DEAR ABBY: My wife of 15 years has recently begun spending a lot of time with a group of women who socialize away from their husbands. They like to meet without their husbands and party at pick-up nightclubs and swingers' bars. When I asked her about it, her response was, "It's just us girls dancing with each other and having a good time. We dance with each other at the table we're at. We never dance with any of the men who ask us." When I asked why they go to these kinds of places, she said the atmosphere and music are better there.
Abby, I object to this type of partying. We married to be together. She's now accusing me of being jealous and possessive. Am I wrong to want her to stop? I think what she's doing is dangerous. -- PLEASE STOP IN ARIZONA
DEAR PLEASE STOP: No, you're not wrong. Your wife partying regularly at swingers' bars and pick-up joints IS a threat to your marriage. If the shoe were on the other foot and you were the one out drinking and dancing while she sat at home, she'd probably feel the same way you're feeling now, unless you had both agreed on an open relationship.
Spouses who treat each other without consideration for the other's feelings usually wind up divorced, so while there is time to save your marriage, some sessions with a marriage counselor would be a good investment.