DEAR ABBY: I live in a beautiful apartment in the perfect location and have been here for three years. This past year my neighbors had a second baby. This child cries constantly during all hours of the night and most of the day. I hear the wailing and the parents yelling and slamming doors when they are frustrated.

I thought as the child got a little older it would get better, but it hasn't. He's now 1 1/2 and still crying constantly. I'm stressed out and losing sleep because of the constant commotion.

In the beginning, the parents were tolerant of their child, and I didn't complain because I didn't want to stress them out. Now I feel stuck. Should I complain directly to them, contact the building manager or just make arrangements to move?

I feel like a terrible person to complain. We must give young children and parents some leeway, but this isn't their first child, and I worry that something more is going on. I love this place, but I cannot continue like this! Please help me. I'm losing my sanity and goodwill toward children. -- LOSING MY SANITY

DEAR LOSING: It's possible that something is wrong with the child. Talk to the building manager, explain the problem, and say that a year and a half of the racket is enough. You may learn that you are not the only tenant bothered by the constant crying and door-slamming.

If the problem can't be corrected, contact a lawyer and check to see if you have grounds to break your lease and get out of there. You have a right to the quiet enjoyment of your home. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: Recently the news has been filled with stories of tragedy and heartache. So many innocent lives have been taken that it has proven to be challenging to process. Although I haven't personally known anyone affected in these events, I feel the weight of grief on my heart.

I know I'm not the only person who is confused about how to manage their emotions after national tragedies. Do you have any suggestions as to what to do during times like these? -- WANTING TO HEAL IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WANTING: Yes. But first, let me suggest what NOT to do. Do not remain glued to your television or computer screen taking in every graphic detail that invariably follows the announcement. Ration the input, and the "poison" will affect you less.

Talk about your feelings with friends and/or family rather than bottling them up and letting them fester. And if it will make you feel less helpless, donate some money to the families who have been affected by these tragedies to help with funeral or other unexpected expenses. While it won't fix their heartache -- or yours -- it will let them know that others care.

If it won't depress you further, participate in community rallies, vigils or other organized events to show support. This, too, can help.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 6-year-old son who is a very compassionate child. My husband's mother lives with us and recently went through an illness from which she recovered. Twice my son tried to give her a necklace he had made from braided yarn to cheer her up. Abby, she not only refused to accept them, but left them on the floor as if she didn't even want to touch them. She has no reason to dislike my son, but she just cannot appreciate the love he was demonstrating.

As Grandma is not likely to change, I wonder how to help him understand that his sweet but childish gifts are just not valuable to some people. If I say nothing, I am concerned it will hurt him more in the long run.

Personally, I love the pictures and letters and gifts he makes for me, and so does my mother, who lives far away. It makes me ache to see his compassionate gifts rejected to his face by a family member he loves. Your thoughts? -- SENSITIVE MOM OF A SENSITIVE BOY

DEAR SENSITIVE MOM: I can only imagine how your son felt when his grandmother rejected his gifts. It appears your mother-in-law is one of those who dwells more on the price of things than on their value.

If your son was disappointed by the woman's reaction, he needs to know that "not everyone appreciates creative art." But assure him that you and your mother definitely do, and that they are not only welcomed, but also treasured.

DEAR ABBY: I have a horrible fear of death, not just my own but especially something happening to my toddler. It stresses me so badly that I have not been away from her for more than two hours in her three years. I'm terrified that something will happen and I won't be there to help her. Because I've done this, she will not let me leave the room, let alone the house. Her daddy gets upset that she cries to be with me.

I lost my friend and both of my parents within a year, and my daughter was born between the deaths of Mom and Dad. Also, I had cancer as a young adult. I don't know if this has contributed to my feelings, but I know I'm making myself crazy, and I don't know how to deal with these thoughts and fears.

I won't leave my child with anyone for fear that they won't protect her like I can. How do I get over this so we can get out and function like a normal family? -- PARALYZED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR PARALYZED: While it's normal for a young child to be dependent upon his or her mother, children also need to know they can trust and depend upon their father to meet their needs. Your daughter has been deprived of this.

Because in addition to having survived a life-threatening illness you have experienced so much loss, you may need the help of a licensed psychotherapist to get over your fear. Your physician or your health insurance provider can refer you to one.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine went out to dinner, and the waitress's fingernails were filthy. She wanted to complain to the manager, but didn't. How should someone deal with a situation like this? -- LAURIE IN NEW YORK

DEAR LAURIE: The appropriate solution would be to bring it to the attention of the manager of the restaurant, because what your friend described could be a health code violation.

DEAR ABBY: I'm confused about what to do and need help. I've been married for two years and I love my husband, but he is in the military and I have big dreams.

The fact that he is military means where he goes, I go. There's no moving to where I want. My dream is to go to Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, but it's a two-year program. If I follow my dream and career, it would mean two years completely apart because, with culinary school, there are no summer breaks.

My husband says I can follow that dream, but I know it would place a HUGE strain on our marriage. Please help me. I don't know what to do. -- DREAMING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DREAMING: If your husband were deployed to a war zone for two years, there would be a long separation. While it might strain the marriage, the separation would not necessarily destroy it.

A degree from Le Cordon Bleu will enhance your career path in the future, which would benefit both of you. There's no reward without some risk, but if you do not pursue your dream, you may resent your husband in the future. He says you have his blessing to follow your dream, so do it!

DEAR ABBY: I am a gifted, introverted, Christian 13-year-old female with a strong sense of right and wrong. I disagree with some things my parents condemn as sinful.

I want to support gay rights and animal rights. My mother, in particular, takes the Bible literally, while I am more open. I want to take action to support these causes I know are right, but I'm afraid she will be angry.

I love my mother so much, Abby, and this makes me so sad. Please help me. -- MS. KITTY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MS. KITTY: Please don't be sad. Instead, be patient. There is no way to change the thinking of someone who takes the Bible -- or any holy book, for that matter -- literally. Do what you can now, but you may have to wait until you are older and on your own to become fully active in the causes you feel are important.

DEAR ABBY: I have developed a medical condition that requires me to wear adult diapers. That's hard enough for me, but why, when you get to the checkout, do they ask, "Do you want a bag for this?" Of course I do! I really don't want to flaunt the fact I wear a diaper all through the parking lot. I am neither young nor ancient -- somewhere in between -- and I never thought I'd ever use this product before age 80. -- HARD FOR ME

DEAR HARD: Whether a customer would like a bag for his or her purchases is a question that baggers ask hundreds of times a day, to the point that it becomes automatic. The way to deal with this potentially embarrassing encounter would be to provide your own carryout bags when buying adult diapers. Many shoppers use them as a way to protect the environment. Alternatively, consider ordering the diapers online.