DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a 22-year-old son who has moved back home due to his relocating. His girlfriend of six months has done some suspicious and devious things. We have tried to overlook them, but the latest involves a car our son asked us to sell her because she was in a bind because of some stupid financial decisions she had made.

We felt sorry for her, so we sold her the car for LESS than half of what we could have gotten on a trade-in since we were going to purchase a newer car. Now, one month later, she has taken the car and traded it in on a different one, no doubt gaining the extra equity. I'm angry to the point that I no longer want her in my house. Are we wrong to feel taken advantage of?

I would add that we have always tried to help our only son as much as we can. The result has been that we have been taken advantage of or not treated the way we think a son should treat parents who are not exactly well off. Please don't reject this letter as your advice is really needed. -- STEAMED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STEAMED: It appears your only son and his girlfriend may be birds of a feather. Both have taken advantage of your kindness and generosity in one way or another, and you have every right to be upset about it.

While you can't do anything about the past, that doesn't mean you can't open your eyes and watch out for yourselves in the future. If your son is planning to move the girlfriend in with you, put a stop to it now. If you don't, I predict you'll be taken advantage of as long as they're under your roof and until they move out -- which may not be for the foreseeable future.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about something you don't hear much about anymore. Do people still have mortgage-burning parties? If I had a party, do you think guests would feel like I was bragging because I have paid off my home and they haven't? Any advice would be great! -- JUST HAPPY IN MARYLAND

DEAR JUST HAPPY: Congratulations for having paid off your mortgage. However, unless your guest list is short and includes only people you are very close to, I'm not sure it would be appropriate to throw the kind of party you describe for exactly the reason you mentioned.

DEAR ABBY: My family doesn't seem to approve of my taste in who I date. I prefer to go with older guys, but I'm 14. My parents actually reported my last boyfriend to the police when they found out his real age. I am now with another guy in high school who respects me, but my parents don't approve of him either. What should I do? -- CONFUSED IN MISSOURI

DEAR CONFUSED: Start concentrating on school, sports and group activities. In other words, wait to date until your parents agree you are old enough and you can find someone of whom they approve.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing about your answer to "An International Educator" (Dec. 27), who asked about translators at parent-teacher conferences. Your answer was only partially correct.

I am a professional interpreter and translator. First I should note that translators do written work; interpreters speak aloud. Different skills are involved, which is why there are different terms.

Second, during interpretation, the interpreter is not considered to be part of the conversation, just a "conduit" through which communication takes place. Persons being interpreted for do not need to look at the interpreter while facilitating their communication.

A professional interpreter will interpret everything that is said; for example, they will not leave out curse words or "filter" or embellish anything. They also try to approximate the same voice tone.

I should also note that professional interpreters are bound by privacy codes much like doctors and nurses. We are not allowed to divulge any information we have learned from our interpretation jobs. Another thing to realize is that a professional interpreter (or translator) will be completely neutral, regardless of who hired him/her or with which party he/she enters the room.

If someone is using a non-professional interpreter, a person who just happens to know both languages but has not had the training to be an interpreter, he/she may not adhere to these privacy or conduct codes, and their interpretations may not be of the best quality. Just knowing two languages does not guarantee that someone is capable of doing accurate interpretations (the same goes for translations). -- ONE WHO KNOWS IN KANSAS

DEAR O.W.K.: Thank you for clarifying the difference between the two terms. You were one of many readers who wrote to explain it, and I'm glad you did.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell your readers that even though gay people are more integrated into our lives, it does not provide an open invitation to pry into anyone's sexual practices. I have been asked many times about the physical mechanics of my relationship, although I would never consider requesting such information from my heterosexual friends, neighbors or co-workers.

I think the bottom line should be: Keep your noses out of your friends' bedrooms and everything will be just fine. I am a gay 49-year-old man in Texas and honestly would never dream of asking any couple -- straight or gay -- what they do when they are alone. It bothers me that some people think being accepted means I welcome these kinds of questions. -- MYOB IN AUSTIN

DEAR MYOB: There is no end to the nosy and intrusive questions people with poor judgment will ask. However, there is a standard response that may resolve your problem if you say it with a smile. It's, "If you'll forgive me for not answering that question, I'll forgive you for asking!"

DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy relationship with a wonderful man. Our life is great together and I wouldn't want it any other way. I have one issue, however. I like to look at lesbian porn maybe a few times a week. I don't actually want to be with another woman -- it's just a fantasy of mine.

Is this wrong? Should I tell my boyfriend? I don't know if I'm making too much out of this, or if there are other women out there who are in the same situation. -- CURIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR CURIOUS: Books have been written about the many varied sexual fantasies women have. Yours is not unusual, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Nothing compels you to share your fantasy with your boyfriend unless you feel a need to. (But if you do, don't be shocked if he finds it a turn-on, because many men also fantasize about women having sex together.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm four months' pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. We ended our relationship six months ago but continued to see each other for sex. He's in the Army and has been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. At first he was my knight in shining armor, but after I moved into his house, he become mentally and physically abusive.

He is now in a new relationship. He changed his phone number and hasn't checked on me or our baby in weeks. I want him to have a relationship with his child, but every time I look at him I see a liar, a manipulator and an abuser who doesn't care about either of us.

How do I get over my feelings and convince him to be in our child's life? Or are my feelings justified and I'm just being a protective mother? -- PROTECTIVE MOTHER

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOTHER: What a sad letter. It would be interesting to know how much of his abusive behavior was a result of his depression and PTSD. But if you think that a mentally and physically abusive man, who has changed his phone number and done his best to get out of touch with you, is a suitable father figure for a child, you are kidding yourself.

You will, however, have a chance to make him live up to his financial responsibilities to the baby if you discuss this with an individual who is in a position to help you -- an attorney. Don't wait; start the conversations now.

DEAR ABBY: When I visited my sister 15 years ago, my brother-in-law tried to rape me. He was drunk and my sister was out with her friends. I have not revealed this to my family or my sister, who is emotionally and financially dependent on him.

My niece is now 20 years old and in college. I feel I should tell her what her dad did to me and warn her to be careful. What do you think? -- NEVER FORGETTING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEVER FORGETTING: Frankly, I think that if your brother-in-law was going to assault his daughter, it would have happened already, and you should have told your family what he tried to do to you at the time it occurred.