DEAR ABBY: I recently retired, but I haven't told anyone. I receive widow's benefits, so I'm comfortable financially. I like my privacy, and I'm afraid things will change if I tell people about my retirement. My father is dying of cancer.

My best friend says if I were her sister, she'd be mad at me. My sister lives a mile away and I don't want her dropping in on me. If she knew, she'd include me in everything she does. I feel this is my life and I want to enjoy it alone for the most part. Am I wrong? Am I hurting anyone?

I was widowed 20 years ago and have had no serious relationships since. I'm independent, attractive and have joined a few dating sites, but I'm picky and have not met a man who attracts me. I'm 66, in good health and look younger. Am I being selfish? Do you have any advice for me? -- LONER LADY OUT WEST

DEAR LONER LADY: If your sister has shouldered the responsibility of caring for your dying father by herself, thinking you are too busy working to help, then she would have every reason to be very angry. Even if that's not the case, her feelings will be hurt when she finds out -- and she will -- that you're avoiding her.

If she didn't love you, she wouldn't want to include you in her life. All you need to do is say no to her invitation if the activity isn't your cup of tea. And surely, you can find a tactful way to ask any drop-in visitor to make plans with you ahead of time instead of dropping in.

You say you want to enjoy your life alone for the most part, but you have joined dating sites. In this life, people have to give in order to get. It may be the attitude you're projecting that's keeping you from meeting men on those dating sites. And yes, I think you are selfish.

DEAR ABBY: My son is getting married next year. My future daughter-in-law is demanding that I (mother of the groom) wear a strapless green dress. The bride is also wearing green.

I am over 40 and no longer have a 20-something body, and I'm extremely uncomfortable wearing a dress where all my imperfections hang out and wobble for the world to see. She has informed me that if I don't wear the dress of her choice, I should just stay home.

Everyone I have talked to has told me to pick the style and color dress I prefer. If I show up in a dress that isn't green, I'm pretty sure it will create a scene and I'll be asked to leave.

I don't know what to do! Do I cave and wear what she asked of me, or wear what I want and face the wrath of Bridezilla? -- SEEING GREEN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SEEING GREEN: Your son's fiancee appears to be rude, self-centered and insensitive (to put it mildly). That she would actually force you to choose between an outfit that makes you feel overexposed and not attending your son's wedding is shocking. Does your son know about this, and what does he think about it?

Talk to her once more. Tell her that while you have no objection to wearing something green, you do not intend to wear anything strapless -- and if she really means that if you don't comply you won't be welcome at the wedding, you will not be there. Let's hope it brings her to her senses because if it doesn't, I doubt you'll be seeing much of her and your son anyway.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 13-year-old son, my only child. For the past 10 years I have been living with mounting guilt over the fact that he doesn't have a sibling. It's not because my husband and I haven't tried, we have. But fertility issues took us down an empty road, and adoption discussions were just that -- discussions.

I can't tell you how many times our son has said he wishes he had a sibling. Every time, it's like a knife in my heart and the guilt surges back. I think about the future and how he will have no brother or sister to share life with or lean on when something happens to my husband or me. Although I have always felt blessed to have him, I can't escape these feelings. Sometimes I feel like I have failed him horribly.

It's worth noting that my son is a happy, well-adjusted child. He has good peer relationships in school, is close to me and my husband and has hobbies and friends he enjoys spending time with. My love for him is endless, and I pray that he will forgive me someday for not being able to give him what he has so deserved. -- SAD MOM IN OHIO

DEAR SAD MOM: Take a step back, stop self-flagellating and ask yourself how many times your son may have also asked for a puppy. You say you have raised a happy, well-adjusted son. That's an accomplishment that should fill you with pride. Not being able to give birth to another child is not something you should feel guilty about or need forgiveness for, and neither is refraining from adopting "so your son would have a sibling." Not all siblings have the kind of relationship you fantasize about. While some do, many do not.

Please consider carefully what I have said and search your heart. And if you still think you are guilty of any sin of omission, discuss it with a licensed psychotherapist.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I found out my husband borrowed $3,500 from our savings account and gave it to a female co-worker. When I asked where the money had gone, he lied to me.

It has been more than a year and the co-worker hasn't repaid the money. She comes up with cockamamie excuses, but has plenty of money to buy gifts for her grandkids and new clothes for herself. When I contacted her about it, she called human resources on my husband! He said no one at work likes her and she has a lot of personal problems.

Our marriage has been rocky, and we need this money back. What's really going on here? How do I get her to start paying back the money? I have reached the end of my rope and my husband is no help whatsoever. He gets mad whenever I ask about the money. Some advice, please? -- NEEDS THE MONEY

DEAR NEEDS THE MONEY: Stop asking your husband about the money. It should be clear by now that the woman he gave it to has no intention of repaying it. As to her not being liked at the office, HE must have liked her or he wouldn't have forked over all that dough.

Because your marriage is "rocky," I'm recommending that you seek couples counseling. Perhaps with the help of a mediator your husband will be able to be completely truthful with you. That's essential because good marriages are based on trust.

DEAR ABBY: I am a large, overweight woman. I have been in the process of losing weight for more than five years. I got married three years ago to an amazing guy. He's the sweetest man I have ever met.

Something he said recently really bothers me. He said he thinks I'm fat. While I know I'm fat -- and admit it out loud -- I never thought it was appropriate for your significant other to say it to you.

I am at a loss as to what to do because he is right, but it hurts my feelings that he not only thinks it but says it. I have tried talking to him about how it makes me feel, but he just shrugs his shoulders. He sees nothing wrong with calling me fat. What do you think? -- BIG GIRL IN CHAMPAIGN, ILL.

DEAR BIG GIRL: If you call yourself fat, then it's possible your husband didn't think his doing so would hurt your feelings. Straighten him out. And when you do, tell him what other terms you would prefer he use (i.e., "big and beautiful," "bountiful and bodacious," etc.).

Point out that whether it is a large or small amount, getting weight off is difficult. Also, it's not unusual for people who are hurting to eat more in order to compensate. He married you when you were heavier, so he should be aware not only that you're making progress, but also that you need his support.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 30 and have lived with my boyfriend, "Shane," for two years. We spend lots of time together, our families socialize and we have a good relationship. My problem is Shane's use of social media. He takes a lot of pictures and posts them online while we're together, but I am never in them and he never mentions that I'm there.

Example: We took trips to Las Vegas, New York and Jamaica. He posted dozens of pictures of himself, but none of us together. When we go to nice restaurants, he shoots pictures of the food and solo selfies, but never mentions that I'm there, too. He has female friends I have never met who comment on all his fabulous adventures.

It appears to me that Shane has created an online image as an exciting, jet-setting single guy. But when I say that, he tells me I am being "immature." I am considering ending the relationship because of this. What do you think? -- OUT OF THE PICTURE

DEAR OUT OF THE PICTURE: When a couple has been living together for two years and spends the majority of their time together, their friends usually know they are involved. That Shane has cultivated an image of himself online as fancy-free seems strange to me, too. It may be that he is self-centered, or that he's not as committed to your relationship as you would like him to be.

When you tell a person something bothers you, and that person not only doesn't do something about it but blames you, it's a red flag. But if everything else in the relationship is as fine as you say, it doesn't have to be a deal-breaker. I assume you have a social media presence of your own. I suggest that you fill it with lots of pictures of Shane, the two of you together and the places you're going together.