DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 18 years. This is the second marriage for both of us. His ex-wife has asked him to fill in as caretaker for her father while she goes to an appointment. He sees nothing wrong with this, but it makes me very uncomfortable.

I don't think this should be our responsibility. His ex-father-in-law has three other grown children. I don't know how to handle this without coming off as the bad guy. Help, please. Or am I the one who needs counseling? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN GULFPORT

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I wish you had mentioned how friendly your husband's divorce was, and how much contact he has continued to maintain with his ex's family. While I agree that caring for his former father-in-law should be his children's responsibility, I would have to know more about this than you have written because there may be extenuating circumstances.

That your husband would be willing to do this -- occasionally -- speaks well about his level of compassion and character. But if this is ongoing, I can see why you would be uncomfortable about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a vegetarian since I was 6 for ethical reasons, and I would like to raise my unborn daughter to be one, too. The problem is my parents and five sisters don't agree. They say that I will be depriving her and that I should let her make her own choices. They also said they will do as they please, even after I explained I would always have her food prepared in advance. Am I already a bad mom for saying no to meat? -- ETHICAL REASONS IN SPOKANE

DEAR ETHICAL REASONS: According to the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine: "Children raised on fruits, vegetables, whole grains and legumes grow up to be slimmer and healthier and even live longer than their meat-eating friends." However, not all doctors feel this way and advise that around 8 or 9 months complete proteins be introduced into a baby's diet to ensure the child gets enough iron. This is why this very important subject should be discussed with your child's pediatrician to help you decide what is best for her.

DEAR ABBY: My boss and his wife have been my friends for 25 years. I invited them to my daughter's wedding. His daughter is being married in three weeks and I have not yet received an invitation. I'm wondering why. Any thoughts? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: There could be any number of reasons why you weren't invited. Their daughter and her fiance may prefer that the money her parents would have spent on a large wedding be given to them instead so they can save for a down payment on a house or condo; it will be a small, intimate affair with family only; they are paying for the wedding themselves and don't have the money to invite all of their parents' friends. My advice is to wait and see how this plays out, because eventually, I am sure you will have your answer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old boy. I'm happy with my life, except for one thing. My mom believes in God, and Dad doesn't. I believe in God, but I don't support my mom's religion. My friends and neighbors think I'm in that religion, but I don't believe in their beliefs. It's really uncomfortable when people ask why I haven't been in church.

Mom signs me up for church activities, and I don't like going. I feel awkward when I try to talk to my parents about it. I'm not close to them, and I don't know what to do. I have been feeling stressed out lately. I don't want to hurt my mother's feelings. Can you help me? -- TEEN IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR TEEN: I can try. What you should not do is allow your mother's devout faith and your lack of it to become a contest of wills or a basis for argument.

At 15, you are entering adulthood, and these are important years in your life. Thank your mother for the great foundation she has given you. Tell her you love her, and you hope she will continue to love you as you explore what your beliefs are on your spiritual journey -- because it is a journey. A wise clergyman once told me something I will share with you: The opposite of faith is not doubt; it is certainty.

DEAR ABBY: I have had one major and one minor bout with cancer. Everyone I know treated me the same and were helpful except for one longtime friend I'll call Brandy.

You see, I changed and grew as a result of having cancer. The others seemed to accept this, but not Brandy. She still expects me to "snap back" and do everything I liked to do before. She can't accept that I want to try new things and have let go of others, sends me "gloom and doom" articles about cancer, and even tried to fix me up with someone even though I am happily married. Brandy treated me like an invalid, even after I recovered.

She does not like change and became angry when I suggested that both of us had changed -- perhaps too much to sustain the friendship. I tried explaining it to her, but she didn't understand. A therapist advised ending the friendship as gently as possible, so I did.

Do you think I did the right thing? We used to have so much in common. -- NOTHING'S THE SAME IN NEW YORK

DEAR NOTHING'S: Although you used to have a lot in common with Brandy, your cancer changed you. Someone who sends "gloom and doom" articles about the disease and tries to destroy your marriage by fixing you up is not a friend but a saboteur. You absolutely did the right thing by following your therapist's suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend pins me up against a wall to kiss me every chance she gets. What does this mean? -- LIP LOCKED IN L.A.

DEAR LIP LOCKED: I don't know what it means to her, but to me it means she may have seen it in a movie and is trying to show you how passionate she is about you. If you don't like it, speak up and say so -- and if you do like it, speak up and say so.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old identical twin. My sister and I are sick of the whole "twin" thing and want to go to separate schools. We really want to be our own people. We have wanted this for a long time now. However, I'm not sure we can because, where I live, you have to go to the school in the town you live in.

Do you have any suggestions on things we can do to make new, different friends, and how we can look different from each other? We are moving this year, so next fall we will be in a new school. -- THE TWIN THING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR TWIN THING: You and your sister are smart girls. What you want to do will be healthy for both of you, and I congratulate you for wanting to do it. It's important that each of you develop as individuals, and the move will give the perfect opportunity to start.

If you have been dressing alike, make a point of not doing it from now on. If you have been wearing your hair in the same style, change that too. When you enroll in the new school, join separate clubs, go out for different sports, etc. If you do, people will no longer perceive you as molded from the same cookie cutter. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: As a baby shower gift for my (soon-to-be) grandson, I plan on opening up a UTMA (Uniform Transfers to Minors) account for his college education with a $5,000 initial deposit. My idea is to add $1,000 every year on his birthday for the first five years.

Would it be tacky to challenge, or encourage, his other three grandparents to contribute to the account by matching their contributions every year up to my $1,000? Or would it be better to just tell them my plans and let them know they can also make deposits to the account? I don't know the financial situations of the others, and I don't want to offend anyone. Your thoughts? -- ABOUT TO BE A GRANDPA IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRANDPA: I'm voting for your second idea, for the reason you gave. While the concept of an education fund for your grandbaby is laudable, making it a "challenge" might create financial stress for the other grandparents and be perceived as one-upmanship if they are unable to donate as much to the fund as you do.

DEAR ABBY: An older friend and I have exchanged emails since last spring. Hers have been mostly political and disparaging toward minorities. I asked her to please not send this stuff since we have opposite opinions on the subject, and I don't plan to change my mind. I enjoy our in-person talks because they are nothing like the emails she sends, which are "forwards" somebody else has put together.

I quit reading them, but is there a way to politely stop her from disseminating nasty propaganda? I have tried fact-checking and sending corrections to her and to those on the long list of people she has sent these emails. It doesn't work. -- FACT CHECKER

DEAR FACT CHECKER: Because someone sends you emails does not mean you must read them all. Filter your email so that the political rants go into a special folder, then delete them en masse.