DEAR ABBY: I'm an attractive 30-year-old woman just out of a five-year relationship. I am starting to date again, but I have a complication -- I cannot have children. I am wondering when the right time to bring this up with the men I meet would be. After a few dates seems too soon; however, the men usually reveal their desire for a family during this time. What is the rule of thumb here? -- SINGLE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SINGLE: The rule of thumb is: Honesty is the best policy. If someone tells you he wants a family, it would be dishonest not to tell him then that you won't be able to have children. However, if nothing is mentioned before, when you are becoming intimate and the subject of birth control is raised would be a logical time to speak up.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a city. Many of my friends live in the suburbs within commuting distance. Several of them commute daily, and there are many mass transit options running throughout the night. On a few occasions we have planned an outing in the city and, after the tickets are purchased, etc., one of them ("Carla") has casually stated, "I may need to spend the night at your house since it'll be late when we get back."

Abby, Carla knows the schedule of mass transit and knows what we've planned. How do I respond when she invites herself to spend the night? I have the room, but it's still a hassle having someone stay overnight. -- CITY GIRL WITH COUNTRY FRIENDS

DEAR CITY GIRL: Assuming this is becoming a pattern with Carla, the time to bring this up is before you buy the tickets. The words to use are: "I would prefer that you don't stay over because I'm really not comfortable having overnight guests." And if she continues to suggest she wants to stay with you, stop inviting her to nighttime events.

DEAR ABBY: I find that I get asked far too often why I haven't bought a house yet. I'm 42, single and have a master's degree, but like lots of other people I had to go into debt to get it.

I'm not complaining about that. What bugs me is the invasive question I don't feel I should have to answer, usually asked by people whose parents helped them to buy a house. I don't come from a rich family, and it feels like people are flaunting their privilege when they ask me. Duh, I don't have $20,000 for a down payment. But I shouldn't have to say that.

How can I respond to this question while not being rude or actually answering it? Better yet, how do I respond in such a way that people stop asking? -- IN DEBT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN DEBT: This reply should do the trick: "There are many reasons why, and it's complicated. When and if I do decide to buy, I'll let you know."

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I disagree about whether it's all right to hold the door open when the air conditioning is running on high to keep the house cool. She'll hold the door open while standing in the doorway talking to her friends who drive up in a car. In the meantime, I am paying for the AC to run full blast. Please give us some guidance. -- ANONYMOUS MOM IN RALEIGH

DEAR MOM: I'll try. Rather than venture into the physics of how air conditioners work, may I suggest that because your daughter lives with you and you are paying the bills, she should have enough respect for you to do as you ask.

DEAR ABBY: Forty-five years ago I had a mistress. My wife knew about her. Both of our spouses have now passed. I have found her address on the internet, and I'm debating if I should contact her. What do you think? -- UNSURE IN IOWA

DEAR UNSURE: Because you are both now unencumbered, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't. Clearly, you have things in common and a lot of shared history.

DEAR ABBY: We are well into school's summer vacation, filled with days by the pool, trips to the zoo, and plenty of time for kids to goof off around the house. This extended leisure time for the kiddos may be a good time to remind parents to be thoughtful about what they post on social media.

Some basics: When your child accidentally dumps all the sunscreen from your beach bag onto the car floor, you do not have to post a picture of a regretful, crying toddler to prove that "he really did it this time!" When your child falls off her bike and gets a great big scrape on her forearm, you do not have to post a picture of the scrape for the world to see. When your child is running through the backyard sprinkler without clothes on, you do not have to post a picture to let us know.

Abby, please encourage your readers to have a memorable, safe and exciting summer -- but to keep those photos to themselves. -- COMMON SENSE, PLEASE

DEAR C.S.P.: You obviously don't want the children put at risk or shamed. Some people feel a compulsion to record everything a kid does for the world to see because their child is so special and unique. Unfortunately, we seem to have reached a point in our culture that nothing is private anymore. I'll print your suggestion to parents, but while I applaud your wanting to protect their children, it's their job. If the photos bother you, ignore them and keep scrolling.

DEAR ABBY: We are a family of six children. Our elderly mother lives with each of us three to 10 months at a time. Out of the six of us, only one is a homemaker who has the room and ideal setting for her to live comfortably. However, she refuses to have Mom permanently.

The rest of us have jobs that don't allow us to be with her during the day. Yet we all agreed that putting Mom in a nursing home would be out of the question.

If I didn't have to work, I'd take care of her permanently myself. I admit that she can be difficult to live with. She can cut you down, insist you do all kinds of errands and is suspicious about someone taking her money. I don't know what to do. -- ONE OF SIX IN OHIO

DEAR ONE OF SIX: Has your mother always been this way? If so, then perhaps it's time for another family meeting. To expect one sister to shoulder the entire burden of taking in a demanding, suspicious parent is unfair to her.

If there have been changes in your mother's personality, consider having her be neurologically evaluated to see if there is something wrong with her. A geriatric psychiatrist could give you some helpful input regardless of whether she's ill -- and help you all decide upon a workable, permanent living situation for her.

DEAR ABBY: My partner, "Andrew," and I have been together for four years. I'm a high school teacher, and he works for a major department store. Andrew has always wanted to be a flight attendant and now has the opportunity to interview for a position with a regional carrier. If he gets the job, he will have to relocate to the mid-Atlantic.

I want him to follow his dreams and be successful, and I want to support him, but right now I'm not in a position financially to leave my job and go with him. Although I'm a good teacher, there is additional education I need to pursue, and I have worked with my department chair on a five-year plan that includes some study abroad. I hope to teach at a community college in the future, but what if I'm not hired close to where Andrew works? How do I deal with all this? -- MESSED UP MAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MESSED UP MAN: You recognize that some challenges lie ahead for you and Andrew if you are both going to live your dreams and achieve your full potential. You say you have worked out a five-year plan that includes study abroad. In a year or two, it could have been Andrew writing me about the same insecurities you are feeling.

Separation doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship if you are both determined not to let it. You owe it to yourselves to have a little faith, give it a try, and "what will be will be."

DEAR ABBY: Another birthday is coming up for one of my grandchildren and there is absolutely nothing we can think of that she doesn't already have five of. We are simple people but love our grandchildren and would like to get them something original once in a while. Our kids buy them everything they want in every color and style. Our grandkids have clothes they wear once and toys that are still in the packages. Spending time would be a good idea except that they want to be entertained at expensive attractions and are bored with just spending time together.

We want to be part of their lives, but we don't have a clue as to how to do it. Can you help? -- OUT OF IDEAS IN FLORIDA

DEAR OUT OF IDEAS: I'll try. Is there anything that you can MAKE for your grandchildren that cannot be found in a store -- perhaps something from your oven? Many grandchildren have fond memories of Grandma's brownies, chocolate chip cookies, apple cake, etc. If the answer is yes, then bring -- or send -- a package to your grandchildren.

I say this because my grandmother, Rose Phillips, used to have the most wonderful brownies (with powdered sugar on top!) on her kitchen counter when our family would come to visit. If she had sent me a box as a gift, I would have been delighted.

Something like this is a gift that only you can give. It's something special and it won't break the bank.