DEAR ABBY: I am a straight man who met and fell in love with a transgender girl I'll call Eve. We dated for almost three years, and they were the happiest of my life. In all that time, we never once had an argument. She said I had given her the strength to come out to her family and begin her transition. I was planning to ask her to marry me.

Without any indication that anything was wrong, she dumped me one day and weeks later began dating her friend, another trans girl. I wanted to walk away and take time to heal, but Eve maintained that I was important to her and we could remain friends.

For the next few months we tried, but her new girlfriend treated me like I was a threat. While I was emotionally hurting, she seemed to take intense pleasure in showing me how happy they were together. It eventually led to friction, and now my ex thinks I caused it because I was jealous, so she cut off all contact with me.

I stood by her when she absolutely needed my support, but when the time came to give a little back, I was abandoned. I'm worried I will never trust anyone again, and I don't know how to get "myself" back. Can you help? -- ABANDONED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR ABANDONED: It might help if you consider that there are more than physical changes when making the kind of transition Eve was undergoing, and she may have felt that her trans friend was better able to relate to what she was experiencing than you were. It was cowardly of her to just dump you rather than tell you she had doubts about your relationship, and it was selfish of her to pressure you to hang around as "just a friend" afterward. It also wasn't realistic.

What you are feeling is normal. However, it might help you to move forward if you keep in mind that all women are not the same, that building trust takes time, and give yourself time to heal before trying to replace Eve.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman who recently got out of a six-year abusive relationship. While I was in the relationship, no one knew what was going on. When I finally left him, I started dating a man of a different race. People are now saying I moved too fast because we got together a month after I moved out. But we had been close friends for more than a year before things started to kick off.

The issue is, my family disapproves of our relationship because of his race and because they believe he didn't give me enough time to figure out what I wanted. I feel like I already knew what I wanted. I had been emotionally done with my first relationship for a good six months. My family refuses to meet him, nor do they want to hear anything about our relationship. My family and I had always been close -- until now.

I am happy with my new boyfriend (even my grandma sees a difference). I just wish I knew how to get my family to understand and agree to meet him. What can I do? -- READY FOR THIS IN OHIO

DEAR READY: If you are open to a suggestion, because you were in an abusive relationship for so long, talk with a licensed psychotherapist about it. You were unhappy for a long time, and it's possible that the difference your grandmother is seeing is partly fueled by adrenaline.

You are an adult and you deserve to be happy. If this man makes you feel that way, then more power to him. Take things slowly, enjoy the relationship, and perhaps with time your family will come around.

DEAR ABBY: My niece has a 1-year-old son. Neither my niece nor the baby's father is religious, and they have chosen not to have the baby baptized. My sister, the baby's grandmother, while not wanting to impose her beliefs on the parents, comes from a generation when even couples who were not demonstrably religious usually had their baby baptized.

I know it would comfort my sister to know this ancient ceremony had been performed. Since my sister watches the little boy at her house, would it be wrong for us to organize an informal baptism -- just holy water and a couple of prayers? We don't feel we need to have an officiant of any religion present and, of course, we would not tell the baby's parents. Would this be appropriate? -- MORTIFIED IN MONTANA

DEAR MORTIFIED: No, it would not. If you were sure that it would be, you wouldn't have written to me about it. My advice is not to do ANYTHING like this behind the parents' backs, because if you do, there will be hell to pay. Consider this: Not all denominations baptize their members as infants.

DEAR ABBY: Please post my message for people to be more considerate and nonjudgmental about their "help." I am a housekeeper by choice. I have office skills, massage therapy skills and many talents, but I have noticed that clients seem to have a preconceived idea of who I am.

I am not someone who is money-driven. I am also not uneducated. I am a person who enjoys helping others, no matter what I may be doing. What I do for a living is not who I am.

I have been treated disrespectfully. People who have housekeepers -- beware. We "might" be doing a sociological study on how people treat the help. Wasn't there a movie about that? Be kind to each other, people! -- THE HELP

DEAR HELP: What you have experienced isn't a problem faced only by housekeepers. It is something that many service industry workers encounter all too often. Perhaps it happens because some people were never taught that inside the uniform is a person with real feelings, and that everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

DEAR ABBY: After a year together, my boyfriend recently proposed. We plan to wed in two years. During this time, he intends to move into my home so we can save for the wedding. My parents, however, are completely against our living together before we get married.

Abby, I'm 30 years old and so is my fiance. I own my own home and my boyfriend currently rents. My parents are very traditional and may not help with the wedding if we move in together. We can't afford to pay for much if we don't do it and save. On top of that, we are excited to start our lives together. Do I honor my parents' wishes or do what I feel is right for me and my fiance? -- ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: You and your fiance are both 30, which means you are well into adulthood. Don't you think it's time for you both to start becoming and thinking like independent adults? By that I mean deciding which is more important to you -- living your lives the way your parents want, or the way you want.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law passed away two years ago from lung cancer. My father-in-law hasn't taken it well. This year at Christmas he fabricated a letter and gifts "from her" for the grandkids, as if she had written the letter and bought the gifts before she passed away. He did it without my knowledge.

I am angry and upset that I was made part of this lie without my consent. I refuse to lie to my daughter about this and plan to throw the letter away. My daughter is 6 and doesn't seem to understand. My husband doesn't think it's that big a deal and doesn't know what he can do about it.

I loved my mother-in-law, but I'm tired of dealing with this. This is not the first strange thing my father-in-law has done. I feel like I get no support from my husband, who won't ever say anything to his dad. Am I right in how I feel? -- DON'T WANT TO LIE IN OHIO

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LIE: Of course you are right. Your father-in-law appears to be grieving deeply for his wife, and he may not be able to work through it without the aid of a grief support group or a therapist.

You should also be aware that a severe emotional shock can sometimes cause the onset of dementia in older adults. If his strange behavior continues, then for his own sake, he may need to be evaluated by his doctor, and your husband would be doing his father no favors to ignore it.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years, we have helped out our daughters as much as we could. One daughter, "Doreen," has needed more help than the others. She has four children who are near and dear to our hearts. They have been living with us the better part of their lives.

Doreen married a guy who is the father of three of the children. (I'll call him John.) He's in trouble with the law constantly and can't hold a job. After we moved them all in with us, John decided he wanted to move back home to his family, so he packed up everyone and left. We told Doreen we could no longer support them financially, and that if they wanted to move away, they would assume that responsibility.

Now she's writing us saying they can't pay the rent and their electricity is being shut off. She wants us to "loan" them money. We refused. Now we can no longer talk to, text, write, Skype or communicate in any way with our grandchildren. The SIL says we lost that privilege. My wife is distraught. Can we fix this? Will our daughter come around? -- DISTRAUGHT IN FLORIDA

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: You cannot fix what's wrong with your daughter and her husband by giving them money, so you were right to refuse. They moved out with the understanding that your financial help would stop. Your daughter is now trying to coerce you into giving them money through emotional blackmail.

For your own sakes, I hope you will not give in to it because if you do, there will be no end to it. As to whether your daughter will come around, it will happen as soon as she needs you because her husband has bailed on her.