DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced man dating a divorcee, "Sylvie," who is eight years younger. I recently learned she had an affair before we met, and it is affecting the way I see her.
The man she had the affair with is still married. I had an affair while I was married, and although I understand how affairs can happen, I don't condone them. It took me several years to forgive myself for the hurt my actions caused.
Sylvie tells me things are over with this man, yet she continues to do business with him. In my mind she ought to find alternative vendors to deal with. We have spoken about it, and she insists no one else in our area carries or represents the product line he offers.
I feel if she truly is over him, then all communication, both personal and professional, should cease. It's not that I don't trust Sylvie, but I believe things might reignite between them in a weak moment. Am I being ridiculous? -- DAZED IN WISCONSIN
DEAR DAZED: You're not being ridiculous, but the truth is you don't completely trust Sylvie when she says the affair is history. For her to sacrifice a necessary business contact because you are insecure would be a mistake. There would be financial consequences, and she has no guarantee that her relationship with you will progress beyond dating.