DEAR ABBY: My fiancee and I plan to be married next year. I met her after she left her husband because he had cheated on her twice. She refuses to tell her daughters that she left their dad because he cheated, so I am doomed to be the "bad guy" for eternity. They think I'm "the man who stole Mama from Daddy." Her youngest (age 25) thinks I'm the devil incarnate and is unbelievably rude to me, no matter who is around. I'm thinking marriage will be hell because she and her mother interact every day. What am I to do? -- BLAMELESS IN THE SOUTH
DEAR BLAMELESS: This is not a question of what "you" should do. It's a question of what you and your fiancee should do together. While it may not be necessary for her to tell her adult daughters that their father was a cheater, and that's the reason she left him, she should definitely call a family meeting and clear the air by telling them that you were not the reason the marriage ended. She should also insist that you be treated with respect -- if not affection.
However, if she's unwilling to do that, then you should seriously consider calling off the wedding because a marriage under those conditions would be miserable for you. Her daughters would guarantee it.