DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married man with one problem that doesn't go away. I convinced my wife, "Ellen," to move to Florida so we could be close to my family, but now she doesn't trust them because of an altercation she had with my mother. Ellen says Mom made negative comments about her and lied about it.

My intention was for everyone to come together as a family, but now I feel I must decide whether I can be a part of the family. If I do, my wife feels I am saying it's OK for my family to hurt her. If I don't, I'll feel I'm missing out on spending time with them. Ellen no longer wants anything to do with my family and wants them to apologize. It has been a rough four years being trapped in the middle of this ongoing feud.

My father and I have talked and tried to resolve things to no avail. How can I fix this once and for all? -- TORN UP IN TAMPA

DEAR TORN UP: YOU can't fix it. I don't know what your mom said about your wife, but it must have been a doozy. Your mother might be able to mend fences, if she were willing -- but she doesn't appear to be.

Look at it from your wife's perspective. She sacrificed a comfortable lifestyle so you could forge a closer relationship with your family. It's your job to side with your wife. She has been wronged and made to feel unwelcome. A licensed family counselor may be able to help all of you patch up the damaged relationship, but only if everyone involved agrees to bury the hatchet.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a faithful reader and Navy wife. My husband has been deployed for nearly a year, and I'm lucky he'll be home in time for Christmas. However, not all military spouses will be as fortunate.

I'm writing to ask a favor. Deployments are long and can be challenging. Being separated from your spouse during the holiday season is difficult. I have done many deployments and have experienced this myself. Please remind your readers to think about their military friends and include them in their holiday plans. If they do, I know it will be appreciated. Thanks, Abby. -- PROUD NAVY WIFE IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR PROUD WIFE: I'm glad to help. For many years my mother and I had a program, Operation Dear Abby, in which readers could send messages of support (and gifts) to active duty military members who were away from home during holiday time. Even after it was scaled back from cards and packages to just email messages, more than 35 million of them were sent to our troops.

Sadly, Operation Dear Abby is no longer in existence -- but readers, if you know someone whose family member or spouse is away from home during the holidays serving this country, please see that they are not alone. It would be a lovely way to repay in some small part what their family member is giving to all of us.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 and a freshman in high school. I'm not allowed to date (my mother's rule), but I really like a boy. I think of him all the time. Thankfully, I'm his friend, but he already has a girlfriend.

It hurts me to keep my feelings secret, and that he's happy with another girl. I don't want to ruin his relationship, but it sometimes crosses my mind even though I know it's wrong. Can you please tell me how to deal with this? I want to be his friend, but if I could, I would love to be more than friends. -- FRIEND ZONED

DEAR FRIEND ZONED: I know it isn't easy, but your best bet would be to stand pat and make no announcements for now. Because your mother feels you aren't ready to date, imagine how restrictive she'll become if she knows you may be influencing this boy to break up with his girlfriend.

And furthermore, if word got around your school that you're the kind of girl who would deliberately cause a breakup, your reputation would be trashed. Be patient and bide your time, and the future will take care of itself.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 25 years. We have never had children together, but he has a daughter from a previous marriage. "Bridget" has blessed us with three grandchildren. We get along great, and she has been a wonderful daughter and stepdaughter.

I acknowledge all their birthdays by sending a card and check each year. Bridget always gets her father a gift and card for his birthday. She's also very close to her mother.

My problem is, Bridget has never acknowledged my birthday with a card or even a phone call. She has never asked, "When is your birthday?" when we are discussing birthdays. I once even hinted that mine falls in between two of the grandkids' birthdays.

Am I wrong to feel hurt for never having been acknowledged after 25 years, or should I just let it go? -- SAD STEPMOM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR STEPMOM: After a quarter of a century, I think it's time to let it go. The time to have mentioned it was years ago, and the person who should have said something to Bridget was her father.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter got married recently and we discovered dear friends were left off the guest list. We are so upset I have lost sleep over it. How do we make amends? We would never have hurt them like this deliberately. -- UPSET MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR UPSET MOTHER: If your dear friends live far away, pick up the phone and apologize. If they live close by, arrange to meet for lunch or dinner and offer the apology in person. Weddings are often stressful for those who are planning them. Mistakes like this are regrettable, but not uncommon. If these are true friends, they will understand and forgive the oversight.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 23 years, "Gerald," quit his job to start his own law firm. He told me about it only after he had quit. I have tried to be supportive, but seven months down the line, he has spent all our "rainy day" cash and earned only one paycheck. We have two teenagers, one who will be going to college in a year.

I took a high-paying job a year ago to help pay down our mortgage and fund our son's college expenses. Gerald claimed the bonus money he received when he quit his old job belonged to him to fund the new venture.

He's now saying that seven months is too little time to make any huge decisions, but we are now going to start liquidating our 401(k)s. This is where I draw the line. He needs to get a job. I have worked every year of our marriage and never quit.

I feel like I'm living with a selfish stranger who calls me a "money-hungry stereotypical female" when I ask when he'll get paid. Is it time for me to take off the rose-colored glasses and file for divorce? -- STUCK IN HIS MIDLIFE CRISIS

DEAR STUCK: Your husband should have discussed his career change with you before he quit the law firm. Do NOT allow him to push you into taking money from your 401(k). Because your husband hasn't yet reached retirement age, when he liquidates his, there will be a penalty for early withdrawal. Consult an attorney -- other than your husband -- about what your next steps should be to protect yourself and your children because your spouse does not appear to be making rational decisions.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the letter from "Loving Granddaughter" on July 2, who was asking for ways to prepare for the eventual passing of her grandparents, with whom she is very close.

A way to help her cope with her premature grief would be to take time to sit down with her grandparents and video a personal interview with them. This "Interview With a Loved One" provides an opportunity to capture her favorite stories and memories as told by her grandparents in their own words. She might even hear some surprising new stories as well!

We started doing this with my grandfather when he was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, before he started losing his memory. After he finally succumbed, going back to his interviews was a great way for our family to remember him in the way that he would have wanted to be remembered. -- JESSICA IN MISSOURI

DEAR JESSICA: That's a wonderful suggestion, one that I know will be appreciated by many of my readers. Thank you!

DEAR ABBY: How do I introduce my unmarried daughter's baby daddy? Can't say "husband," and can't say "partner" since gays have claimed that word. So how do you define that new role? -- I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ...

DEAR MEET: When you introduce your grandchild's daddy, use his name and say, "This is 'John,' 'Jessica's' partner." The term is not used exclusively by LGBT people, but by straight couples as well.