DEAR ABBY: We have some great friends we have known for five years. Our families enjoy time together, and although the friendship started through our kids, I now get together with the other mom outside of kid-related activities. Her son, "Michael," and my daughter (ages 12) are best friends in middle school, and I truly care for him, as well as his family.

I have assumed for a long time that Michael is gay. Since late last year, he's been having a lot of trouble with a certain group of boys who call him gay -- among other names -- and bully him.

His mom knows he is different, but his dad is deep in denial, doing his best to force his son to associate with this group of kids because they are "jocks" and popular. Michael hangs out with and is most comfortable with girls. It has always been this way, in spite of his parents' attempts to find him a boy group to fit into.

The bullying is escalating and, while his dad remains in denial, his mom is telling Michael to ignore it and not draw attention to himself for fear it may get worse. She thinks "he tends to bring these things on himself by hanging out with girls and liking the things he likes."

I'm scared for the boy. He is the always-smiling, happy-go-lucky kid on the outside, but there's no way he can be feeling that way on the inside being on the receiving end of this kind of abuse every day. I have encouraged his mom to talk to school authorities, but she refuses. We have never spoken directly about the possibility that Michael may be gay because I can feel the fear and denial in what she isn't saying. What can I do? -- HIS B.F.F.'S MOM

DEAR MOM: It is tragic that Michael's parents can't accept their son for who he is, rather than who they would like him to be. That's why it is absolutely vital that you befriend that boy to the best of your ability.

Contact PFLAG (pflag.org) and request information about how to support a young person who is more than likely LGBT. Let the boy know you love him just the way he is and that being different isn't wrong. If you do, it could mean the difference between life and death -- and that's no exaggeration.

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful, loving, respectful man I have known for seven months. But when he drinks too much, he starts saying I should meet someone else because he's not good enough for me. It's like he's trying to drive me away.

Do you think this is how he really feels? He says if I want to leave, he'll understand, because I deserve someone better. What should I do? -- ENGAGED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ENGAGED: Talk to your fiance about this when he's sober. Realize that your wonderful, loving, respectful gentleman may have a drinking problem, so be prepared in advance by visiting an Al-Anon group.

It should be plain to you that he has self-esteem issues that could have a negative impact on your relationship if they aren't dealt with. So make your engagement a long one to be sure he's willing and able to do that.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has a death wish. She recently lost her youngest child to suicide. She's in a lot of pain and rarely has a good day. She suffers from PTSD and relives the scene daily in her mind.

She's a hard worker, so that helps to keep her mind off things. She lives in an empty house with nothing there but farm animals, which she says do help to make her happy.

Abby, I'm worried because she does things that put her in danger, like staying at her son's grave alone at night for hours. She told me recently she's planning to go out of state to visit her other son and then spend six days by herself camping and hiking. She also goes jogging alone late at night and leaves her doors unlocked.

It seems she just doesn't care about what may happen. She says don't worry, but I'm terrified that one day something will happen. She's not someone who would put up a fight.

We're recently engaged and I care deeply about her and her safety, but I'm helpless to say anything because she just gets mad. I don't know what to do. Can you maybe help me? -- VERY CONCERNED FIANCE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FIANCE: Your fiancee is in the throes of grief. If she is the person who discovered her son's body, she may be numb with shock and not thinking clearly.

It is not unusual for people who have lost a loved one -- particularly a child -- to wonder if life is still worth living and to engage either consciously or subconsciously in risk-taking behavior. A licensed psychotherapist or a suicide support group could help her to recognize what she's doing and to get through this. Seeing others who have experienced what she has and who are further along in the grieving process would be helpful.

If she's resistant to the idea, offer to go with her. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org) can help you find resources in your state.

DEAR ABBY: The husbands of both my two daughters asked for my blessing prior to asking my girls to marry them. I felt what they did was respectful and it was very much appreciated. My wife felt the same way when I relayed the good news to her.

I believe this courtesy replaced what in the "olden days" was a request for permission from the father rather than a blessing and, in my opinion, is more appropriate. If I am correct in my assumption that "permission" has evolved to "blessing," I wonder if it would have been more appropriate for them to have asked my wife and me together for our blessing. Your thoughts? -- PROUD PAPA

DEAR PROUD PAPA: Men asked permission of fathers to marry their daughters in "olden days" because the daughters were considered property. They could not marry without their father's consent. Thankfully, those customs are long gone -- in western society, at least. Please stop second-guessing your sons-in-law, who both seem like gems to me. Many couples today forgo the courtesy altogether.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a two-year relationship with a man who is loving and intelligent. We have talked about marriage since the beginning. I have traditional values, while he doesn't believe the institution of marriage is necessary.

This would be a second marriage for both of us. Our children are grown, so having kids doesn't factor into this decision. He says he's willing to marry me because he knows how important marriage is to me. I was raised in the church, and living together not only makes me uncomfortable, but is looked down upon by my family.

For a while he wanted to wait for a few of his financial issues to be worked out. They have been, but he doesn't seem ready to move forward. Another issue is that while we are compatible in most ways, we are polar opposites when it comes to politics and religion. It bothers me, but he says we don't have to agree on everything -- that if we did, life would be boring. I feel that to have a happy relationship, a couple's essential values and morals should be similar.

He never wants to discuss political issues, and it makes things difficult and awkward. I know he doesn't feel the same as I do, but he doesn't want to start an argument or discussion. We never really fight, but sometimes I'd like to be able to talk about what is going on in the world.

I'm wondering if a relationship with so many differences can survive. He does make me happy, and we have a very passionate, loving relationship. -- OPPOSITES ATTRACT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Opposites often attract, that's true. And, depending upon the people involved, it can lead to successful marriages.

However, couples in a solid relationship need to be able to communicate honestly with each other, and your gentleman friend appears not to be capable of doing it fully, which is not a good sign. If you plan on taking this relationship to the next level, I recommend the two of you have premarital counseling. Your church may offer it. Or, if he would prefer, consult a licensed marriage and family counselor.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is 3. She has reached the point where she notices and comments upon others' appearance. Generally, her comments are of the "that lady has a big bottom!" variety, spoken loudly and within earshot. We are working on the concepts of manners and tact, in addition to learning that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, etc.

In the meantime, however, have you any suggestions for how to address the subjects of her comments? I've offered some version of "I'm sorry, we're still working on our manners," but it seems to imply that I'm teaching her to make her hurtful comments in a quieter voice. -- EMBARRASSED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR EMBARRASSED: You are overthinking this. Children sometimes say the darndest things. The way you're handling it is just fine. I hardly think anyone will be wounded for life because of anything a 3-year-old utters. (Everything looks "big" to a kid that age.)