DEAR ABBY: We used to live in a neighborhood where my 13-year-old daughter's best friend, "Mandy," still lives. They would play together and visit often and are well-suited in maturity and personality. Since we moved, Mandy has been to our new home (five miles away) a dozen times.

The last several times we have invited her to come over, she has been unable to, which I completely understand. People are busy. But recently, I have received no response at all from her mother. (Mandy was invited to my daughter's sleepover, and I was not told whether she was coming or not. She didn't.)

My daughter is heartbroken, but I feel I have done all I can do to offer a chance for them to get together. I have emailed, texted, Facebooked and called and left a message. I emailed the mother asking if I had offended her, or if her daughter no longer wanted to be friends anymore. Mandy's mom indicated there was no offense; they just have been super-busy. (Our daughters email each other several times a week, so I think they still would like to be friends.)

Clearly, I can't force the woman to be more responsive, but how should I handle this? And what should I tell my daughter, who misses her friend so much? -- NOT THAT FAR AWAY

DEAR NOT THAT FAR: Not knowing Mandy's mother, I can't render an opinion about whether she's leveling with you about her schedule. She MAY be super-busy, experiencing family or health problems or simply not want to drive her daughter 10 miles for a play date. As I see it, you have no choice other than to let her know Mandy is always welcome.

Tell your daughter what her mother told you -- that she's extremely busy, and that you are sorry it has limited the time she gets to spend with her friend. At the same time, make a point of getting your daughter involved in new activities, so she can meet other girls and develop new interests so she'll have less time to dwell on missing Mandy.

P.S. Have you offered to take your daughter to Mandy's house so her mother won't have to do all the driving?

DEAR ABBY: My husband of seven years has always placed Wife No. 1 (I'm his second) on a pedestal. He often calls her to drive him to doctors' appointments, take care of his finances -- he even puts some of our bills in her name. He also talks to her about our marital problems and what we do in the bedroom. I feel like second string here.

I'm the mother of his children and I have always stood by him. I even made an extra effort to befriend the ex, only to find out she used it to her advantage to get more buried into our personal lives.

What can I do about this situation? I'm ready to call it quits, but I'm concerned that the two of them will make me out to be a selfish monster for wanting to come first or for leaving. Please help me. -- FED UP IN TEXAS

DEAR FED UP: I'll try. Draw the line and offer your husband the option of seeing a licensed marriage counselor. If he refuses -- and he probably will -- get some counseling without him. While you are there, describe your husband's continued involvement with his ex and discuss whether being unable to tolerate this "marriage of three" means you are "selfish." Frankly, I don't understand how you have tolerated it this long.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has always been well groomed, with an obsessive interest in her fingernails and toenails. Every three or four days, she spends an hour trimming them.

Recently, I discovered that she has been keeping the nail trimmings. She actually has three large plastic containers full. When I confronted her, she claimed it soothes her to see her "collection." Now she has begun openly displaying them inside a glass table lamp.

I'm afraid she needs professional help. What do you think I should do? -- NAILING IT

DEAR NAILING: Your wife appears to suffer from a form of OCD -- a hoarding disorder. (Are nail clippings the only items she can't let go of?) Overcoming her compulsion may take professional help and possibly medication. Start by discussing this with your doctor. In the meantime, because her display bothers you, ask her to keep the lamp in a less conspicuous place.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I just bought our first home. It's in a very nice neighborhood, and the neighbors seem friendly. There's just one problem. My son, "Abner" -- who will soon be 3 -- goes to bed between 8 and 9 o'clock, and that's when our neighbor decides it's time to mow his grass. Getting Abner to sleep becomes difficult because the man mows right outside our son's window.

Initially, I didn't think it was a big deal because the first time he woke Abner up, my son had gone to bed at an unusually early time for him. But last night it happened when Abner went to bed later than his normal bedtime.

We have talked to our neighbors a few times in general. But since we're new to the neighborhood, I don't want to cause problems. I don't know the man's schedule, but would it be out of line to ask him to mow earlier in the evening? -- BEDTIME IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BEDTIME: Not at all. If you explain the problem, your neighbor may be willing to modify his mowing time. However, if he isn't, then look into the noise ordinances in your community because there may be rules about mowing after -- or before -- a certain hour.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my boss told me she had asked me to do something, but I am 100 percent positive that she didn't. I don't feel like I can contradict her because I'm afraid it would make me look bad. It has happened only once or twice in the last few months, but what should I do if it continues? I don't want my employee reviews to suffer because of it. Please tell me how to handle it. -- AT A LOSS IN FLORIDA

DEAR AT A LOSS: I wish you had revealed more about your relationship with your boss and mentioned how many people work there. Could she be stressed? Or having problems with her memory? Or could you? If there are more employees than just you, did anyone witness your boss ask you to do what she claimed? If not, and this happens again, you may need to talk to her about it because of your concerns about your work performance.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband was a teenager, he had an ongoing affair with his mother's 20-plus-years-older friend "Nicolle." He would call her by a nickname to signal he wanted sex.

Fast-forward three decades. His family, unaware of their illicit and illegal relationship, regularly invites Nicolle to our family functions. They even call her by that pet nickname, unaware of the connotations.

Their affair ended years before I met my husband. But whenever she is around, she follows him like a lost puppy. How do I get over being uncomfortable and angry at her? I know the truth, but she doesn't know I know. And, of course, my husband doesn't want his family to know. What do I do? -- KNOWING TOO MUCH

DEAR KNOWING: Have you spoken to your husband about this? He should talk to Nicolle and say, "My wife knows about us, and she is bothered by it." He should also tell her to stop following him around or decline future invitations to the family gatherings.

DEAR ABBY: One of my dear friends is pregnant with her first child, and she couldn't be more excited. Even though she's only in her second trimester, her "baby bump" is conspicuous, and it seems people (friends, family and complete strangers) can't help but comment that she seems "ready to pop." When they learn she still has many weeks to go, invariably people ask if she's having twins (she's not). Her grandmother went so far as to ask for ultrasound photos to prove she's carrying only one baby.

It has made my friend very self-conscious. Even though she's in perfect health, the comments are really getting to her. Any advice on how to graciously deflect these unwanted comments? -- NO TWINS IN THE TWIN CITIES

DEAR NO TWINS: When someone volunteers that your friend is so big she must be carrying twins, she should say, "Nope! Only one healthy baby in there, according to my gynecologist."

She needs to remember that there is no end to the insensitive personal comments that people make, and that it's important to keep her sense of humor and keep in mind she'll have to hear them only for a few more months.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is in his mid-70s. We live in the Pacific Northwest. When the temperature is warm, my husband walks around the yard with his shirt off. He's not fat, but he's not thin either. He has gray hair on his chest. It looks awful and it's embarrassing. I think it's rude to the neighbor ladies who see him walk around like this. What do you think? -- AN EYEFUL IN WASHINGTON

DEAR EYEFUL: You may think an eyeful is awful, but unless your neighbor ladies complain, I'm advising you not to nag your husband about it. While you may find his gray chest hair unattractive, others may not find it offensive at all, and a man walking shirtless in his own yard is hardly shocking.