DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I moved in with him about a year ago. He has a 9-year-old son, "Todd," who stays with us every other week.

Todd is a great kid, but he has a genetic disorder and still often wets his bed. When it happens, he changes his pajamas and then climbs into bed with us. I don't mind, but I have told my boyfriend we need to start the process of his son not getting in bed with us three to four times a week.

Because I know it's going to be a process that is going to take time, I'm trying to get it started now. I really don't want an 11- or 12-year-old sleeping in our bed. How should I get this process started without nagging my boyfriend? -- GREAT KID, BUT ...

DEAR GREAT KID, BUT ...: You have a point. Todd is a little too old to be climbing into bed with the two of you. What needs to be addressed -- with the boy's pediatrician and possibly a urologist -- is the issue of the bedwetting. After that's been resolved, suggest that your boyfriend have a talk with Todd and explain that he's old enough to sleep in his own bed.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single, 55-year-old man. During the last year, I have felt lost. My mother, my last close relative, passed away. My brother and sister died years ago, as did my father. We were a very close family. Now I am an orphan!

When I sell this place, I know I'm going to be devastated. I have been suffering with depression for more than 20 years, but now I seem to have hit bottom. My business is failing. I have a couple of friends, but they have their own families and problems. This is affecting my physical and mental health. How can I get past it? I'm not a religious person. -- ALONE AND SAD

I don't have children and I'm not sure what I need to do. I'm in the process of selling the family home/office where I worked for the last 30 years, but I feel guilty about it. There's so much stuff to sort through -- both business and personal -- that I don't know where to start. I'm overwhelmed and having so many anxiety attacks I can't get the things done that I need to.

DEAR ALONE AND SAD: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. Grief after the death of a loved one is a normal emotion, and you might find comfort by joining a grief support group. This would not only give you a safe place to talk about your feelings, but also help you to feel less isolated.

If you haven't already done so, schedule an appointment with the physician who has been treating your chronic depression (assuming it has been treated) and ask to have your medications reviewed. If you have not received treatment, tell your doctor what has been going on and ask for a referral to a licensed therapist who works with a psychiatrist who can prescribe something appropriate.

And remember that while selling the house/office is closing a chapter in your life, it is also signaling the beginning of a new one. It may give you the renewed energy -- as well as the financial means -- to salvage your business or start one. Please know I wish you a happy future.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of five years has confessed to affairs that resulted in two children. I suspected that something was up when after a year of marriage he seemed distant. Despite our almost 15-year age difference, I never in a million years thought he would do something like this.

A few months ago, he started disappearing again. At first it was a day here and a day there, but then it became weeks. I finally confronted him, and he confessed about the affairs. He claims the mother of the newborn is a prostitute and that it was a "mistake." He wants to be involved in the 3-year-old little girl's life, but not the newborn's. At that point I told him he needed to leave and remove his belongings from the house.

My friends say that legally I can't put him out of a house he owned before we were married. However, he did buy a home during our marriage. (I found that out accidentally.) It's where the 3-year-old lives.

I feel I am entitled to something. I asked him to have the older child's mother move, but he refused. Where does that leave me? With nothing? I don't know what to do. I don't have money for a lawyer and have nowhere to go. Please advise. -- WHAT A MESS IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR WHAT A MESS: Your friends mean well, but you need a more informed source of information than they can offer. Because divorce laws vary from state to state, go online to womenslaw.org and search for "divorce in Pennsylvania." You will find basic information about divorce laws in your state, which I think you will find both interesting and rewarding.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman, twice married. My first marriage was to a woman who hurt me deeply by lying and cheating. I am now married to a man who, even with his faults, is a wonderful husband.

My thing is, I am still strongly attracted to women. I consider myself to be bisexual. When my husband notices that I look at women, I'm honest and tell him what I admire about a particular woman. What I leave out is that I'm turned on by them. He is not open to my actively being bisexual, not even a threesome.

Is it all right for me to fantasize when I'm intimate with him that he's a woman? I know some people fantasize about being with a celebrity or a more attractive mate, but is it all right to fantasize about someone of a different gender? -- FANTASIZING IN NEW YORK

DEAR FANTASIZING: Your bisexuality is part of who you are. You should make clear to your husband that there is nothing "wrong" with being bisexual, and people who are can be and are monogamous. A commitment is a commitment, and you are sticking to yours.

Sexual fantasies are normal. And you're right that many people besides yourself fantasize about others (of both sexes) during sex. Because you don't act on your fantasies, relax and enjoy them, and stop flogging yourself.

DEAR READERS: This month, an interview with my late mother, the founder of Dear Abby, is being featured on a podcast at makinggayhistory.com. Eric Marcus has done a terrific job with this, and I hope you will enjoy it. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: You would be doing millions of women a great service by telling them about Knitted Knockers Support Foundation. It has been tirelessly working at inspiring volunteer knitters and crocheters to provide free soft, light prostheses for breast cancer survivors.

Typically, the traditional prostheses can be hot, heavy, expensive and take quite a while to arrive. Knitted Knockers are made by people who care. Sometimes your request can be filled that very day. All you need to do is ask. These are sent nationwide and all over the world.

I learned about this wonderful organization earlier this year, and I am now the Northern California distribution point. The response we've had from women who receive them is astounding.

Please let breast cancer survivors know about Knitted Knockers at www.KnittedKnockers.org. There they will find an order form to fill out, and we will be happy to mail out one or a pair. They give women confidence and comfort at a time when they can really use it.

If you know a knitter or crocheter, encourage them to join the cause. Knit and crochet patterns and a list of acceptable yarns are on the website. Abby, thanks for passing the word on! -- CLAIRE G. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CLAIRE: I know many women will be glad to know about the service you are offering, and grateful for the knitters and crocheters who devote their time so generously to make recovery easier for breast cancer survivors. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a retired widow and former model. I have dated mostly men my own age and a little older. I was in a sexless (but affectionate) marriage for nearly 30 years, and I have looked forward to a robust sex life with a new love. But I'm finding that men who are intellectually matched to me are no longer interested in making love. If they are interested, they don't seem to want a monogamous relationship. Any hints? -- STARVED FOR AFFECTION

DEAR STARVED: Just this. Widen your dating profile to include younger men, and if you're lucky, you may find someone who is not only your intellectual match but also can perform.

DEAR ABBY: It's Santa here, asking if I could address your readers about a couple of things my helpers at the malls are bringing to my attention.

First and foremost: When you stand in line with your child, and it's finally their turn and they start to cry, scream and tremble, please DON'T force them to sit on Santa's lap. If you do, you are traumatizing your child. Is a picture really worth your child's well-being?

Next, I would discourage new moms from rushing from the hospital with their newborn, 2- or 3-day-old babies. You need to remember how many children sit on Santa's lap. Babies' immune systems are fragile, and Santa's suit can be loaded with germs. Thanks for your time, Abby, and Merry Christmas to all. -- SHOPPING MALL SANTA

DEAR S.M. SANTA: Thank you for your sensible suggestions. Some parents' heads become so full of sugarplums at Christmas that they forget their little ones are too young to associate Santa with the goodies he brings with him. I hope readers will take your message to heart.