DEAR ABBY: I am a 911 dispatcher with some hints for your readers in case they need emergency services and must call 911.

PLEASE pay attention to where you are. The most important information we need is the address of the emergency. If you are on the highway, tell us the Interstate and closest mile marker, as well as your direction of travel. Many people assume that we can trace their number to their location. While that may be true for landline phones, it's not for cellphones. Only the cellphone company can "ping" a phone.

I would also like to caution parents about letting their children play with a deactivated phone. If you want to let them play or practice, first remove the battery. Many calls we receive come from kids playing on a deactivated phone, and we are unable to call those numbers back to verify if there's a legitimate emergency. These calls also tie up emergency lines for people who have a genuine emergency, making them wait longer for their call to be answered.

My last comment is this: If you dial 911 by accident, please tell the dispatcher that it was an accident. We never get angry if someone inadvertently dials us. Our job is to make sure the public is OK. If it was accidental, say so! Otherwise, we must call back to make sure there is not an emergency.

Those of us in this profession do this job not because we are getting rich, but because we want to help people. We are the most important link in getting people the help they need, but we cannot do it without knowing where the emergency is. Thanks for getting the word out! -- DISPATCHER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR DISPATCHER: Thank you for your helpful suggestions. Readers, 911 dispatchers are the critical first contact for people needing help, but they cannot do their job unless they know where the emergency is and that the emergency is genuine. I hope you will take this person's suggestions to heart because they are important.

DEAR ABBY: We have been learning about genetics in my biology class and how you have to get two recessive genes from your parents to have the recessive trait, like red hair. I thought it was cool, so I tried to figure out which traits I got from my parents.

Now I am freaked out because there were several traits I have that I could not have gotten from them! At least one of my parents must have been someone else. I asked my teacher without being specific, and she said I was right. Now I don't know what to do. I wonder if I came from an affair that maybe my dad doesn't know about. Do you think I should ask? -- LEARNED TOO MUCH IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR LEARNED TOO MUCH: Yes, I do. But the people you should talk to are your parents, to get the full history on family traits of relatives from other generations you may not know about.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 26 years passed away unexpectedly at age 46. This was 2 1/2 years ago. I have not yet started dating; however, I finally feel like I'd like to.

I have an old friend from high school whom I have never dated, but I would like to explore the possibility. He lives in another town and we occasionally message on Facebook.

I need to pick up some papers from a former doctor of mine in that town, and I would like to see my friend. Should I ask him to meet me for coffee? Is that what "buddies" do? Or should I ask him to meet me for a beer? Would that let him know I want to sort of have a date? What do I say? -- SHY STARTER

DEAR SHY: Approach it this way: Call or message him that you plan to be in town to collect some documents, and ask if he'd "like to get together and catch up." That can hardly be considered aggressive. If he's interested, he can then ask you if you'd like to meet for coffee or a beer -- or even go all out and share a meal together.

DEAR ABBY: I recently went grocery shopping with my friend "April." She decided she wanted some ice cream, so she grabbed a box of ice cream bars. She then proceeded to open the box right there in the aisle and eat one of them while we continued to shop.

When we got to the checkout, she paid for the ice cream. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to start an argument, but I feel that what she did was not OK. What are your thoughts on this? -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: As long as your friend paid for the ice cream, I see nothing wrong with what she did. What I would find upsetting is if she had eaten something, discarded the wrapper and "forgot" to inform the checker, because that would be theft.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going on a seven-night cruise. There will be a formal and a semi-formal night on the ship. I really want to go, but my husband says it's his vacation, too, and he doesn't want to dress up.

Would it be OK for me to go without him? If not, what can he wear that is not a suit and tie but will be acceptable? Just so you know, he said if he has to go, it will be in a tux T-shirt and his Disney top hat. -- GETTING AWAY IN OHIO

DEAR GETTING AWAY: You and your husband are not joined at the hip. If he prefers not to attend certain events during the cruise, that should be his privilege. However, it's your vacation, too, and you should have the option to observe the dress code and enjoy those evenings if you wish. If a coat and tie are required on the cruise you chose, you both might be happier if you select a more casual ship next time because some are less formal than others.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend doesn't get excited about anything anymore. He walks around the house all day with a gloomy expression. When I ask him about it, he tells me he is bored.

I'm scared he might get bored with me. Our sex life is great, and the relationship seems like it's on firm footing. But I can't shake this feeling he doesn't want to be here anymore.

Sometimes I see him staring out the window as if waiting for something to happen. He talks less and less every day. I'm not sure what's wrong, and I'm really scared for him. -- ALARMED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ALARMED: The behavior you have described could be a sign of depression -- or not. If you want to find out what's going on in your boyfriend's head, summon up the courage to ask him if he is unhappy in your relationship. If he says you aren't the problem, explain that you can see his behavior has changed, and tell him that if he's depressed, he needs to talk about it to a doctor and get a checkup. There might be a medical reason for his boredom and low energy.

DEAR ABBY: What do I do when relatives show up to family gatherings with sick children? We recently hosted a family party in our home. My sister-in-law arrived with an obviously sick child in tow. I am pregnant and have a 2-year-old son. Now my child and I are sick.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. How should I handle this in the future without starting World War III? -- SICK OF GERMS IN ARKANSAS

DEAR SICK OF GERMS: Here's how I'd handle it: I'd talk to all the in-laws. I would explain that my 2-year-old and I caught whatever the child had, and tell them I don't want it to happen again. Then I would add that in the future, I do not want anyone to come over if they or one of their children is sick. That's not an unreasonable request. Because, regrettably, not all children are vaccinated these days, you are lucky you didn't catch something that could have put your unborn child at risk.

DEAR ABBY: My mother died recently. She had lovely embossed stationery with her monogram. Would it be all right for me to use it to acknowledge gifts and notes of sympathy for her death, or should I use my own? -- SANDRA IN SAVANNAH

DEAR SANDRA: It would be better to use your own. To receive an acknowledgment on letterhead bearing the monogram of the deceased might cause a negative reaction. Because the stationery was expensive, consider having it recut so the monogram is removed and using it for your own personal correspondence. That way, it won't be wasted.