DEAR ABBY: I've been married almost four years. My husband and I are both barely 40, still quite young, but we have sex only once or twice a month. Our relationship is great, and we love each other. I just wish we had sex more often. I've told him I would like more, but it stays the same.

When we talked about past relationships, he mentioned women hounding him to have sex, so I don't think it's me. I don't want to cheat, but I'm afraid I eventually will if my needs are not met. I don't want to leave him, but I don't want an almost sexless marriage.

He's a very masculine man, so I don't know how to ask him to go to the doctor to get something to increase his sex drive. Should I do that? Or should I get things to supplement our sex, like toys? -- NEEDS MORE IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS MORE: You appear to have married a very masculine man who has a very low sex drive or who may be borderline asexual. If marital aids would help you, by all means get some. You should also have a frank talk with your husband and suggest he consult his physician about the discrepancy in your sex drives.

Marriage counseling might help to improve your level of communication, but if none of the above work, you will have to decide if you are prepared to live with the situation as it is.

DEAR ABBY: I just stumbled upon my daughter-in-law's Twitter account. She has posted half-naked pictures, talked about all the drinks she was consuming, and said that if she didn't have a child, she'd be gone. The language she used would make a sailor blush.

I baby-sit for her, and I was shocked, to say the least. I foolishly posted a shocked cat on Facebook, stating that "this is me reading your Twitter account."

My son is now upset with me that I read her Twitter posts. I am not sure he had seen them. I saved them on my computer, which he picked up when he was here and ran through my history.

I know I didn't handle this the right way, but she was saying she starts drinking at 7 a.m., and that "moonshine wasn't working anymore." I am truly concerned about the baby. What can I do to repair this situation? -- SHOCKED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SHOCKED: If that post was public, then anyone could see it. Your son may be embarrassed that you saw how dysfunctional his marriage is, and that's why he is misdirecting his anger toward you rather than where it belongs.

If your daughter-in-law is drinking from the moment she wakes up, she's in no condition to be caring for a baby. If she is using something stronger, you need to remind your son that the child's welfare must come first. If your statement is ignored, you will have to decide whether to involve child protective services.

DEAR ABBY: My husband decided to buy a house. I never wanted one and now I'm depressed.

I am thankful that my husband provides for the family and puts a roof over our heads, but now that we are in our house, my days are spent doing chores, yard work, and cleaning, cleaning and cleaning. This is why I never wanted the responsibility of a house. I don't have time for my family because I'm so busy maintaining this house I never wanted.

I have been distant from my husband because I secretly despise him for putting me in this position when he knew it wasn't what I wanted. Am I being selfish? -- DON'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY

DEAR DON'T: Selfish? No. Passive-aggressive, yes. The problem with passive aggression is that the problem never gets resolved. If you feel you have too much on your shoulders, tell your husband how you are feeling so he can either help you with the chores, or hire someone to do the yard work and some of the cleaning.

DEAR ABBY: I love helping others, but I'm ready to quit every volunteer job I have. I'm tired of people who are not volunteers telling me I am doing my job wrong.

When you volunteer, you are given training on how to do your job. You drive to the site using your own gas, spend your time helping others, and a lot of times you spend your own money to obtain the supplies you need to do the job. I could be spending my time -- and resources -- doing things like shopping or getting my nails done.

Volunteers don't want to do all of that only to hear how we're not doing the job right, suggestions on how to do it better or complaints that we didn't do enough. I am so sick of people who delight in telling you that you're not doing enough. I can't save the world, but I can help one person each day. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. -- SOUNDING OFF IN TEXAS

DEAR SOUNDING OFF: You're welcome. That's what I'm here for. I hope writing this has made you feel better. Now get back to work, because what you do is important.

DEAR ABBY: I am tattooed. I started getting inked when I was 22. I am now 31.

Recently, I decided to get an extensive design on my left arm. It will take four sessions to complete. The first session is scheduled on a Tuesday, not normally my day off. I can use PTO hours to cover it, but what do I say when -- and if -- management notices my ink, puts two and two together, and realizes I took time off for this? -- INKED IN INDIANA

DEAR INKED: If that happens, you should tell the truth -- that you took PTO for a personal errand. That's what personal/paid time off is for.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had sex. Afterward the man told me he had an STD. He then proceeded to explain why he told me after instead of being upfront with me. I'm paranoid about that kind of thing, and he knew it before we became intimate.

Now I'm worried I have it too, and I'm breaking up with him because of it. I feel he should've told me first and left the choice to me if I wanted to risk getting his STD or not. I'm angry and upset. I don't know how to go about talking it out with him and maintain the friendship between his son and mine.

When is the right time to tell someone you've got an STD? And how can I maintain my kid's friendship, because he doesn't have many friends? -- PARANOID IN ARIZONA

DEAR "PARANOID": You are not the least bit paranoid to be concerned that this man may have passed his STD along to you. What he did shows a distinct lack of character. I agree the choice of whether to pursue a sexual relationship should have been made after you were fully informed. If you haven't told him that already, you should, because all of your feelings are justified.

If you feel you must continue to have him in your life so your son can have his son for a friend, I suppose you can do that. But do it on a strictly platonic basis.

Your next step should be to consult your doctor and get yourself tested so you can get on meds if you need them.

DEAR ABBY: As an aging adult, I have encountered a situation for the first time that I'm sure will come up again. An acquaintance has just passed away. It was someone I didn't know well. We would like to send a donation to honor the deceased. However, the only organization mentioned in the obituary is one we cannot support. Should we ignore our beliefs and honor the individual, or is there some other way to honor the person while maintaining (and funding) our "side" of this issue? -- FIRST-TIME DILEMMA

DEAR F.T.D.: You do not have to send a donation to the organization mentioned in the announcement. Another way to honor the deceased would be to write a short note to the family expressing how much you admired their loved one and offering condolences.

DEAR ABBY: I know some of your readers have middle school, high school and/or college yearbooks -- theirs or a relative's -- they no longer want to keep. Instead of throwing them away, I'd like to offer the following options: (1) If the school still exists, see if they want it; (2) ask if the school's alumni association would like to have them; or (3) offer them to the local library for its local history section.

This will save space in the landfills and allow future generations to know what the school was like before they were born. -- LARRY IN GRAND, TEXAS

DEAR LARRY: I'm not letting go of my yearbooks (memories, memories!), but those are good suggestions, and I'm sure some of my readers will appreciate them. Thanks for writing.