DEAR ABBY: On July 13, you responded to someone asking whether friends should tell friends anonymously that their spouse is cheating. You advised that if someone is not willing to include their name, they should mind their own business.

One of my dear friends from church didn't get a letter or a phone call during her marriage to her husband, who cheated on her constantly. What she did get was HIV-positive status, later full-blown AIDS and then death. Her husband was positive when she became pregnant, and her son was also born positive.

I believe that if someone knew and had told her, she might have been able to use protection. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded the person not revealing his or her name as much as she minded being blindsided by her husband concealing his illness.

Personally, I'd want to know if I were living a daily life based on lies and deception. Had someone spoken up, perhaps my friend would still be alive. -- MIMI IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MIMI: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your friend. And thank you for sharing your compelling story. Other readers responded to that letter with equal passion. Read on for a sample:

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband was a cheater who ended up "sharing" his STD with me. I would have been eternally grateful to anyone who stepped up and told me about the affairs.

Unlike the wives you referenced in your answer, I was in a position to deal with it. I dealt with it as soon as I knew, but if someone had disclosed it to me earlier, perhaps I wouldn't have experienced the humiliation of an STD, or the lies of a spouse telling me how much he loved me while sleeping around behind my back. The truth is always the best policy. -- MICHELLE IN UTAH

DEAR ABBY: I feel the best way to save a marriage involving a cheating spouse is to directly address it with the cheater. This allows the person to "come clean" to the spouse. When the unsuspecting spouse hears it from another source, it's like a double blow -- everyone else knows but the one being cheated on.

The marriages I have seen survive are those in which the cheater is able to confess to the infidelity, own up to the indiscretions and promise not to interact with the other offender. From experience, I know it is not an easy road back, but it's worth every step. -- SARA IN SPOKANE

DEAR ABBY: Two close friends of mine married young. They were immature and struggled to find their footing in the relationship. During the first year, unbeknownst to each other, they both had one-night stands, which they confided to me separately. I believed that imparting that information to anyone would only hurt people for no purpose, so I kept it to myself.

I'm glad I did. They wound up growing as individuals and as a couple, and they have been happily married for 20 years. I have no doubt that if I had spilled the beans, it would have promptly ended the union. I'm convinced that were I to do it now, it would serve only to create unnecessary pain where there is joy. -- TIGHT-LIPPED TESSIE

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 18 years. This is the second marriage for both of us. His ex-wife has asked him to fill in as caretaker for her father while she goes to an appointment. He sees nothing wrong with this, but it makes me very uncomfortable.

I don't think this should be our responsibility. His ex-father-in-law has three other grown children. I don't know how to handle this without coming off as the bad guy. Help, please. Or am I the one who needs counseling? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN GULFPORT

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I wish you had mentioned how friendly your husband's divorce was, and how much contact he has continued to maintain with his ex's family. While I agree that caring for his former father-in-law should be his children's responsibility, I would have to know more about this than you have written because there may be extenuating circumstances.

That your husband would be willing to do this -- occasionally -- speaks well about his level of compassion and character. But if this is ongoing, I can see why you would be uncomfortable about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a vegetarian since I was 6 for ethical reasons, and I would like to raise my unborn daughter to be one, too. The problem is my parents and five sisters don't agree. They say that I will be depriving her and that I should let her make her own choices. They also said they will do as they please, even after I explained I would always have her food prepared in advance. Am I already a bad mom for saying no to meat? -- ETHICAL REASONS IN SPOKANE

DEAR ETHICAL REASONS: According to the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine: "Children raised on fruits, vegetables, whole grains and legumes grow up to be slimmer and healthier and even live longer than their meat-eating friends." However, not all doctors feel this way and advise that around 8 or 9 months complete proteins be introduced into a baby's diet to ensure the child gets enough iron. This is why this very important subject should be discussed with your child's pediatrician to help you decide what is best for her.

DEAR ABBY: My boss and his wife have been my friends for 25 years. I invited them to my daughter's wedding. His daughter is being married in three weeks and I have not yet received an invitation. I'm wondering why. Any thoughts? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: There could be any number of reasons why you weren't invited. Their daughter and her fiance may prefer that the money her parents would have spent on a large wedding be given to them instead so they can save for a down payment on a house or condo; it will be a small, intimate affair with family only; they are paying for the wedding themselves and don't have the money to invite all of their parents' friends. My advice is to wait and see how this plays out, because eventually, I am sure you will have your answer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old boy. I'm happy with my life, except for one thing. My mom believes in God, and Dad doesn't. I believe in God, but I don't support my mom's religion. My friends and neighbors think I'm in that religion, but I don't believe in their beliefs. It's really uncomfortable when people ask why I haven't been in church.

Mom signs me up for church activities, and I don't like going. I feel awkward when I try to talk to my parents about it. I'm not close to them, and I don't know what to do. I have been feeling stressed out lately. I don't want to hurt my mother's feelings. Can you help me? -- TEEN IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR TEEN: I can try. What you should not do is allow your mother's devout faith and your lack of it to become a contest of wills or a basis for argument.

At 15, you are entering adulthood, and these are important years in your life. Thank your mother for the great foundation she has given you. Tell her you love her, and you hope she will continue to love you as you explore what your beliefs are on your spiritual journey -- because it is a journey. A wise clergyman once told me something I will share with you: The opposite of faith is not doubt; it is certainty.

DEAR ABBY: I have had one major and one minor bout with cancer. Everyone I know treated me the same and were helpful except for one longtime friend I'll call Brandy.

You see, I changed and grew as a result of having cancer. The others seemed to accept this, but not Brandy. She still expects me to "snap back" and do everything I liked to do before. She can't accept that I want to try new things and have let go of others, sends me "gloom and doom" articles about cancer, and even tried to fix me up with someone even though I am happily married. Brandy treated me like an invalid, even after I recovered.

She does not like change and became angry when I suggested that both of us had changed -- perhaps too much to sustain the friendship. I tried explaining it to her, but she didn't understand. A therapist advised ending the friendship as gently as possible, so I did.

Do you think I did the right thing? We used to have so much in common. -- NOTHING'S THE SAME IN NEW YORK

DEAR NOTHING'S: Although you used to have a lot in common with Brandy, your cancer changed you. Someone who sends "gloom and doom" articles about the disease and tries to destroy your marriage by fixing you up is not a friend but a saboteur. You absolutely did the right thing by following your therapist's suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend pins me up against a wall to kiss me every chance she gets. What does this mean? -- LIP LOCKED IN L.A.

DEAR LIP LOCKED: I don't know what it means to her, but to me it means she may have seen it in a movie and is trying to show you how passionate she is about you. If you don't like it, speak up and say so -- and if you do like it, speak up and say so.