DEAR ABBY: I've been in a committed relationship for 19 years, and have been married for three years. My husband is wonderful, except he has absolutely no sex drive. And of course, in the true nature of opposition, mine is off the charts.

I have met another man who is in a loveless marriage. He says they don't have intimate relations, and she knows he has had "flings" over the years. He has asked me to be his newest "friend with benefits." He's attractive, employed, and wants only a physical relationship. (I suspect their marriage is tied to his business, but I'm not sure.)

I'm honestly tempted, because I'm lonely in that regard. No marriage is perfect, by any means, but am I biting off more than I can chew even if I get my husband's permission (which he would likely give), and assuming this man is telling the truth about his wife? What to do? -- DESPERATE IN THE NORTH

DEAR DESPERATE: While some open marriages have been known to work if the husband and wife are willing, I hesitate to recommend it. You describe yourself as desperate. You must be desperate to consider becoming someone's latest "fling."

Did your husband's low sex drive exist before your marriage, or is it something new? If it is recent, there may be medical help for his problem -- if he is willing to talk to his doctor about it. Please suggest it before you do anything else.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a new relationship (six months) with a man who treats me like gold. He's kind, affectionate and a great man, except for one thing.

His office building is right next to mine, which is how we met. During work hours I'm extremely busy and don't generally have time to hang out or take breaks. If I do, it may be to run a quick errand or grab a sandwich with a co-worker.

Abby, I have worked here for eight years, and I don't invite anyone to socialize during work hours. He texts me that he's outside my building, or he says he just dropped by to say "hi" or "bye." If he sees me pull in at my office, he will wave me down or jog over to walk me to work.

My professional life has always been separate from my personal life. I need my work hours to myself, and I have told him this numerous times. I have asked him not to come by and explained that my 9-to-5 is for work. He just doesn't get it.

I don't want to end my relationship over this, but I love my job. It is important that I be focused at work. I don't think it's appropriate to be hugging, kissing and embracing in front of my office. We see each other after work every day. Please give me a solution, because I am at my wits' end! -- WANTS TO WORK ALONE

DEAR WANTS TO WORK ALONE: Because you have told this man repeatedly that you aren't comfortable with him dropping by during work hours or engaging in public displays of affection where you can be observed, it's time to "up the ante." The next time it happens, tell him you think he's terrific, but if he can't respect your work ethic and your boundaries, it might jeopardize your relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my boyfriend, "Jake," for two years. We are both 32. Since the beginning, his sister, "Michelle" (who is 26), has never liked me. Jake admits there's no reason for it. He thinks she's just looking out for him because he's had bad relationships in the past.

Michelle makes me very uncomfortable during family events by making rude comments, and she makes a point of excluding me from any event she is hosting. She has told people that I "shoved her" and accuses me of refusing to let her talk to her brother. Neither is true.

I have asked Jake to ask his sister to apologize and make amends, but he insists she'll do it when "hell freezes over." He thinks I should try to make amends even though I have never done anything wrong.

I'm at a loss. I don't think I should apologize for something I've never done. Abby, she has belittled me in any encounter we've had. The rest of the family shrugs and says, "That's just the way she is." Michelle has never liked any of Jake's girlfriends, so this seems to be a pattern for her. I'm afraid it will eventually lead to the end of Jake's and my relationship.

I love him very much, and I wish he could see my side on this. Could you please give me some advice, Abby? -- NOT MY FAULT IN ALBERTA, CANADA

DEAR NOT MY FAULT: Michelle's fixation on her brother isn't normal or healthy. That Jake has been willing to tolerate it and not warn her to knock it off means that as long as you are with him, you will be subjected to her mistreatment. You may love Jake, but as long as he is under the thumb of his jealous and possessive sister, you will continue to be abused and maligned. My advice is to cut your losses.

DEAR ABBY: I am an African-American woman who was in a relationship with a Hispanic man. I am now a single parent of a beautiful 6-month-old son who is my pride and joy.

My biracial son, who looks exactly like me, is very fair-skinned. My problem is, any time I leave the house with him, strangers feel the need to ask me rude questions. I have been asked about my child's father's ethnicity, and asked if I was baby-sitting someone else's child. I'm left flabbergasted and speechless. What should I say the next time a stranger asks about my son's race, which is none of their business? -- COLORBLIND IN TEXAS

DEAR COLORBLIND: It's normal for people to be curious. If I were you, I wouldn't tell them it's none of their business because if you do, you will come across as angry and defensive. When your son is older, it may make him wonder if there is something wrong with his appearance. A better way to handle it would be to matter-of-factly just tell the truth and move on.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law are both in the military. Currently her husband is stationed elsewhere. They have a 6-month-old daughter, and I'm staying with her to help her out for now. I have a gut feeling that she is cheating. Do I have the right to ask her? -- WORRIED MOTHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORRIED: Of course you do -- that's what mothers are for. You also have the right as her mother to point out that if it's true, what the consequences of her fling may be when her husband returns. When you talk to her, try not to come across as judgmental as much as concerned, and be prepared to do a lot of listening, because people don't usually start affairs for no reason.

DEAR ABBY: I'm fairly certain that you have never heard this one before, but I am a slob. It's embarrassing, but it is what it is. I'm working on it, but I'm nearly 70, so major change is unlikely.

I suspect a friend of mine used my hidden key and came into my house to clean for me on my birthday while I was out to dinner with my children. She meant well, but I have asked her repeatedly not to help me. She simply refuses to listen to what she doesn't want to hear. She says she cleans because it's a stress reliever for her, but it just makes me feel more stressed.

Needless to say, I have taken in all of my hidden keys. I am frustrated by her actions and feel violated, not honored. Honestly, I am just embarrassed. I haven't been feeling well for a while, so the house was particularly messy. I suspect she's waiting for me to acknowledge her "thoughtfulness."

Abby, please tell your readers that "helping a friend" is NO HELP if it isn't welcome. I feel what she did was stubborn and selfish since it was what she wanted to do -- not what I wanted. I'm a big girl, and I can ask for help if I want it. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE WEST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I feel for you, but the person who needs to receive that message is the person who has been doing this "for" you over your objections. Are you absolutely sure that it's this friend who's doing it and not some other well-meaning person -- a relative, perhaps? If you are certain, then deliver the message with both barrels.

What concerns me is your statement that you have taken in your extra keys. That means "someone" may have made an extra copy, which would be not only a huge invasion of privacy but also a security problem. If the problem persists, have your locks changed.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it acceptable and appropriate for my daughters to move out? -- WONDERING IN WICHITA

DEAR WONDERING: Many young adults live with their parents today because they are burdened with student loan debt and are unable to find jobs. I think the logical time for them to move out would be when they are able to support themselves.