DEAR ABBY: I am in shock. My grown son, "Ryan," recently told me he was molested by his late father when he was a young boy. I had no idea, but I believe him. Ryan is an only child and has recently started seeing a counselor.
I loved my husband very much and I believed he loved me, but I no longer know what to think or how to feel. If he were still alive, I would most likely leave him. But what do I do with more than 40 years of mostly good memories? When I think about my late husband now, I just feel numb. Please help. -- NOT A CLUE IN INDIANA
DEAR NOT A CLUE: That your son didn't tell you sooner, while you could have intervened, is regrettable. And that he is now seeing a counselor about it is laudable -- you should give him all the love and support you can. I don't blame you for having mixed emotions, but at this point it is too late for you to change anything. Hang onto the good memories and let them comfort you, because you can't change history.