DEAR ABBY: I have fought obesity all of my adult life, and my weight has yo-yoed over the years. My problem is, when I go to the doctor's office and I am taken to the exam area, the scale is right out in the open where other patients come and go as well as all the office personnel.

Mind you, I don't care if I am weighed in the presence of people walking around -- if they don't peek. However, when the medical assistant is done weighing me, she reads the scale out loud. I have felt humiliated when other patients are walking past. I have put up with this for years.

Recently, this medical assistant weighed me and I just knew she was going to "announce" my weight. This time there was a man I could tell was a patient, standing nearby at the reception window staring intently at me getting weighed. Because I was sure the M.A. was going to say it out loud, I started to cough to try to muffle the sound of her voice. It worked, but then she acted irritated because of my coughing, so she repeated it loudly. I was very embarrassed, to say the least. When the doctor saw me, I was afraid to say anything as I didn't want to get anybody in trouble.

I graduated from a medical assistant school many years ago and I remember the registered nurse who was our instructor taught us to never say out loud somebody's weight when you weigh him or her. It only makes common sense. I no longer want to go back to that doctor's office.

Do you have any advice for me when this happens again? I say again because it happens at other doctor's offices I visit as well. I am at a loss here. I would appreciate your input. -- STILL STINGING IN NEVADA

DEAR STILL STINGING: The first time it happened, you should have quietly mentioned to the medical assistant that she embarrassed you, and asked her please not to do it again. When it happened a second time, you should have spoken to the doctor about it. You are far from the only person who is sensitive about weight. If I were that physician, I'd certainly want to know why patients were disappearing from my practice. Wouldn't you?

DEAR ABBY: I do a lot of home canning, and last year our farm was very profitable. I canned more than 300 jars of jellies, juices, apple sauce and soups. I gave many of these away as gifts.

My dilemma is, most of the time no one gives me the jars back. Canning jars are the most expensive part of canning. Would you please help me get the word out to return the jars when they are empty? -- DEBBIE IN DERBY, N.Y.

DEAR DEBBIE: I'm glad to put out the word. But don't you think it would be more effective if you simply asked that the jars be returned if the recipients want to continue receiving these generous gifts from you? Attaching a "Please return to (blank)" label might help.

DEAR ABBY: I met "Edward" at work six years ago. We were instantly attracted to each other and soon began an affair. We are both married to others.

I never thought I could stray outside my marriage, even though my marriage has been very lonely. I love Edward more than I ever thought possible, but even though he has strong feelings for me, he says he will never file for divorce from his wife.

We are still involved, but I am heartbroken that he doesn't want me enough to leave her. He has never said that he loves his wife, just that he doesn't believe in divorce. I have never felt such a strong connection with anyone, ever!

My head tells me to forget him, but my heart won't allow it. I am so sad and depressed that I can't function some days. How can I move past this man and regain my self-worth? -- NEED TO MOVE FORWARD

DEAR NEED TO MOVE FORWARD: You wrote that your lover has never said he loves his wife. You think he has strong feelings for you, but has he ever defined them as "love"? Has it occurred to you that what he "loves" may be his financial net worth, and THAT is the reason he will never divorce his wife?

I don't blame you for feeling sad and depressed. If I were you, I'd feel sad and depressed too. You have violated your own principles and are in a relationship that, much as you might wish it, will never bring you the validation you're looking for. When you start liking yourself again, you may find that you need him less. And that is when you'll end this affair and reconnect with your sense of self-worth, because as it stands, you cannot have both.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter came home for spring break from college with troubling news. She has been sexually harassed by a very large and aggressive lesbian in her dorm this year. When the girl first came on to her, my daughter told her NO. Later, on two separate occasions, the girl pushed her to the floor and groped her in the lobby of the dorm.

My daughter was afraid to fight the girl because she's small. She was also afraid to report it -- I guess she thought it was an isolated incident.

Recently she found out that the girl has done the same thing to several other girls. They all went to the Title IX people on campus to file a complaint, but were told they won't get any answers until late summer, which is after school is out.

Is this kind of harassment common in our schools? Should she take it to the campus police or city police? Our daughter really likes her college, but she shouldn't have to put up with this. -- TROUBLING NEWS

DEAR TROUBLING NEWS: I agree that your daughter -- and the other girls -- should not have to put up with being assaulted. I wish you had revealed a little bit more about what happened when the assaults were reported. Was the aggressor counseled? Warned to stay away from the girls she had harassed? Removed from the dorm?

If nothing was done, before informing the police, I'm advising you to discuss this with a lawyer because a school that would ignore what happened may be liable.

DEAR ABBY: I'm happily married to the man of my dreams. We met after I had gone through a particularly difficult breakup, and I often credit him with "saving" me. We've been together 15 years and have two beautiful children.

While we both have professional careers, I also write romance novels as a hobby and side business. With every book authors write, a tiny part of their lives sneaks into their characters, storyline, etc. When my husband reads my novels -- as he does often -- he becomes sullen, withdrawn and angry. He can't seem to understand that 99 percent of what I've written is fiction. He's convinced that everything I write is somehow linked to an old boyfriend or actual events.

This is causing hurt feelings and resentment from both of us. Should I give up writing, or should he learn to deal with it? -- HAPPILY EVER AFTER

DEAR HAPPILY EVER AFTER: It's a fact that talented writers have active fantasy lives. Authors who come to mind would be Mary Shelley, who created "Frankenstein," Anne Rice and her vampires, E.L. James, who shared her S and M fantasies with the world -- and countless male authors including John le Carre, Daniel Defoe and William Shakespeare. (Obviously, Ian Fleming did not do everything that his character, James Bond, did.)

Ideally, your husband -- the man of your dreams -- should be able to tell you if something bothers him without sulking. And if he trusts you, he should be able to accept that what you are writing is fiction. If that's not the case, rather than your giving up writing, your husband should quit reading your books.

DEAR ABBY: My son chose his cousin, "Tim," as best man for his wedding. Tim gave a speech about how my son was like a little brother to him and mentioned some of the pranks he would play on my son. It was extremely funny, but the reality is that the pranks were quite cruel.

My nephew got very drunk at the wedding, and while my son was dancing with his new bride, a final prank was pulled. Tim approached my son from behind and gave him a huge "wedgie," which tore my son's expensive wedding pants apart. My son was very angry. His new bride appeared shocked, and it was a terrible ending to an otherwise beautiful wedding.

My sister promised me that Tim would "make it right." It's now four weeks later, and I have learned that my son immediately apologized to his cousin for his reaction (which was understandable). Tim did not apologize and has not accepted any accountability. I thought perhaps his wedding gift would cover the cost of the pants, but my son says it was less than the cost of the thank-you gift my son and his wife gave my nephew.

My sister and her son are frugal, and she now says that her son needs to save his money. Any suggestions other than Judge Judy? -- WEDDING WEDGIE

DEAR W.W.: Only this: In the interest of family harmony, step back and stay out of it. Your nephew appears to have poor judgment, but how your son and his bride choose to handle what happened is their problem, not yours.