DEAR ABBY: I have a 6-year-old son who is a very compassionate child. My husband's mother lives with us and recently went through an illness from which she recovered. Twice my son tried to give her a necklace he had made from braided yarn to cheer her up. Abby, she not only refused to accept them, but left them on the floor as if she didn't even want to touch them. She has no reason to dislike my son, but she just cannot appreciate the love he was demonstrating.

As Grandma is not likely to change, I wonder how to help him understand that his sweet but childish gifts are just not valuable to some people. If I say nothing, I am concerned it will hurt him more in the long run.

Personally, I love the pictures and letters and gifts he makes for me, and so does my mother, who lives far away. It makes me ache to see his compassionate gifts rejected to his face by a family member he loves. Your thoughts? -- SENSITIVE MOM OF A SENSITIVE BOY

DEAR SENSITIVE MOM: I can only imagine how your son felt when his grandmother rejected his gifts. It appears your mother-in-law is one of those who dwells more on the price of things than on their value.

If your son was disappointed by the woman's reaction, he needs to know that "not everyone appreciates creative art." But assure him that you and your mother definitely do, and that they are not only welcomed, but also treasured.

DEAR ABBY: I have a horrible fear of death, not just my own but especially something happening to my toddler. It stresses me so badly that I have not been away from her for more than two hours in her three years. I'm terrified that something will happen and I won't be there to help her. Because I've done this, she will not let me leave the room, let alone the house. Her daddy gets upset that she cries to be with me.

I lost my friend and both of my parents within a year, and my daughter was born between the deaths of Mom and Dad. Also, I had cancer as a young adult. I don't know if this has contributed to my feelings, but I know I'm making myself crazy, and I don't know how to deal with these thoughts and fears.

I won't leave my child with anyone for fear that they won't protect her like I can. How do I get over this so we can get out and function like a normal family? -- PARALYZED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR PARALYZED: While it's normal for a young child to be dependent upon his or her mother, children also need to know they can trust and depend upon their father to meet their needs. Your daughter has been deprived of this.

Because in addition to having survived a life-threatening illness you have experienced so much loss, you may need the help of a licensed psychotherapist to get over your fear. Your physician or your health insurance provider can refer you to one.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine went out to dinner, and the waitress's fingernails were filthy. She wanted to complain to the manager, but didn't. How should someone deal with a situation like this? -- LAURIE IN NEW YORK

DEAR LAURIE: The appropriate solution would be to bring it to the attention of the manager of the restaurant, because what your friend described could be a health code violation.

DEAR ABBY: I'm confused about what to do and need help. I've been married for two years and I love my husband, but he is in the military and I have big dreams.

The fact that he is military means where he goes, I go. There's no moving to where I want. My dream is to go to Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, but it's a two-year program. If I follow my dream and career, it would mean two years completely apart because, with culinary school, there are no summer breaks.

My husband says I can follow that dream, but I know it would place a HUGE strain on our marriage. Please help me. I don't know what to do. -- DREAMING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DREAMING: If your husband were deployed to a war zone for two years, there would be a long separation. While it might strain the marriage, the separation would not necessarily destroy it.

A degree from Le Cordon Bleu will enhance your career path in the future, which would benefit both of you. There's no reward without some risk, but if you do not pursue your dream, you may resent your husband in the future. He says you have his blessing to follow your dream, so do it!

DEAR ABBY: I am a gifted, introverted, Christian 13-year-old female with a strong sense of right and wrong. I disagree with some things my parents condemn as sinful.

I want to support gay rights and animal rights. My mother, in particular, takes the Bible literally, while I am more open. I want to take action to support these causes I know are right, but I'm afraid she will be angry.

I love my mother so much, Abby, and this makes me so sad. Please help me. -- MS. KITTY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MS. KITTY: Please don't be sad. Instead, be patient. There is no way to change the thinking of someone who takes the Bible -- or any holy book, for that matter -- literally. Do what you can now, but you may have to wait until you are older and on your own to become fully active in the causes you feel are important.

DEAR ABBY: I have developed a medical condition that requires me to wear adult diapers. That's hard enough for me, but why, when you get to the checkout, do they ask, "Do you want a bag for this?" Of course I do! I really don't want to flaunt the fact I wear a diaper all through the parking lot. I am neither young nor ancient -- somewhere in between -- and I never thought I'd ever use this product before age 80. -- HARD FOR ME

DEAR HARD: Whether a customer would like a bag for his or her purchases is a question that baggers ask hundreds of times a day, to the point that it becomes automatic. The way to deal with this potentially embarrassing encounter would be to provide your own carryout bags when buying adult diapers. Many shoppers use them as a way to protect the environment. Alternatively, consider ordering the diapers online.

DEAR ABBY: On a recent trip out of state, my husband became ill. The hotel we stayed in referred us to a nearby urgent care walk-in clinic.

The nurse took his blood pressure, which was very high. The "doctor" never took his temperature or mentioned the high blood pressure to us. He prescribed six drugs and we went on our way. My husband was happy; I was not.

When we returned home, I looked up the doctor's name on the internet. Actually, he was a physician's assistant, not a medical doctor. Abby, what should people do if they become sick while traveling? -- TRAVELING MEDICAL EMERGENCY

DEAR T.M.E.: You have asked an excellent question, one that may help many other people.

It is always wise when you travel to bring along a list of any medications you're taking and a copy of your medical records. Medical records are online these days and can be emailed to you upon request. A lot of health insurance companies offer a 24-hour service to call for a referral to a physician in whatever locale you happen to be.

Physician assistants are standard in many areas of the country as long as they are supervised by a physician -- and in your husband's case, there should have been an M.D. on the premises. You, as the consumer, have a right to ask questions. It would not have been out of line to inquire about the certification of the person who was treating your husband, or to ask to see the supervising M.D.

If the medical emergency is dire, take no chances and call 911. If someone is really sick (having chest pains, muscle weakness, trouble speaking), an emergency room is better than an urgent care because more expertise and testing are available onsite.

DEAR ABBY: We are a married male couple. It is always awkward to use the word "husband" when I'm referring to or asked about my spouse, because heterosexuals seem to think that if I have a "husband," then that makes me a "wife." Nope!

I have started using "husband" and not "partner" because we are legally married and have been together for 18 years. Lesbians seem to have no trouble using "wife" when referring to each other. Why then does there seem to be a problem with male couples using "husband and husband" without it seeming awkward for heterosexuals?

I have experienced this problem many times, and so have other male couples we know. Is there another term that's better than "husband"? -- PERPLEXED IN PHOENIX

DEAR PERPLEXED: You could use the word "spouse," but using the word "husband" is preferable. ("Partner" may be appropriate, but in my opinion, it does not accurately describe your status as a married person.) People may be jolted to hear married male couples refer to each other as husband because same-sex marriage is still new in many areas of the country.

Personally, I think you should use the word "husband" and be confident in doing so. The more you do, the greater the opportunity for the larger population to become accustomed to hearing it used.