DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend doesn't get excited about anything anymore. He walks around the house all day with a gloomy expression. When I ask him about it, he tells me he is bored.

I'm scared he might get bored with me. Our sex life is great, and the relationship seems like it's on firm footing. But I can't shake this feeling he doesn't want to be here anymore.

Sometimes I see him staring out the window as if waiting for something to happen. He talks less and less every day. I'm not sure what's wrong, and I'm really scared for him. -- ALARMED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ALARMED: The behavior you have described could be a sign of depression -- or not. If you want to find out what's going on in your boyfriend's head, summon up the courage to ask him if he is unhappy in your relationship. If he says you aren't the problem, explain that you can see his behavior has changed, and tell him that if he's depressed, he needs to talk about it to a doctor and get a checkup. There might be a medical reason for his boredom and low energy.

DEAR ABBY: What do I do when relatives show up to family gatherings with sick children? We recently hosted a family party in our home. My sister-in-law arrived with an obviously sick child in tow. I am pregnant and have a 2-year-old son. Now my child and I are sick.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. How should I handle this in the future without starting World War III? -- SICK OF GERMS IN ARKANSAS

DEAR SICK OF GERMS: Here's how I'd handle it: I'd talk to all the in-laws. I would explain that my 2-year-old and I caught whatever the child had, and tell them I don't want it to happen again. Then I would add that in the future, I do not want anyone to come over if they or one of their children is sick. That's not an unreasonable request. Because, regrettably, not all children are vaccinated these days, you are lucky you didn't catch something that could have put your unborn child at risk.

DEAR ABBY: My mother died recently. She had lovely embossed stationery with her monogram. Would it be all right for me to use it to acknowledge gifts and notes of sympathy for her death, or should I use my own? -- SANDRA IN SAVANNAH

DEAR SANDRA: It would be better to use your own. To receive an acknowledgment on letterhead bearing the monogram of the deceased might cause a negative reaction. Because the stationery was expensive, consider having it recut so the monogram is removed and using it for your own personal correspondence. That way, it won't be wasted.

DEAR ABBY: I am having to part ways with someone I have known for 15 years. This person has done many good things for me. On the other hand, he has also thrown more insults at me than anyone else in my lifetime. At the snap of a finger, this normally good-hearted person has insulted me, insisted I was wrong (when I wasn't) or dumped cold water on something I was enthusiastic about.

A week ago, I approached him calmly and told him I was uncomfortable with his put-downs. Well, he threw an over-the-top temper tantrum the likes of which I have never seen, accused me of being "weak-kneed" and stomped away. I have finally had it.

I mentioned it to a friend who is a psychologist and he said this person has all the character traits of a raging narcissist. I'm now convinced this person will never change and I cannot understand the pettiness he reverts to. Can you comment? -- BREAKING AWAY IN MIAMI

DEAR BREAKING AWAY: If you feel it is better for you to distance yourself from this "friend," then that's what you should do. He may be a jackass; however, it is unwise to label someone who hasn't been formally diagnosed as having a personality disorder.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago we had a house fire. While insurance put us up in housing, it took a while to find a place. That first month I didn't know if I was coming or going. Dealing with insurance, contractors, family and a job was almost more than I could handle. The last thing I needed to hear was, "What's for dinner?"

If I have one piece of advice to offer to people who want to help friends, it would be, "Give them gift cards from local restaurants." I know how much I hated to speak up and say I needed help, so don't ask, just do if you see something needs to be done.

This idea also works well in lieu of flowers or home-cooked meals when someone dies. We gave a friend several gift cards for area restaurants when her husband died. When out-of-town company came in for the funeral, she said they came in handy for her. -- HOPEFULLY HELPFUL

DEAR HOPEFULLY HELPFUL: People are often at a loss about how to help during a crisis, and this isn't something that usually comes to mind. Your suggestion is a good one. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: Is there a proper way for a man to introduce himself to an attractive woman in a public place like a store or a museum? -- DAN IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR DAN: It's not difficult. If you're in a store, ask for her advice about a product. If you're in a museum, strike up a conversation about an artist or a painting, sculpture, etc. Then introduce yourself and keep talking. If she's receptive, she'll give you her name.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, although we have known each other for almost seven years now. He is sweet, compassionate, always puts me first and is the best friend and romantic partner I could ever wish for.

My question is, is two years too soon to know that I want to spend my life with him? We have discussed getting married and we would both like to, but I have heard countless stories about couples divorcing because they didn't wait long enough before getting married, and I don't want to be one of those people. Please help. -- LOVING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOVING: In many cases, two years is long enough for a couple to meet, know they are compatible, become engaged and marry. Having known this man for a total of seven years, I would like to think that you have had a chance to observe him in many situations and possibly in other relationships. I would hope that you have both dated others and gained some experience.

What concerns me is that you felt the need to write and ask me this question, because it makes me wonder if you are completely convinced that your marriage would last forever. Premarital counseling might put your mind at ease, and that's what I recommend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years. He keeps asking about a tattoo I have on my ankle and making fun of it. The tattoo is small and has my initials, or so I tell him. I think he knows I'm lying. A guy I dated had the same initials and we got matching tattoos, but I have never admitted it to my husband. Am I lying? Should I tell him whose initials those really are? -- INITIALLY CONFUSED

DEAR INITIALLY CONFUSED: Many people today have tattoos, and some of them include the names or initials of former boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses. You should have fessed up at the time you were being married. The problem with lying about something as trivial as this is that it makes one wonder what else you would lie about.

I see several possible solutions: First, tell your husband the truth. The second would be to have the tattoo removed. The third would be to add your married initial to the ones already on your ankle, at which point they WILL be your initials and yours alone -- unless you're still using your maiden name.

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that you often tell people to talk to a spiritual adviser. As an agnostic, I am curious whom you would recommend I speak to. -- RICK IN DENVER

DEAR RICK: In a case like yours, talk to someone who is not personally or emotionally involved with you, such as a licensed counselor.