DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mom who doesn't work. My husband wants me at home, and I'm OK with that, but the problem is, he is now working two jobs and I never see him.

When he gets home, he's so exhausted he can't keep his eyes open. He sleeps only four hours a night. I'm afraid he will crash and burn from overwork and lack of sleep. I also miss him and want to be with him. With no time together, I feel like I'm losing him.

How can I make this work? I don't want to put pressure on him or make him feel bad, but I need him. I told him I'd get a part-time job, but he said he works for the both of us and that was the end of that conversation. I don't want to lose my marriage over this! Do you have any advice that might help? -- LOSING HIM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR LOSING HIM: I don't blame you for being concerned. What your husband is doing isn't healthy for him, for you or for your marriage. It's time to discuss this with him more fully than it appears you have been able to so far.

He seems to be old-fashioned in his views about marriage. Generations ago, husbands were expected to be the sole provider, but economic reality has put an end to that. Today, both spouses work, primarily because they need to.

It may take mediation along with some input from his doctor to make your husband face reality, but he needs to understand that you are worried sick about him, that you're not happy with things as they are and that you are starting your job search.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for almost a year. I have met someone I really like and we have started to date. My roommate, "Eva," encouraged me to meet this man (I'll call him Warren) and get to know him if it would make me happy, so I did. Warren and I have a lot in common. We can talk to each other for hours.

Eva now tells me she doesn't like having Warren at the house because it "reminds her of how alone and single" she is. She says she doesn't want him here even if she isn't home. This is causing problems because my work schedule makes it easier to have him over for coffee so we can talk before I leave for work, or on days off when she's at work and I'm at home.

When I offer to set Eva up on dates, she refuses. She told me she "hates" men and all of them are nothing but liars and cheaters. Please help. I want to help my friend and also to have a good relationship with Warren. I feel happiest when we're together, but I don't want to lose my friend over this. -- TORN IN TWO OUT WEST

DEAR TORN: Because of Eva's aversion to men, continuing to try fixing her up isn't going to work. You didn't mention whose name is on the lease, but if it's Eva's -- and she's not comfortable with Warren coming to visit -- consider moving to a place of your own or in with a roommate who's not jealous.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old who is about to come out as transgender. I was born a male and will be transitioning into a female. My family doesn't know yet, and I have been debating for the past couple of years how to tell them.

My parents divorced when I was 2, and had a rocky relationship until recently. They both are now remarried and living happy lives. Can you please tell me how to tell them that I am a transgender woman? I would love to bring both of them together and talk, just the three of us, but I don't know if that would be the best option. What do I do? -- TRANSGENDER IN ARIZONA

DEAR TRANSGENDER: Regardless of whether your parents have remarried, they are still your mom and dad. If you have something that needs to be discussed with them, you should absolutely bring them together to talk privately about it. It would be the best way to give them the news.

Because you're looking for the words to explain what you're planning to tell them, contact PFLAG for suggestions. It is an organization that has been helping gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals to come out for many years. To contact it, go to pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have an amazing grandmother who has five daughters, one son, and more than 30 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She has been widowed for 10 years. She lives on her own after a short second marriage that ended quickly in divorce. Her only companions now are her dog and her fellow residents in an independent living home for seniors.

Gran is able to drive, but chose not to buy a car, so on my only day off, I feel guilty if I don't take her to the places she needs to go for the week. She says I'm the only one in our large family she can rely on. Most of us live fairly close by, but I'm who she calls for emergencies, to take her to the hospital or simply the grocery store.

I love her and jump to help because I would hate to see anything happen to her. But what can I do, Abby? I feel like I'm having to make up for what others are not doing for their mother and grandmother. -- CARING GRANDDAUGHTER IN KENTUCKY

DEAR GRANDDAUGHTER: Your feelings are accurate; what's happening is unfair to you. I suggest that you discuss this with your parents, aunts, uncle and cousins and see if perhaps each family unit would be willing to help your grandmother with these errands on a rotational basis -- say a week a month. There are so many of you that it wouldn't be onerous.

DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I have a friend who douses herself with perfume. I am extremely allergic to the smell of perfume. The last time she got into my car, I nearly passed out. Without throwing her out of my car, what is the right approach? -- NAUSEATED UP NORTH

DEAR NAUSEATED: The right approach would be to head this friend off at the pass. The next time you know you will be providing the transportation, explain IN ADVANCE how perfume affects you and ask her not to wear any. And if she "forgets," tell her the minute you get a whiff that she'll have to call a taxi.

DEAR ABBY: We used to live in a neighborhood where my 13-year-old daughter's best friend, "Mandy," still lives. They would play together and visit often and are well-suited in maturity and personality. Since we moved, Mandy has been to our new home (five miles away) a dozen times.

The last several times we have invited her to come over, she has been unable to, which I completely understand. People are busy. But recently, I have received no response at all from her mother. (Mandy was invited to my daughter's sleepover, and I was not told whether she was coming or not. She didn't.)

My daughter is heartbroken, but I feel I have done all I can do to offer a chance for them to get together. I have emailed, texted, Facebooked and called and left a message. I emailed the mother asking if I had offended her, or if her daughter no longer wanted to be friends anymore. Mandy's mom indicated there was no offense; they just have been super-busy. (Our daughters email each other several times a week, so I think they still would like to be friends.)

Clearly, I can't force the woman to be more responsive, but how should I handle this? And what should I tell my daughter, who misses her friend so much? -- NOT THAT FAR AWAY

DEAR NOT THAT FAR: Not knowing Mandy's mother, I can't render an opinion about whether she's leveling with you about her schedule. She MAY be super-busy, experiencing family or health problems or simply not want to drive her daughter 10 miles for a play date. As I see it, you have no choice other than to let her know Mandy is always welcome.

Tell your daughter what her mother told you -- that she's extremely busy, and that you are sorry it has limited the time she gets to spend with her friend. At the same time, make a point of getting your daughter involved in new activities, so she can meet other girls and develop new interests so she'll have less time to dwell on missing Mandy.

P.S. Have you offered to take your daughter to Mandy's house so her mother won't have to do all the driving?

DEAR ABBY: My husband of seven years has always placed Wife No. 1 (I'm his second) on a pedestal. He often calls her to drive him to doctors' appointments, take care of his finances -- he even puts some of our bills in her name. He also talks to her about our marital problems and what we do in the bedroom. I feel like second string here.

I'm the mother of his children and I have always stood by him. I even made an extra effort to befriend the ex, only to find out she used it to her advantage to get more buried into our personal lives.

What can I do about this situation? I'm ready to call it quits, but I'm concerned that the two of them will make me out to be a selfish monster for wanting to come first or for leaving. Please help me. -- FED UP IN TEXAS

DEAR FED UP: I'll try. Draw the line and offer your husband the option of seeing a licensed marriage counselor. If he refuses -- and he probably will -- get some counseling without him. While you are there, describe your husband's continued involvement with his ex and discuss whether being unable to tolerate this "marriage of three" means you are "selfish." Frankly, I don't understand how you have tolerated it this long.