DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy relationship with a wonderful man. Our life is great together and I wouldn't want it any other way. I have one issue, however. I like to look at lesbian porn maybe a few times a week. I don't actually want to be with another woman -- it's just a fantasy of mine.

Is this wrong? Should I tell my boyfriend? I don't know if I'm making too much out of this, or if there are other women out there who are in the same situation. -- CURIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR CURIOUS: Books have been written about the many varied sexual fantasies women have. Yours is not unusual, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Nothing compels you to share your fantasy with your boyfriend unless you feel a need to. (But if you do, don't be shocked if he finds it a turn-on, because many men also fantasize about women having sex together.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm four months' pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. We ended our relationship six months ago but continued to see each other for sex. He's in the Army and has been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. At first he was my knight in shining armor, but after I moved into his house, he become mentally and physically abusive.

He is now in a new relationship. He changed his phone number and hasn't checked on me or our baby in weeks. I want him to have a relationship with his child, but every time I look at him I see a liar, a manipulator and an abuser who doesn't care about either of us.

How do I get over my feelings and convince him to be in our child's life? Or are my feelings justified and I'm just being a protective mother? -- PROTECTIVE MOTHER

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOTHER: What a sad letter. It would be interesting to know how much of his abusive behavior was a result of his depression and PTSD. But if you think that a mentally and physically abusive man, who has changed his phone number and done his best to get out of touch with you, is a suitable father figure for a child, you are kidding yourself.

You will, however, have a chance to make him live up to his financial responsibilities to the baby if you discuss this with an individual who is in a position to help you -- an attorney. Don't wait; start the conversations now.

DEAR ABBY: When I visited my sister 15 years ago, my brother-in-law tried to rape me. He was drunk and my sister was out with her friends. I have not revealed this to my family or my sister, who is emotionally and financially dependent on him.

My niece is now 20 years old and in college. I feel I should tell her what her dad did to me and warn her to be careful. What do you think? -- NEVER FORGETTING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEVER FORGETTING: Frankly, I think that if your brother-in-law was going to assault his daughter, it would have happened already, and you should have told your family what he tried to do to you at the time it occurred.

DEAR ABBY: Mom is 61. She lost her husband (my dad) six months ago. They had been married for 37 years. He used to do almost everything for her. Now her world has changed because she must do things for herself -- like doing the dishes or paying the bills.

When we talk, she constantly complains about tasks that have the simplest of solutions. If I offer advice, she gets defensive and says, "Fine! Tell me how I should live my life." I have reached the conclusion that she doesn't want advice, but she continues to complain and be upset. My siblings and I don't live close by. How can we help her? -- CARING DAUGHTER IN COLORADO

DEAR DAUGHTER: Six months ago, your mother lost half of her "self." Tasks that seem ordinary to you are still new to her. Resist the urge to help with advice unless you are specifically asked. And recognize that when she complains, rather than looking for advice, she may be venting about her pain and frustration.

DEAR ABBY: I often see parents "help" their elementary school-age kids violate safety laws. For example, if they are running late, they'll hurry their kids across an intersection against the flashing red hand signal, or jaywalk across the middle of a busy street instead of going to the corner. This saves them about two minutes.

I also see parents watch their kids playing on their skateboards right under a sign that says "No skateboards." These kids are old enough to read and understand the signs and signals.

Sometimes I call out to the parent, "Nice job teaching your kids how to get away with something!" or, "I hope your kids remind you about this when they are teenagers and want to do something stupid!" The parents always ignore me. Can you suggest a better comment I can yell out? -- DON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DON: What you are witnessing is regrettable. However, my advice is to keep your mouth shut, because you're not going to teach parents like the ones you have described anything with a shout-out.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have an ongoing disagreement. He said I should write to you to see what you thought.

When we're in a group, I say it's rude to make plans that don't include others who are standing with us. He has no problem with it. I'm uncomfortable discussing where to go for dinner with four members of a group when others are standing beside us. He says I am too sensitive and too easily embarrassed. What do you think? -- DISAGREEMENT IN OHIO

DEAR DISAGREEMENT: I don't think that you are too sensitive. While discussing where to go for dinner in front of people who haven't been invited isn't "rude," it is insensitive because they may feel excluded.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 28 years. During our first year of marriage, I caught him making out with an old classmate of mine. He assured me that it was only that and nothing else, so I decided to work through it.

We have five beautiful children now, and I'm not sure why I brought up that episode, but when I did I came to find out that he did, in fact, have sex with her. He swears it was that one and only time.

I can't find it in my heart to believe him after he held on to this lie for all these years. I would have never given him a second chance had I known back then. I would have moved on with my life.

We still have two little ones to raise, but I feel as torn and heartbroken as if it happened yesterday. He's a great father to our children and has been a wonderful husband, but is that enough anymore? -- SALTED HEART

DEAR SALTED HEART: Your husband most likely realized that if he told you the truth about his fling when it happened, the marriage would be over, which is why he lied. You have had 28 happy years of marriage to someone you say is a great father and wonderful husband. I can understand why you are upset, but think rationally.

If marriage counseling would make you feel better, please go for it and forgive him. To throw away everything you and your husband have invested in this marriage over something that happened almost three decades ago would be foolish, and you will regret it.

DEAR ABBY: I had a color and haircut and gave the stylist a generous tip. When I got home I noticed that one side was uneven, so I called the owner of the shop, who told me to return the next day and they would fix the problem. No charge.

I returned, and another stylist corrected the problem. I asked again about the charge and the owner repeated, "No charge." I didn't tip the second person as I had tipped the first one after paying for the color/cut.

As I was leaving the salon, I overheard another salon worker ask the employee who had fixed my hair, "Did she not give you a tip?" Given the original expense, I didn't feel another tip was warranted. Did I do the right thing? -- NO TIP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NO TIP: You should have given the second stylist a tip. The salon owner told you the service was free, but the second stylist should not have been punished for the sloppy work of the first one.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is getting married the same day and time that my wife graduates from college. The wedding date has been set for a year and a half. My wife found out a few months ago that there would be a conflict. I'm expected to be at my brother's wedding to escort my mom down the aisle. Which do I attend? -- CAN'T BE IN TWO PLACES

DEAR CAN'T BE: With apologies to your wife, you should honor the commitment you made first.