DEAR ABBY: I'm 57 and have been married for 25 years. My husband has retired and is ready for me to do the same. I enjoy my work, and I am delaying my retirement because he wants to move to another state.

Abby, all I can think about is how I will be forced to start all over with a new church, new doctors, new friends, etc. That's incredibly stressful for me, and I don't want to do it. It takes me a while to warm up to people, and I don't do it easily. To me, it would not be an exciting adventure.

I have told him I don't want to do this and why. He responds that if I want to visit my friends I can always "hop on a plane." He said he's tired of the cold and wants to move. All I can think about is having to sell our home, buy another one, learn a new area, make friends, find a new church. I have all of that here. Maybe he should be a snowbird? -- DON'T WANT TO START ANEW

DEAR DON'T WANT: If you and your husband can afford two places, perhaps you should both be snowbirds. It couldn't hurt to rent a place for a few months to see what life would be like in a new community. That's what I recommend to readers who contemplate making a drastic change -- such as relocation -- in their lives. If you do that, you might find that the "natives" are friendly and the community is congenial. However, if that's not the case, it could help you to avoid making a costly mistake.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has been divorced less than a year and is dating again. (She's the one who left the marriage.) However, she keeps many pictures of her ex-husband on her Facebook page. She says he was a big part of her life, and she refuses to take them down. She thinks if a guy can't accept it, then he isn't the right guy. Do you agree that she's sending the wrong message? -- TAKE THE PHOTOS DOWN

DEAR TAKE: Personally, I do. A picture is worth a thousand words, and what it shows those who see hers is that she hasn't emotionally let go of her ex-husband. However, if men date her after looking at her Facebook page and seeing his pictures posted there, it's working for her, and I can't offer a criticism. Because you can't stop her, I suggest you accept it.

DEAR ABBY: It's that time of year when you print your gift ideas for seniors column. When my dad was alive, he, like many others, was on a fixed income. Among his pleasures was watching ballgames and keeping up with current events. So I contacted his cable company and arranged to pay his cable bill for a period of time as a gift. This can be arranged for any increment of time to match the gifter's budget -- from one month to a year. It allowed Dad to enjoy his TV and have some extra spending money that would otherwise have gone to paying the cable bill. -- ROSEMARY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ROSEMARY: You are a good daughter. Thanks for sharing your idea. It's a thoughtful one, and I'm sure my readers will thank you for the suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem and no clue how to solve it. I teach in an international primary school in China, and was approached by the father of one of my students. I had given her a "C" in the class. Her father wanted me to change her grade to an "A." He felt that a "C" was too low a mark, even though I explained it was what she deserved.

While parents complaining about their children's marks is not uncommon, he offered me about $1,000 in local currency if I would change it. When I spoke about it to another teacher who has been here longer, he told me that bribery is very common in Asia. He did not mention whether he had ever accepted "gifts" like this.

What should I do? Accepting and not accepting this "gift" both have consequences. -- TEACHER IN CHINA

DEAR TEACHER: There is tremendous pressure on students in China to excel. What you have described may be common practice there, but that doesn't mean you must do it. If you accept the bribe, you will not only have violated your own principles, but may also make yourself vulnerable to blackmail in the future. Discuss this with the principal or director of the primary school, because if the school turns out incompetent graduates, eventually its reputation will suffer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 18-year-old girl and on my way to Navy boot camp. I'm excited about my enlistment, but I have a few troubling distractions.

The first is my mother, "Dana." I moved in with my dad a year and a half ago, and it has been an amazing, positive change. But any contact I have with Dana or my grandmother screws me up majorly. I become mopey, have a bad attitude, and I'm just an all-around bad person to be around. This upsets my dad and my stepmom, "Ashley," whom I consider to be my true mom, because it affects them and my three sisters.

They say I need to forgive and let go, since obviously I won't get an apology from Dana for how she raised and treated me. What I need is advice on how to forgive and remove her from my life without hurting her feelings or making it worse at home. -- ON MY WAY TO BOOT CAMP

DEAR ON YOUR WAY: It isn't necessary to forgive a toxic parent. What you need to do is distance yourself from her, which will happen soon as you depart for boot camp. If being around Dana depresses you, see her as little as possible and don't feel guilty about it. Do not demand or expect an apology from her and don't offer one, because separating oneself from someone who mistreated you is healthy.

DEAR ABBY: I recently graduated from a prestigious university. I am proud of having graduated from there, and I would like to put a bumper sticker of that university on my car. My father says I shouldn't do it because it will come across as pretentious.

While I understand where he's coming from, my pride for my alma mater is no different than that of many of my high school friends who went to various universities around the country. I'm not sure what to do and would appreciate your opinion. -- PROUD ALUM IN TEXAS

DEAR PROUD ALUM: I'm sure your father means well. However, if you would like to advertise the fact that you graduated from a prestigious university, go ahead and do so. You have earned the right, and no one should criticize you for it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost eight months. We love each other and talk often about marriage, family, etc.

The other night -- just for fun -- I looked online at rings and showed my mom a few I really loved. She quickly dismissed all of them, and started telling me how I need a big stone and that it needs to be expensive. Then she went online and looked herself and was telling me which ones I should be interested in. Mom offered to take me to a jeweler's to find the "perfect" ring.

She has always been a helicopter parent, but now, as my boyfriend and I are becoming more serious, she's going into warp drive. How can I tell her gently to butt out? Also, what's your advice on the ring situation? -- DAUGHTER OF A HELICOPTER MOM

DEAR DAUGHTER: You and your mother are both jumping the gun. "Talking often of marriage, family, etc." is not an engagement. If you allow your mother to involve herself in this, I predict you will never get engaged because your boyfriend -- if he's smart -- will run for the hills. When and if you do decide to tie the knot, the two of you should go to a jeweler together and select something he can afford and you will enjoy wearing. Period.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young woman in my 20s. I have been blessed with a loving family, lots of opportunities and people who care about me. My problem is, I don't feel worthy of any of it.

A lot of the time when I'm around people, I feel like I'm on the outside looking in -- like an intruder. When I join groups and listen, I feel like I'm eavesdropping. When I try to pitch in, I feel like I'm annoying everyone. I try to be like people who other people like, but I feel I fall far short of the mark.

I wish I could change and be less irritating and more interesting, but I don't know how to change my personality, or even if I could. I'm just tired of not feeling worthy enough. I know this feeling isn't rational, but it's here to stay, apparently. What should I do? -- UNWORTHY

DEAR UNWORTHY: There is nothing so defeating to social success than low self-esteem -- feeling undeserving and not good enough. The first thing you should do is stop trying to change yourself to please others because it doesn't work. Then try to pinpoint where these feelings of unworthiness originated. If you can't manage it on your own -- many people can't -- make an appointment to discuss it with a licensed mental health professional. You deserve to feel good about yourself and what you contribute.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, it was considered improper to send a holiday card to a friend or family member who experienced the loss of a child or spouse during the year.

What is correct today? And what about an invitation to a party? -- CAREFUL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAREFUL: If there was a "rule" that people who have suffered a loss should not receive a holiday card, I have never heard of it. One would think that those who are grieving would appreciate knowing they were being remembered.

As to inviting the person to a party -- not everyone grieves in the same way or for the same length of time. Unless religious custom prevents it, if you think the friend or relative might enjoy the event, by all means extend an invitation. The invitee can always refuse if it's too soon.