DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law passed away two years ago from lung cancer. My father-in-law hasn't taken it well. This year at Christmas he fabricated a letter and gifts "from her" for the grandkids, as if she had written the letter and bought the gifts before she passed away. He did it without my knowledge.

I am angry and upset that I was made part of this lie without my consent. I refuse to lie to my daughter about this and plan to throw the letter away. My daughter is 6 and doesn't seem to understand. My husband doesn't think it's that big a deal and doesn't know what he can do about it.

I loved my mother-in-law, but I'm tired of dealing with this. This is not the first strange thing my father-in-law has done. I feel like I get no support from my husband, who won't ever say anything to his dad. Am I right in how I feel? -- DON'T WANT TO LIE IN OHIO

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LIE: Of course you are right. Your father-in-law appears to be grieving deeply for his wife, and he may not be able to work through it without the aid of a grief support group or a therapist.

You should also be aware that a severe emotional shock can sometimes cause the onset of dementia in older adults. If his strange behavior continues, then for his own sake, he may need to be evaluated by his doctor, and your husband would be doing his father no favors to ignore it.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years, we have helped out our daughters as much as we could. One daughter, "Doreen," has needed more help than the others. She has four children who are near and dear to our hearts. They have been living with us the better part of their lives.

Doreen married a guy who is the father of three of the children. (I'll call him John.) He's in trouble with the law constantly and can't hold a job. After we moved them all in with us, John decided he wanted to move back home to his family, so he packed up everyone and left. We told Doreen we could no longer support them financially, and that if they wanted to move away, they would assume that responsibility.

Now she's writing us saying they can't pay the rent and their electricity is being shut off. She wants us to "loan" them money. We refused. Now we can no longer talk to, text, write, Skype or communicate in any way with our grandchildren. The SIL says we lost that privilege. My wife is distraught. Can we fix this? Will our daughter come around? -- DISTRAUGHT IN FLORIDA

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: You cannot fix what's wrong with your daughter and her husband by giving them money, so you were right to refuse. They moved out with the understanding that your financial help would stop. Your daughter is now trying to coerce you into giving them money through emotional blackmail.

For your own sakes, I hope you will not give in to it because if you do, there will be no end to it. As to whether your daughter will come around, it will happen as soon as she needs you because her husband has bailed on her.

DEAR READERS: It's 2017! A new year has arrived, bringing with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today is the day we have an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2017 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old mother of three in the process of divorcing a man I have been with for seven years, during two of which we were married. We have remained civil up to this point, although he is hurt because I'm the one who ended things.

I decided to jump right back into the dating scene. I have been out a couple times, but I haven't really been looking for anything specific. My thinking was "whatever happens, happens."

But two months ago I met a guy at work. He's involved in a bowling league, and he invited me to come watch him one Friday. When I saw him away from the job, I fell in love. We really hit it off! We have a ton in common, I have already been introduced to most of his family (whom I love!) and every time we are together, there is never a dull moment.

With my divorce and all, am I moving too fast? It has only been a short while, but the feelings I have for this man cannot be ignored. -- OVERCOME IN OHIO

DEAR OVERCOME: Yes, all of this is moving too fast. While I'm not advising you to ignore your feelings, I urge you to slow things down. If your relationship with this person is what you think it is, it will stand the test of time. You both have a lot of getting to know each other ahead of you. You have a divorce to get through, with all of the emotions that go with it. This man may be your Prince Charming, but only time will tell for sure.

DEAR ABBY: My father was never very involved in my life. He had a successful career, but gave it up to pursue one he thought would be more enjoyable (movie producer), which meant he has a very unstable income. Our family has struggled with money ever since.

I heard recently that Dad was kicked out of his house, and I have no idea where he is now living. He has been doing drugs and other questionable things that are uncomfortable to hear about or to discuss with him.

I'm applying to colleges now and need money, so I feel obligated to keep in contact with him. That way, I can make him pay for some of the applications since Mom can't do it alone. I don't know what to do. Everyone I ask tells me to cut off contact with him, but I feel trapped. Thoughts? -- TRAPPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TRAPPED: I'm sorry your father has been such a disappointment. But if you expect a drug-using, recently evicted deadbeat to fund any portion of your college education, you are dreaming. You should not feel you can depend upon him for anything.

My thought is that you should find a job ASAP to help you fund your college applications yourself, and make an appointment to talk with a counselor at your high school about this. I'm sure it won't be the first time he or she has heard about a predicament like yours, and perhaps he or she can suggest some scholarships or financial assistance for you. Your local library or the internet would be other good sources for researching what's available and if you qualify.

DEAR READERS: Finally, 2016 is over! Out with the old year, in with the new one. Please accept my heartfelt good wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2017. And, as I caution you every year -- if you are partying tonight, PLEASE be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY