DEAR ABBY: This is my second marriage. My first husband died when our daughter was 5 months old. I met my current husband, "Robert," when she was 6. We have a wonderful relationship as a couple and as a family. He's an amazing husband and father. We now have another child who is 7 months old.
I fear I have become a problem for Robert. I'm so attached to him that I don't ever want him to leave. He works from home -- even though he shouldn't -- because I want him to be with me. I end up distracting him and he misses deadlines. His job is almost over because the grant is over, and he's looking for a job. We are both very worried about this.
I know Robert will never complain about my need for his attention. I know he prefers us to be together, but he needs to work and I need to let him. I don't know why I struggle with this. I have never behaved this way. -- CAN'T LET GO
DEAR CAN'T LET GO: I have a hunch that what's going on with you is that you lost your first husband, and you're terrified that if this one isn't with you every minute, something terrible will happen to him, too.
Because this is having a negative impact on his career, it is extremely important that you learn how to manage this insecurity. The quickest way to accomplish it would be to talk this over with a licensed psychotherapist who can give you the insight and the tools you need. Please don't put it off.