DEAR ABBY: I met "Edward" at work six years ago. We were instantly attracted to each other and soon began an affair. We are both married to others.
I never thought I could stray outside my marriage, even though my marriage has been very lonely. I love Edward more than I ever thought possible, but even though he has strong feelings for me, he says he will never file for divorce from his wife.
We are still involved, but I am heartbroken that he doesn't want me enough to leave her. He has never said that he loves his wife, just that he doesn't believe in divorce. I have never felt such a strong connection with anyone, ever!
My head tells me to forget him, but my heart won't allow it. I am so sad and depressed that I can't function some days. How can I move past this man and regain my self-worth? -- NEED TO MOVE FORWARD
DEAR NEED TO MOVE FORWARD: You wrote that your lover has never said he loves his wife. You think he has strong feelings for you, but has he ever defined them as "love"? Has it occurred to you that what he "loves" may be his financial net worth, and THAT is the reason he will never divorce his wife?
I don't blame you for feeling sad and depressed. If I were you, I'd feel sad and depressed too. You have violated your own principles and are in a relationship that, much as you might wish it, will never bring you the validation you're looking for. When you start liking yourself again, you may find that you need him less. And that is when you'll end this affair and reconnect with your sense of self-worth, because as it stands, you cannot have both.