DEAR ABBY: When my children were small, my husband left me. He married the other woman the day after our divorce was final. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I suffered greatly in the years that followed.
Recently my brother did the same thing to his wife of many years. I find myself feeling very angry and hurt that he would do this. He said it was wrong when it happened to me, but now he expects me to support his decision to abandon his wife. He also expects me to befriend his new wife.
I can't help but identify with his ex. My heart goes out to her, and I'm furious with my brother and his new wife. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Must my loyalty to my family override my principles? -- LOYAL TO A POINT IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR LOYAL: That you would identify strongly with your former sister-in-law isn't wrong; it is normal under the circumstances. Not knowing how close your relationship is with your brother, I can't decide for you whether blood is thicker than water. But I can certainly understand your distaste at the idea of befriending the woman he cheated with.
Whichever you decide to do, continue to be kind to your ex-SIL. She needs all the emotional support she can get now that your brother is cozily ensconced in his new love nest.