DEAR ABBY: I need help developing a response to a very rude question. My daughter recently turned 13. It seems that every time we go to a gathering and the moms get together talking, someone will ask me if my daughter has gotten her period yet.

It isn't even a question from people I'm close with or who really know my daughter. She would be mortified if she knew that people fixated on it. What is a good way to reply that it is none of their business without seeming rude? -- OFFENDED IN N.Y.C.

DEAR OFFENDED: My goodness, what a question. And from someone who is only an acquaintance. If the person is someone I don't know well, I would reply, "That's a personal, private matter between my daughter and me." Or, if I was feeling mischievous, I might smile and say, "She hasn't had one for the last four months and it's beginning to worry me." (Just kidding.)

DEAR ABBY: I am curious about your opinion on setting people up on dates. I am considering introducing one of my best friends, "Sierra," to my uncle "Wade." Do you think it's a good idea to set a friend up with a family member? I'm worried if it doesn't work out that my friendship with her won't be the same. Your advice is greatly appreciated. -- CUPID IN PEORIA

DEAR CUPID: I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about this. If you think Sierra and Wade have enough in common that they would enjoy meeting each other, go ahead and introduce them. If it works out -- fine. If it doesn't, it shouldn't have a negative impact on your relationship with her. Personal chemistry is hard to predict, and if they are both mature individuals, neither should blame you if there isn't a "spark" between them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old piano student. My piano teacher is a wonderful person and I enjoy taking lessons from her, but there is one problem: She is always late.

Usually it's 15 to 20 minutes, but other times I might be kept waiting for an hour or more. She also switches my lesson because of her busy schedule, which means I have to forgo many activities at the last minute. I have never missed anything important, but still, I am annoyed when I have to miss something I was looking forward to for a piano lesson.

I'm not sure what to do. How should I tell her to start coming on time? I really don't want to find another teacher, but this is very annoying. -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I don't blame you for being annoyed. Before your next lesson, talk with the woman and tell her how you feel about her inability to stay on schedule. She isn't your "friend"; she is paid for these sessions. An occasional 15-minute wait is understandable; making someone wait an hour or more is inconsiderate and disrespectful. If she can't do better than this, you might be happier if you found another teacher, and she might be happier because she'll be less overscheduled.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in my early 60s. I have been fortunate to live pretty openly, despite being stuck in a small, conservative Southern town. Many guys I have gotten to know over the years are not so lucky, due to being married, afraid for their careers, etc. As a result, many of them lead double lives with their true orientation known only to other gays.

When one of these acquaintances passes away, should I attend the funeral services to pay my respects, even though I might not have known anyone else in the family? Or should I stay away to keep tongues from wagging and asking, "How did Sam know THAT GUY?" -- CIRCUMSPECT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CIRCUMSPECT: Not everyone who attends a funeral is an intimate friend of the deceased. Some of them are people who knew the person from a distance and admired what he or she accomplished in life. If you feel the need to go to the funeral, by all means do. But have an answer prepared in case you are asked questions because "How did you know Bob?" is a common and innocent one.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of months after moving in with my boyfriend, I have realized that his mattress is not a good fit for me. He says that it's 12 years old and it still has 10 to 15 years left in it.

Every day I wake up with an aching, stiff back. I have a job that keeps me standing all day, so my back pain is starting to affect my performance. I like living with him, but how can I get him to replace the mattress? It seems he has chosen the mattress over me, so I guess I'll start sleeping on the floor. -- SLEEPY IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR SLEEPY: According to the website of one of the top mattress manufacturers, the average lifespan of a quality mattress is between eight and 10 years. Mattresses older than that can suffer from deteriorating comfort features and diminished support capabilities.

Many consumers wait too long to replace their mattresses. If you wake up in the morning not feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, or feeling pain or discomfort, then it's time to replace this one. So talk with your boyfriend again. If he's not willing to invest in a replacement, suggest buying a firm mattress topper or even splitting the cost for a new mattress.

A restful night's sleep is essential for good health. If you are unable to convince him, then you may have moved in with him too quickly.

DEAR ABBY: My beautiful, kindhearted, loving daughter "Cora" has a "best friend" she used to be very close with. However, her friend now has a boyfriend, so Cora doesn't see her on weekends or receive texts from her very often anymore. Everything they plan to do together, the girl cancels. My daughter is so distraught that it is affecting her emotionally and physically.

Cora has told her friend many times how she feels, but it has made no difference. Her friend promises her things and never follows through. My daughter suffers from social anxiety, so making a good friend is a rarity for her. I tell her I love her and that I'm always here for her, but although Cora sees a therapist, nothing seems to comfort her.

The school she attends stops accepting new students after ninth grade, so there is no chance of her meeting anybody new. We have tried having her join other activities, but they don't last. I'm desperate to help her. Any advice? -- BROKENHEARTED MOM

DEAR MOM: If you haven't already, talk to Cora's therapist. There may be a medication that will help to lessen her intense social anxiety, or she may need a different therapist.

What's going on between your daughter and her former best friend isn't unusual. When romance intervenes, it is common for teenage girls to focus their attention and energy on the boyfriend and less on their girlfriends. Expecting this girl to be your daughter's sole support system is unrealistic and unfair to the girl.

Because it is unlikely that Cora will find new friends in the context of school, continue to find outside activities that will give her something to do as well as contact with other teens. And, if Cora is open to it, you might consider having her volunteer at an animal rescue group or letting her adopt a pet from a shelter.

DEAR ABBY: A friend sent me a sample line of face care products from a company she works for. She included a lip balm I used, and sunscreen that contains a chemical to which I am allergic. I offered to send that sample back.

When I researched the ingredients of the other products, I was dismayed to see that they contain many chemicals, too. (I try to use organic products as much as possible because I have sensitive skin.) Should I return the whole unused sample kit? I obviously can't return the lip balm. Or should I just thank her and keep -- but not use -- them? These are high-end products from Europe, and she has been so "wowed" by them that she has become a consultant and is excited to promote them. -- RETURN TO SENDER?

DEAR R.T.S.?: Talk with your friend and thank her for her generosity, but explain that you are unable to use the products. Ask if she would like the unused products returned to her and take your cue from her. If she has had to pay for the products she's representing, she may be glad to have them back to share with others.