DEAR ABBY: My niece has a 1-year-old son. Neither my niece nor the baby's father is religious, and they have chosen not to have the baby baptized. My sister, the baby's grandmother, while not wanting to impose her beliefs on the parents, comes from a generation when even couples who were not demonstrably religious usually had their baby baptized.

I know it would comfort my sister to know this ancient ceremony had been performed. Since my sister watches the little boy at her house, would it be wrong for us to organize an informal baptism -- just holy water and a couple of prayers? We don't feel we need to have an officiant of any religion present and, of course, we would not tell the baby's parents. Would this be appropriate? -- MORTIFIED IN MONTANA

DEAR MORTIFIED: No, it would not. If you were sure that it would be, you wouldn't have written to me about it. My advice is not to do ANYTHING like this behind the parents' backs, because if you do, there will be hell to pay. Consider this: Not all denominations baptize their members as infants.

DEAR ABBY: Please post my message for people to be more considerate and nonjudgmental about their "help." I am a housekeeper by choice. I have office skills, massage therapy skills and many talents, but I have noticed that clients seem to have a preconceived idea of who I am.

I am not someone who is money-driven. I am also not uneducated. I am a person who enjoys helping others, no matter what I may be doing. What I do for a living is not who I am.

I have been treated disrespectfully. People who have housekeepers -- beware. We "might" be doing a sociological study on how people treat the help. Wasn't there a movie about that? Be kind to each other, people! -- THE HELP

DEAR HELP: What you have experienced isn't a problem faced only by housekeepers. It is something that many service industry workers encounter all too often. Perhaps it happens because some people were never taught that inside the uniform is a person with real feelings, and that everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

DEAR ABBY: After a year together, my boyfriend recently proposed. We plan to wed in two years. During this time, he intends to move into my home so we can save for the wedding. My parents, however, are completely against our living together before we get married.

Abby, I'm 30 years old and so is my fiance. I own my own home and my boyfriend currently rents. My parents are very traditional and may not help with the wedding if we move in together. We can't afford to pay for much if we don't do it and save. On top of that, we are excited to start our lives together. Do I honor my parents' wishes or do what I feel is right for me and my fiance? -- ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: You and your fiance are both 30, which means you are well into adulthood. Don't you think it's time for you both to start becoming and thinking like independent adults? By that I mean deciding which is more important to you -- living your lives the way your parents want, or the way you want.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law passed away two years ago from lung cancer. My father-in-law hasn't taken it well. This year at Christmas he fabricated a letter and gifts "from her" for the grandkids, as if she had written the letter and bought the gifts before she passed away. He did it without my knowledge.

I am angry and upset that I was made part of this lie without my consent. I refuse to lie to my daughter about this and plan to throw the letter away. My daughter is 6 and doesn't seem to understand. My husband doesn't think it's that big a deal and doesn't know what he can do about it.

I loved my mother-in-law, but I'm tired of dealing with this. This is not the first strange thing my father-in-law has done. I feel like I get no support from my husband, who won't ever say anything to his dad. Am I right in how I feel? -- DON'T WANT TO LIE IN OHIO

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LIE: Of course you are right. Your father-in-law appears to be grieving deeply for his wife, and he may not be able to work through it without the aid of a grief support group or a therapist.

You should also be aware that a severe emotional shock can sometimes cause the onset of dementia in older adults. If his strange behavior continues, then for his own sake, he may need to be evaluated by his doctor, and your husband would be doing his father no favors to ignore it.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years, we have helped out our daughters as much as we could. One daughter, "Doreen," has needed more help than the others. She has four children who are near and dear to our hearts. They have been living with us the better part of their lives.

Doreen married a guy who is the father of three of the children. (I'll call him John.) He's in trouble with the law constantly and can't hold a job. After we moved them all in with us, John decided he wanted to move back home to his family, so he packed up everyone and left. We told Doreen we could no longer support them financially, and that if they wanted to move away, they would assume that responsibility.

Now she's writing us saying they can't pay the rent and their electricity is being shut off. She wants us to "loan" them money. We refused. Now we can no longer talk to, text, write, Skype or communicate in any way with our grandchildren. The SIL says we lost that privilege. My wife is distraught. Can we fix this? Will our daughter come around? -- DISTRAUGHT IN FLORIDA

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: You cannot fix what's wrong with your daughter and her husband by giving them money, so you were right to refuse. They moved out with the understanding that your financial help would stop. Your daughter is now trying to coerce you into giving them money through emotional blackmail.

For your own sakes, I hope you will not give in to it because if you do, there will be no end to it. As to whether your daughter will come around, it will happen as soon as she needs you because her husband has bailed on her.

DEAR READERS: It's 2017! A new year has arrived, bringing with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today is the day we have an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2017 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY