DEAR ABBY: I've heard that your dessert recipes are unmatchable and I'd like to have them. Some time ago, I saw a column that mentioned cookbooklets you have available for purchase. I hope that this is still correct, because I'm interested in ordering them.

By the way, what is your favorite dessert recipe, Abby? -- ANITA IN SADDLE BROOK, N.J.

DEAR ANITA: That's a hard question to answer because I have a notorious sweet tooth. The Coconut Cake With Custard Frosting, Chocolate Cake With Fluffy White Frosting (and chocolate drippings!), Cheesecake, Pecan Pie, the Chocolate Mousse and -- believe it or not -- the Fruitcake recipe, which is filled with nuts but not "cakey," are all favorites of mine. I have also served the Almond Coffeecake, Heavenly Peanut Butter Pie and Sweet Potato Pie to friends while entertaining, and received the ultimate compliment -- a request for "just a little more."

All of the recipes in my two cookbooklets have been used again and again. Some of them have won blue ribbons at county fairs; others have been featured on the covers of women's magazines. The booklets are still available and can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. My cookbooklet set contains more than 100 tasty recipes that also include soups, salads, appetizers and, of course, main courses. I know you will enjoy them all because my family and dinner guests -- as well as other readers -- have raved about them.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Donna," and I are former co-workers. She divorced recently but has hooked up -- and is shacking up -- with a co-worker of mine, "James." James and I work on the same shift every weekend. Ugh!

James invited a woman to the job for a lunch date. Should I say something to Donna? I'm not a fan of his because he seemed sneaky before the "lunch date." Donna says she's happy. We limit our conversation about him because I hate to badmouth him knowing how she feels about him. But I'm bothered knowing he didn't care enough to not let on to me about his infidelity. It's like he wants me to bring the bad news. I haven't, but I need to know how to proceed.

My husband says I should mind my own business to keep work stress-free. What is your advice? -- HATES WORKPLACE DRAMA

DEAR H.W.D.: For now, I'm voting with your husband. One lunch date is not an affair, and you don't know what James' relationship with the woman may be. It could be innocent, so give him the benefit of the doubt.

However, if he continues to bring her around, I can see how you might want to ask Donna who the woman is. That's not bringing bad news; it's an innocent question.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for eight years, but married only a few months. It took him a long time to finally marry me, and it ended up that I was the one to propose.

I am 30 and he's 39. I know he loves me. I have always expressed that I want children and he did, too. I have been off birth control and keeping track of my cycle, but now he doesn't want to make love. When I try to get him in the mood, he always finds an excuse. I told him he has had plenty of time to let me know if he doesn't want children.

I love him more than anything, but I do not want to miss out on being a parent. This is a deal-breaker. I am getting older and I don't know what to do. -- FUTURE MOMMY IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FUTURE MOMMY: Settle this now by asking your husband directly why he is either unwilling or unable to perform in the bedroom. You are entitled to an explanation, because he may be having second thoughts not only about starting a family, but also the marriage. If he has changed his mind about having children, talk to a lawyer because you may be able to get an annulment.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is in the Navy. We have been friends for a year and a half, but have never met in person. He's 19 and I'm 17. We Skype at least once a week.

He has fallen for me and doesn't know what to do because he's in an arranged marriage he doesn't want to be in. He doesn't know the girl, doesn't know what she looks like or even know her name. All he knows is she lives in Russia.

I have fallen for him, too. He is only going through with the marriage because his grandparents did it. I thought I would ask for some advice on what I should do. -- MISS CONFUSED

DEAR MISS CONFUSED: Are you sure this person is who he has represented himself to be? "Because his grandparents did it" is not a good reason to go through with a marriage to a stranger. If his story is true, it appears this young man's family has his future mapped out for him, and he isn't independent enough to resist.

If you continue this Skype romance, I see nothing but sadness ahead for you. You would be happier if you found someone closer to home, someone whom you can meet in person.

DEAR ABBY: I don't know what's wrong with me. I say yes to everything! I say yes to people I don't even want to. I agree to plans that override those I have already made. Then I have to lie my way out of events and other stuff I don't want to do, or never had any intention of ever doing. I need help. It's ruining my life. Please, please help. -- CAN'T SAY NO

DEAR CAN'T SAY NO: What's wrong is that you are trying to be a people-pleaser. The problem with making promises you can't keep is that eventually you will become labeled as a flake when you don't follow through.

If you're afraid you won't be liked if you take the risk of just saying no, you are mistaken. People will respect you for standing up for yourself and drawing the line, as long as it's done politely. An example would be, "I'd love to, but I already have plans."

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband has suggested and arranged for a series of spray-tan sessions for my 12-year-old daughter. I feel that telling my preteen girl that she should spray tan is sending her the wrong message, and we should instead be teaching her that she's beautiful just the way she is.

How do you feel about this? Should I allow my 12- year-old daughter to tan? -- TAN OR NOT IN TEXAS

DEAR TAN OR NOT: NO! Your ex-husband may mean well, but unless a product is 100 percent safe, I cannot endorse using it on a minor child. According to Darrell Rigel, M.D., professor of dermatology at New York University, any absorption of DHA -- the main ingredient in spray tans -- can pose a potential risk of genetic mutations, especially in repeated users of the product and those in higher risk groups such as pregnant women and young children. (By the way, salon workers who apply these products repeatedly throughout the workday should also be aware of this.)

For more information about this, visit: abcn.ws/1K0p8x9. The ABC investigative report is a must-read. Frankly, it curled my hair.

DEAR ABBY: I work at an urban high school. Recently there was a campus-wide fundraising campaign during which one of the teachers sold brownies. A student bought all of them for $1 each, then resold them at lunch for $2 apiece for his own profit. My co-workers insist this was wrong, while I feel it was representative of an enterprising spirit.

My co-workers say it was immoral to make money off a fundraising event. I maintain that the charity was already paid for the brownies, and what he did with them after he bought them is immaterial. What do you think? -- WONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WONDERING: Having purchased the brownies, the student could dispose of them as he wished. If other students were willing to spend $2 for $1 brownies, well -- that's capitalism. Perhaps next year the teacher who sold the brownies should raise her rates.

DEAR ABBY: Why do friends ignore a woman after being friends for many years because she is now widowed? I am not the only one who says this. At the senior center they all agree.

I'm willing to pay my way for dinner, concerts, movies, etc. I don't expect anyone to pick up my tab. Still, I am no longer invited to lunch or dinner gatherings.

Someday, these friends may be in my position. They claim to be kind and caring individuals, and I miss them. I have invited them over, but they never reciprocate. What can I do? -- LONELY WIDOW IN FORT MYERS, FLA.

DEAR WIDOW: Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to change the behavior of the people you thought were your friends. However, that doesn't mean you must live in isolation. There are things you can do to lessen the loneliness you're experiencing. Chief among them would be to cultivate new interests and, along with them, new friends.