DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I lost a tooth. I'm a 56-year-old woman on disability, short on funds to rectify the problem, so I visited my local hospital's dental clinic. I hadn't visited a dentist in years, so I was quite fearful.

The clinic allows a dental resident to work on your issue under the supervision of a practiced dentist. The work I needed was performed every two weeks for about four months. What I did not count on was becoming seriously attracted to a 29-year-old resident I'll call "Justin."

At first, I couldn't believe it was possible, given the fact that I'm old enough to be his mother and my ex-husband is a doctor. I was a teacher and I know all the "rules." In fairness, in no way did Justin or I do or say anything inappropriate. Still, certain circumstances led me to believe that he felt the same about me. Neither of us acted on this.

My question: The work has been over for months, but some days the memories are so intense, I can't get him out of my mind. I don't know how to handle this. Please help. -- UNEXPECTED IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNEXPECTED: The "rules" you referred to are a code of ethics that professionals are expected to adhere to. The way to handle your feelings would be to consider that if Justin were to act on the feelings you think he shared with you, he could lose his job, and the future he has worked so hard to build would be destroyed. If you care about him at all beyond your attraction, you will not pursue this further.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about how to proceed with expressing sympathy for an old friend.

My husband and I were very close friends with a couple for about eight years. We moved away, but continued to see each other occasionally. We kept in touch, and in the past few years have been able to visit more frequently. When we were in their city six months ago, we saw them a few times and they mentioned that they had no friends. I know she has no siblings or parents left.

Her husband died suddenly of a stroke five months ago. They were together for 50 years. I sent her a formal sympathy note and three more casual follow-ups. I also wrote a poem in his memory. It may seem excessive, but I remember how bereft she felt when her sister died, and she felt that sympathy was not sufficiently extended (I don't think she was pointing the finger at me).

Abby, I don't want her to think that we aren't feeling a lot of sympathy for her. Yet her silence indicates that either our overtures are unwanted or that her condition is so bad that she's emotionally overwhelmed. When does an old friend stop reaching out? -- BEWILDERED IN OHIO

DEAR BEWILDERED: Call the woman and ask her how she's doing. Explain that because you haven't heard from her, you have been concerned.

You are a caring friend, but there is only so much anyone can do via long distance. It's possible that because her husband's death was unexpected, she has had her hands full learning how to take care of the details that he managed while he was alive.

If she's not doing well, suggest she join a support group so she won't be isolated in her grief. And recognize that, as much as you wish to support her, she will have to forge her own way through her heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I'm acquainted with a woman who has been experiencing seizures for several years and, because of the seizures, has been restricted from driving. She drove her son to school a couple of years ago (he had missed the bus) and ran into a brick mailbox, totaling her car.

She now wants to be able to drive and has said she will not tell her doctor about recent seizures. Isn't this potentially dangerous? -- RESTRICTED DRIVING IN KENTUCKY

DEAR RESTRICTED DRIVING: Of course it's dangerous! It is also irresponsible and indefensible.

Periodically, we hear in the media about tragedies that happened because someone had a seizure and drove into a restaurant, a shop window, etc. For someone with an illness that could endanger the lives of passengers, pedestrians and other innocent people to get behind the wheel of a vehicle is selfish and unconscionable.

Encourage her to talk to her doctor about adjusting or changing her medication. And remind her that if she were to cause another accident, and it was discovered that she was driving in spite of being restricted, that she could not only kill people, she could also be prosecuted criminally and civilly.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever I give my longtime friend a gift, her immediate reaction is to tell me, "Oh, no." Then she immediately offers to give me money for the gift.

When I give someone a gift, it is because I like that person and am excited to give them something I think they would like. When she tells me I shouldn't have done it and keeps asking how much money she owes me, I feel very hurt.

Now her daughter, whom I consider like my family, has learned it from her mom and does the same thing when I give her a gift. Abby, why do they react that way? I always give from my heart. -- GIFT GIVER IN TEXAS

DEAR GIFT GIVER: I suspect your friend learned this behavior the way her daughter has -- from her mother. You might ask your friend to explain why she does this when you give her a gift, because her reaction is peculiar. (Could it be she feels unworthy?) Because you know that receiving gifts makes her uncomfortable, my advice is to quit giving her things.

DEAR ABBY: I have a girlfriend. We have been dating for almost two months. We both love each other so much and think we are the perfect match. But she is going to high school and I'm a year younger, which puts me in eighth grade. We live close to each other, so we see each other on the weekends.

She has been accepted to an amazingly good school, but it's in downtown. What should we do? Should we keep our relationship or leave it if we won't be able to see each other as often? -- TEENS IN LOVE

DEAR TEENS: If I told you to break up because in a few months you and this girl won't be able to see each other as often, would you do it? I don't think so! What I do suggest is that the two of you let this play out. Enjoy each other for now, and in the fall, if your feelings -- or hers -- change, discuss it then.

DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, not long after I announced to my family that I was going to be married, my parents decided to divorce because Dad had been cheating on Mom. Because I allowed him to walk me down the aisle, she didn't attend my wedding. I was extremely hurt by it, but decided to forgive and forget. Unfortunately, my mother could not do that.

For the last six years, she has ignored my phone calls and text messages. I have sent cards and gifts for birthdays, Christmas and Mother's Day and received no acknowledgment (although she does generally send me a generic birthday or Christmas card).

We were very close before all this started, and I have tried reaching out to her in every way I know how. What makes this even more awkward is that she lives a stone's throw away, and my teenage daughter is close with her. If I'm outside when she drops my daughter off, she hides her face or pulls up in front of a big tree in my yard so she can't see me.

Cutting family out of her life is a pattern for her. My mother hasn't spoken to her own father in almost 50 years, and out of her six siblings, she speaks to only one. She cut her own mother out of her life for years until Grandma was on her deathbed.

With Mom's birthday coming up, I'm at the point where I think I'm done sending cards and gifts to someone who can't acknowledge me and blatantly hides from me. What do you think? -- CASTOFF IN ILLINOIS

DEAR CASTOFF: Sending the greeting cards is a minimal way to maintain contact, and you could continue doing it. But if you're really done, you're done.

DEAR ABBY: After 34 years of marriage, I realized that I must "earn the right" to have sex. This morning I agreed to go to a particular movie my wife wants me to see with her in exchange for sex.

I now recognize that this trading started years ago, and I just let it slide. But now I realize that what I call "trading for favors" has entered other aspects of our relationship: "Do this for me, and I'll do that for you."

I have a pretty thick skin, but more and more, I'm concluding this is a game that I'd rather not play. Can you give me any advice as to where we can go for help? I have no problem involving her in any solution. -- MUST EARN THE RIGHT

DEAR MUST EARN THE RIGHT: I agree that your wife must be a part of the solution to your problem. Because the old "pay for play" no longer suits you, the place to seek help would be the office of a licensed marriage counselor. I wish you luck, because decades-old dynamics can be hard to change.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Jennifer's" mom recently passed away. I was with her through the entire process.

While cleaning out her mother's home, Jennifer asked to store some things in my garage. Of course I agreed. She's unable to store her mother's things because she lives in a small apartment.

It has been three weeks now. My question to you is, what is proper etiquette when asking a friend how long she wants me to store her mother's belongings? -- STORAGE ETIQUETTE IN THE EAST

DEAR ETIQUETTE: If keeping Jennifer's belongings in your garage is creating a problem for you, this is a question you should have asked before agreeing she could move them in. Since you didn't, and I assume you will want your garage back at some point, set a deadline and tell your friend in plenty of time so she can make other arrangements for storing them. If you don't, you could find yourself holding them indefinitely.