DEAR ABBY: I love my parents and would do anything for them. They have never been good about managing money. They are both retired now and on a fixed income, and they have been asking me or one of my four adult siblings for money to help with their bills each month.

I don't mind giving, but recently my siblings and I have become annoyed because, while they continue to ask for money, at the same time they are also taking short trips, which include hotels and rental cars, and inviting friends out to dinner.

They also have a storage locker full of junk that eats up several hundred dollars a month. We have offered to help them clean out the locker, and possibly make money from some of the items in there, but they never commit. Should my siblings and I continue to help, or should we put our collective feet down? -- ANNOYED IN ALAMEDA, CALIF.

DEAR ANNOYED: Put your collective feet down. You and your siblings are good children, but it's time for an intervention. Before giving your parents more money, you should all sit down with them and help them to create a budget, taking into account their fixed income and what you children can afford as a supplement. Then tell your parents they must live within that budget. Period. Their expenses must be trimmed, and the storage unit would be an excellent place to start.

DEAR ABBY: How do you discourage someone's friendliness without being rude?

An elderly man recently moved in with his family in our neighborhood. He roams the neighborhood and approaches anyone he sees to introduce himself and start a conversation. He doesn't seem to have dementia, as he knows where and who he is, but his behavior is a little odd (such as asking for the precise spelling of everyone's first name).

Unfortunately, now that he has met my husband and me, he comes up and knocks on the door to chat -- weekdays, evenings, weekends. The last time I was outside with my three kids, he approached with a stack of photos and proceeded to show me at least 100 prints of a trip he had taken abroad -- 10 years ago.

I feel trapped because I don't want to be mean to an old man, but I dread seeing him stroll down the road. What is the best way to deal with this situation? -- WANTING TO WITHDRAW

DEAR WANTING: The poor man is probably lonely and looking for human contact. Because you are not prepared to engage in his "neighborly" conversations, the next time he strolls by, tell him that you do not have time to chat right now. If he knocks on your door, tell him that you are busy or that you will be leaving shortly. And suggest to him that he may want to find a senior center so that he can make friends with contemporaries and won't feel so isolated.

DEAR ABBY: One of my girlfriends is dating my ex-boyfriend. They just had a kid, and he started flirting with me. I'm not in a relationship, so I flirted back. Now I'm getting bullied nonstop because people say I'm gonna break them up. But shouldn't they be mad at him more than me?

Why is everyone jumping down my throat? I didn't do anything with him. It was just words. Either way, he's the one in the relationship! He shouldn't have done it in the first place, and yes, I admit it was wrong on my part, too. But not as wrong, right?

I need help, because I go to a small school, and everyone here wants to jump me now. It's hard to concentrate on work with mean comments getting shouted out at me. I've said my "sorry's" to everyone. Even though it's none of their business. -- HE'S WRONG, RIGHT?

DEAR HE'S: It should be apparent that your ex-boyfriend still feels the need to prove to himself that he's attractive to women, which makes him no prize. You were right to apologize to "everyone." (I hope the first apology was to your girlfriend.)

There is an unwritten rule that you're not supposed to date your friends' exes, and frankly, this is the reason for it. I can't stop your classmates' judgment of you, and neither can you. But you can hold your head high and tell them you have learned a lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I am on a self-imposed strict diet to try to curb my weight. Often when my spouse and I are invited to a couple's house, I will ask what they are serving and let them know about my diet. Is this rude? Would it be more rude to say nothing and eat beforehand?

I have fallen into the pitfalls of overeating, and I'm afraid that if I let myself splurge for even one night it could spiral. It has happened before. The last time was at a party where all they had was pizza. When I politely declined, the host joked that "I was too good for their food." Was I wrong? -- STAYING STRONG IN TENNESSEE

DEAR STAYING STRONG: It's not rude to bring the fact that you are watching your weight to your host's attention when you are invited. A considerate host should ask the guest if there are any food allergies, restrictions, etc. If that doesn't happen, it's all right to inform the host if there are foods you need to avoid. If guests prefer to lessen the temptation to pig out by eating before going to a party, that's fine too.

P.S. As to that pizza party -- were you warned in advance what kind of party it was? If not, your host was extremely rude to call attention to the fact that you weren't eating and to ridicule you by "joking" about it. Now that's tacky!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS: The Year of the Rooster begins today. I'm wishing a happy, healthy new year to all who celebrate it. People born in the Year of the Rooster are trustworthy, work well on a schedule and are responsible at work. They are also observant, active, resourceful, courageous and talented. Roosters are confident in themselves. They enjoy the spotlight, but can appear vain and boastful when they "crow" about their accomplishments!

DEAR ABBY: I work in customer service and was helping a guest. During my eight- to 10-minute chat with her, she showed me her phone. The wallpaper on her phone was a picture of the guest and her boyfriend in Times Square. Without mentioning it to the guest, I recognized her boyfriend as the husband of a friend of mine I'll call Julie.

Julie and her husband have two young children. Part of me wants to confront him, but part of me says this would destroy a family. I have resolved to remain quiet unless I hear of marital difficulties, but would that be a disservice to my friend and her children? I feel like I'm carrying a grenade that may devastate many innocents. -- WANTS TO CONFRONT HIM

DEAR WANTS TO CONFRONT: Unless you are 100 percent certain that the man you saw on the phone was who you think he was, and not someone with a strong resemblance to Julie's husband, do not involve yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My mom told me that when I get engaged, she is going to hire a PI to investigate my fiance! I know that parents can be concerned, but this seems to me like total paranoia.

She told me a story she saw in the news about a seemingly normal man who ended up killing people to steal their money to pay for his wedding. That's scary, but I don't think it warrants hiring a PI to follow my future fiance around. I think my mom is going beyond being overprotective. What do you think? -- FEELING CONFLICTED

DEAR FEELING CONFLICTED: I agree with you. What your mother is proposing is the definition of helicopter parenting. If your boyfriend were to find out, it would be the end of your romance. Perhaps you should ask your mother how she would feel if your fiance's family hired a detective to shake your family tree. I'll bet she wouldn't like it one bit.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to see how other wives would handle this. I have a "friend" who constantly calls my husband her "boyfriend." She's married, and I'm sure this irks her spouse too. Every time they come over, she has to give my husband a really big hug (she has a large chest).

I feel what she's doing is inappropriate and want to know what you recommend to put a stop to this. It has reached the point I wish they would quit coming here. My husband and I are both polite people, but I would like for this to cease. -- POLITE PAT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR POLITE PAT: I'm a wife and here's how I'd handle it. I would have your husband tell your friend privately that her effusiveness is embarrassing and to please stop doing it. If he doesn't feel comfortable doing this, talk to the woman yourself and tell her that when she calls your husband her boyfriend, it offends you, and that her husband should be her boyfriend.