DEAR ABBY: My parents have been happily married for more than 30 years. While flipping through an old family album recently, I discovered photos from a wedding many years ago that I had never seen before. Turns out, they were from my father's first wedding. That's when I realized his marriage to my mother was his second wedding.

I'd like to learn more about his first marriage, but it's clearly something from my father's past that I can't talk to him about. I also wouldn't want to sour relations with his side of the family by bringing it up with them. What should I do? -- WANTS TO KNOW MORE

DEAR WANTS TO KNOW MORE: The shortest distance between two points is a direct line. How do you know this is "clearly" something your father won't discuss? If his first marriage was a deep dark secret, those photos would not have been kept in an album. The solution to your question would be to tell him you saw them and ask him to tell you about it. He may have learned lessons from his first marriage from which you could benefit.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in my late 20s dating my on-and-off-again boyfriend of five years. I dread the parties and family gatherings he brings me to. I'm polite and good at holding conversations, but generally quiet around his friends and family members I don't know well.

He jokingly puts me down at each event and says things like, "Why do I even bring you?" or, "Thanks for not doing or saying anything" (which isn't true). When I tell him afterward that I find his jibes offensive and suggest maybe he should date someone else who doesn't irritate him at social events, he either plays it off as "joking" or says, "Well, it's true."

Any advice on how to handle this situation? -- QUIET ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR QUIET ONE: Humiliating someone isn't funny; it is cruel. If the shoe were on the other foot, I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like to be on the receiving end. If you have told him you don't like his jibes and want them stopped and yet he persists, handle it by re-evaluating your relationship and looking for someone who is more sensitive to hang out with. If the ridicule happens often, it may be a clue that you are really not compatible.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my mother a month ago. I just could not accept it because she was always there for me through the good and bad times. I would like to know how long my grieving period will last for me. -- SON MOURNING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SON MOURNING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. To answer your question, there is no set timetable for grief, and there are different stages of it. Right now, your grief is intense because it is fresh. With time, that intensity should fade to a level where it is tolerable. A grief support group could provide you the chance to talk about your feelings. Although you will always miss your mother, the sadness of her loss should not rule your life.

DEAR ABBY: My life is boring, repetitive and I am often depressed. I have trouble talking to others, which makes things harder. Every day is the same: Get up, go to a long day of school, come home, do homework, play video games, draw, go to bed.

The weekends aren't much better. My family never does anything, we never go anywhere. I don't have friends (the one I'd consider hanging out with is always busy), and at 15, I can't drive anywhere, get a job or do anything on my own for another year. I have never kissed, dated or even had a crush on anyone (I'm not sure why, it's not like I'm gay or too embarrassed), so I haven't got much to talk about with my peers anyway.

I'm alone. I'm not popular, I'm a complete nerd and I'm afraid to tell others what I enjoy. If I tell anyone I like video games and Dungeons and Dragons, I know I'll be mocked for the next few years of my life.

I'm pretty smart and I do well in school, but I'm not good at much else. My social skills are borderline nonexistent. My entire life is school. I just want some attention, some friends, something to do with my life. I need help, some advice, something, anything! -- BORING LIFE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR BORING LIFE: Having never met you, I can't surmise why you have difficulty interacting with others. However, there is nothing wrong with playing video games unless you substitute them for real-life experiences.

Surely, there are activities at your school that you could join that would give you more contact with your peers -- sports and special interest clubs, such as art, come immediately to mind. If your family belongs to a church, there may be a youth group that would welcome you.

If you need suggestions for finding an activity at school that might be a good "fit," talk to a counselor there. Explain how depressed and isolated you're feeling and ask for help. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

And remember, things will change when you turn 16 and can drive and work.

DEAR ABBY: Many times, my co-workers make grammatical and punctuation errors in emails they send (both internal and external) or misuse words on conference calls. Is it in bad taste to mention to the individuals their misuse of the word "there" versus "their" or "your" versus "you're"? One of the most common spoken grammatical mistakes is, "I seen it" instead of "I've seen" or "I saw." I am not sure if they would appreciate knowing they are misusing words or if they might become offended. -- HELPFUL IN FLORIDA

DEAR HELPFUL: If you see a co-worker consistently make grammatical errors, it would be doing the person a favor to point it out -- once or twice -- in private. However, to continually harp on it would likely cause embarrassment, come across as one-upmanship and cause resentment. The same is true about errors that are spoken.

DEAR ABBY: I have never received a romantic Valentine, and that's OK with me. With all the sappy movies on TV and the stores blooming in pink and red, we often forget that St. Valentine wasn't the one in love. (He was a Roman priest who married Christian couples and was killed for his trouble.)

My advice to others, particularly singles, is to take a page out of St. Valentine's book and focus not on yourself, but on others. Every year on Feb. 14 I give everyone I encounter a kiddie Valentine, and every year at least one person is delighted. I have been doing this for the last 20 years and my St. Valentine's Days have been happy because of it. It's amazing the difference that focusing on giving rather than receiving can make. (And it works any day of the year.) -- KID AT HEART

DEAR KID: I couldn't agree more with your positive philosophy. Reading your letter lifted my spirits, and I hope it will bring a smile to my readers as it did for me. Thank you for sharing.

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about the proper way to handle something. I found a dentist I really like and plan to continue seeing for regular cleanings. I asked my dentist to complete an estimate for orthodontic work, and the cost was several thousand dollars. I got a few more estimates and found another company that can do the same work and will charge a lot less.

I plan to go with the least expensive option. However, when I return to the dentist, I'm afraid it will be awkward or that I'll be perceived as rude for not accepting their service bid. Help! -- WHAT'S RIGHT?

DEAR WHAT'S RIGHT?: Talk to the dentist you like and tell him/her you received other estimates for the orthodontic work. Then ask if he/she can match the lower estimate. You may find the dentist is willing to do that. But if not, the dentist will understand that your budget is what dictated your choice to use someone else. That's not rude; it is pennywise.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 57-year-old male, married to a nice enough lady, but I am no longer in love with her. We're more like roommates. It has been like this for 15 years.

I want to leave. In fact, I've planned it. But now I feel like, seven years away from retirement, maybe I could stick it out. The thing is, I don't want to. My kids/grandkids are in another state, and I'd like to move there. Should the promise I made to my wife on our wedding day hold me back? -- TORN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TORN: I'm sorry the flame of love has fizzled on your part. Does your wife know how you feel? If she doesn't, you're both overdue for a serious talk.

Before tossing aside your long marriage, you should give marriage counseling a try to see if you can rediscover what attracted you to her in the first place. If that doesn't work, a move for you may be in order. But first, a warning: If you leave their mother, the "kids" may not be as glad to see you as you might assume they will be.