DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and the youngest in the family. My dad is cheating on my mom. My mom knows and has even told him she knows he's having an affair. He didn't apologize. His response was that he would still meet the other lady.

For the past few months, Mom has been gathering evidence so she can divorce him. None of my other siblings know. I feel they should, but Mom doesn't want them to.

I am angry at my dad for making Mom suffer so much for so long. Besides his hard work ethic, he has never been the father I wanted to have. He hides money and is quick to anger. Everything negative he does sticks to him. What should I do to help my mom, and should I tell my siblings? -- DAD IS CHEATING

DEAR D.I.C.: You seem to have a great deal of insider knowledge about your parents' marital difficulties, and it appears that has happened because your mother chose to confide in you. That's a heavy burden for one so young to carry, and it wasn't fair to you.

Although you want to help your mother through this, I do not think you are equipped to do more than remain supportive and honor her request not to tell your siblings. She may be handling as much as she can right now without having to deal with more emotional turmoil, and they will find out soon enough.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Jamie," is in college, and has two roommates, one of whom is also her friend. Her friend knows a lot of people in this college town, and has much more of a social life than Jamie. Although Jamie always includes her friend in outings, her friend never returns the favor.

I will be going to stay with them next weekend. Should I say something to her friend, in private, about how hurt my daughter's feelings are? -- HURT FEELINGS

DEAR HURT FEELINGS: No. As much as you might like to run interference for your daughter, remain silent. The person to explain Jamie's feelings to her roommate should be Jamie. Whether they can remain close friends under these circumstances is questionable, but for the next year they will have to coexist as roommates. Do not interfere.

DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my mom to cancer, and my father has offered her engagement ring to me to propose to my longtime girlfriend. The ring used to belong to my grandmother and has a beautiful quality diamond in a yellow gold setting. My girlfriend and I are not fans of yellow gold.

I know Mom would want my girlfriend to have a ring she loves and will cherish. I was told the setting in Mom's ring is badly worn and the stone is at risk of falling out. Would it be wrong to use the stone and have the "perfect" ring made for my future fiancee? I'm not sure about destroying the original ring. Thoughts, Abby? -- NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NERVOUS: I don't think it would be wrong. I do think you should talk to a trusted jeweler and take your guidance from him or her.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up the third of four children. Both my older brothers chose to go into engineering (the field my father is in). I rocked the boat and opted to go into education. All during college and after, my parents continued to tell me I had chosen the wrong career and would never have any money.

Ten years later, I'm still getting constant comments about my career choice and financial status. They make little jabs like, "... but we know you can't afford it," and, "Is this too expensive for you?" which echo at family gatherings to the point that neither my husband nor I want to be there.

We both work hard and, while we might struggle, we never ask for financial assistance. How can I get my family to stop these comments? They're hurtful. -- EDUCATOR IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR EDUCATOR: You are being picked on not only because of your career choice and its salary level, but also the fact that you didn't fall into line as your siblings did and do what your parents wanted.

Much as we might wish to, we cannot dictate the behavior of others. If you have told your family their comments bother you and they persist, you will have to focus on the importance of the field you chose and the contribution to society you are making. And attend those family gatherings less often.

DEAR ABBY: "Lonely Widow in Ft. Myers, Fla." (May 16) asked why friends ignore a woman when she becomes a widow. I experienced the same thing when I was widowed at 50.

There are several reasons why friends drop you when your spouse dies. One is fear of their own mortality. Another is perhaps the husband (or wife) was the social one. Or the women are afraid you are going to steal their husband.

I was hurt at first, but then I realized they were not true friends. I now have new friends who are widowed, divorced or married, and I'm enjoying every minute we share. -- JOY IN NEVADA

DEAR JOY: I am glad for you. Many readers wrote to share their experiences and their thoughts on that letter. Some suggested that friends may not invite the woman because they don't want her to feel like a "third wheel," but advised "Lonely" to speak up and tell them that, indeed, she would like to be included. Others thought people assume a widow is emotionally needy, so they don't want to be involved with her.

Some readers also wondered how often "Lonely" and her husband had invited single women to join them for a meal, weekend outing or evening event while he was still alive. The answer to that question could provide insight.

A majority of those who wrote agreed with me that it's important that "Lonely" cultivate new interests, and along with them, new friends. One reader's church formed a group for widows that includes monthly lunch outings at different restaurants. Another suggested that "Lonely's" senior center friends should start inviting each other out for various entertainment options. She should also be encouraged to meet people in different locations, or even consider moving for a fresh start.

DEAR ABBY: I was "ghosted" by a woman I had been in a long-distance relationship with. It lasted four years until one day she just never responded again.

We are both parents, both 30, so it's hard for me to understand how someone could do this to a person you've had a history with and claim to love. It seems like a child's reaction. I'm finding it hard to move past this, because I have no idea what happened.

I feel blindsided. Could she have been hurt or died? I have no one to contact and no way to know. My question is, how does one go about moving past this, since it wasn't a typical breakup? I would really appreciate your thoughts. -- CAN'T GO FORWARD

DEAR CAN'T GO: What the person did was cowardly, but I'm sorry to say it isn't that unusual these days. What is unusual is that during the four years you were in a relationship, you never met any of her friends or family, and have no idea how to contact her. Are you absolutely sure she is who she claimed to be and not a catfisher?

I agree that for someone to do what she did was childish. It was also brutal, and you may need counseling to help you get over it and learn to trust again.

DEAR ABBY: My question may seem odd, but your advice would be appreciated.

I have family who live in another city and have a medium-sized active dog. I have invited them to visit me in my newly built home, which has soft pine floors throughout. I mentioned to them that I would like to supply dog booties when they visit so their dog's claws -- and the grit that gets caught up between its toes -- would not scratch my brand-new floors. We are a family who has always removed our shoes when we enter a home.

I have tried inviting them numerous times over the past two years, but they always have an excuse why they can't visit. Another family member told me that a comment was made that, "If we have to put booties on our dog and they want a showcase home, then it will be empty of us." Am I being silly and too particular with my request and thereby causing ill feelings within the family? -- DOG BOOTIES IN CANADA

DEAR DOG BOOTIES: Your request is neither picky nor "silly." After paying top dollar for a new floor, I know I certainly wouldn't want somebody's pet scratching it up. A considerate guest would either comply or leave the dog at home. If they prefer not to accept your invitation, LET THEM.

DEAR ABBY: I love to cook for my family. My granddaughter has now become a vegan. It has taken away my enjoyment for the fun meals we used to have. I can no longer cook for her, and it has changed the family dynamics. How can I cope with this without being angry? -- SAD DOWN SOUTH

DEAR SAD: Allow me to offer two suggestions. Either have your granddaughter bring food with her that she can eat, or widen your repertoire by learning to prepare one vegan dish the entire family can enjoy along with her.