful.

If she's resistant to the idea, offer to go with her. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org) can help you find resources in your state.

DEAR ABBY: The husbands of both my two daughters asked for my blessing prior to asking my girls to marry them. I felt what they did was respectful and it was very much appreciated. My wife felt the same way when I relayed the good news to her.

I believe this courtesy replaced what in the "olden days" was a request for permission from the father rather than a blessing and, in my opinion, is more appropriate. If I am correct in my assumption that "permission" has evolved to "blessing," I wonder if it would have been more appropriate for them to have asked my wife and me together for our blessing. Your thoughts? -- PROUD PAPA

DEAR PROUD PAPA: Men asked permission of fathers to marry their daughters in "olden days" because the daughters were considered property. They could not marry without their father's consent. Thankfully, those customs are long gone -- in western society, at least. Please stop second-guessing your sons-in-law, who both seem like gems to me. Many couples today forgo the courtesy altogether.