DEAR ABBY: My grandson "Kyle" is in his early 20s, 6 foot 1 and weighs about 230. His sister is a very sweet 15-year-old and a devoted churchgoer.

At a recent family get-together, they were goofing around and he got her down on the floor on her stomach, sat on her knees to hold her down, and proceeded to reach his hand into her trousers to jerk her panties up and out of her pants. He then pulled her pants down almost to the bottom of her buttocks and spanked her.

The whole time, I was trying to get Kyle to stop acting so disrespectfully to his sister, but he ignored me. This happened in front of several people, including my husband, a male cousin in his 40s and the kids' great-aunt. I was shocked and I'm still angry. Kyle's aunt agrees with me and wonders whether molestation is involved.

Is this normal behavior between brothers and sisters? Are we old-fashioned? Are we overreacting? -- SHOCKED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SHOCKED: While I don't think that what happened was molestation, Kyle's behavior was extremely inappropriate. I can only guess how humiliated that poor girl was. I can't imagine why anyone would allow it to happen without putting a stop to it.

Kyle is an adult, even though he acts like a 13-year-old. What he did amounted to an assault of a minor, which at his age could land him in the pokey, and he needs to be "reminded" of that fact.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Joe," has what I refer to as "pedestrian rage." Neither of us drives, so we use mass transit or walk everywhere. We live in a large city and drivers are not always careful about pedestrians in parking lots, crosswalks, etc., making it doubly important to protect one's own safety when on foot.

I feel that Joe compromises our safety by being confrontational with motorists who fail his exacting standards. He curses loudly, strikes vehicles with his hand, or stops and glares at drivers who anger him. I have asked him repeatedly not to engage with these drivers for fear of retaliation.

The other day a man drove into the crosswalk when we were crossing on the green light. We weren't close to that section of the crosswalk yet, but Joe smacked the man's car as we crossed behind it. The man, who was very large and very angry, pulled over, jumped out and threatened to beat Joe up for touching his car. I pulled Joe down the sidewalk as he yelled at the driver.

I am at my wit's end. I'm afraid to go anywhere with him because he just doesn't get it. I no longer feel safe with him. His behavior is ruining our relationship. Do you have any suggestions? -- CROSSWALK RAGE

DEAR CROSSWALK RAGE: I sure do. Stop walking with him until he learns to control his temper because it could not only get himself hurt, but you as well. Banging on a traffic violator's car and cursing at him only escalates an already unfortunate situation.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and have been in a relationship since I was 13 with the same person on and off. I have been with him since my parents divorced, so you might say he's been my crutch for a long time.

He makes it clear that without him I am an emotional mess. I spend every day isolated from friends and family, while he spends his time with his friends. (I'm not allowed to be with them.) If I'm out with a friend, it is a huge issue.

I love him and I don't want to break up, but it feels like I'm alone even when I'm with him. I'm sick of letting a man make me feel like he's my reason for being alive. I want better. I deserve better. I am so confused. Please help me. -- DESERVES BETTER IN NEW YORK

DEAR DESERVES BETTER: I am crossing my fingers and hoping that you are still living with one of your parents. If you have been living with this person, I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is for you to make other arrangements.

You acknowledge that he has been your "crutch." Well, unless someone is severely disabled -- which you are not -- crutches are meant to be temporary. Among the warning signs of an abuser is being controlling and preventing his victim from forming healthy relationships with other people. Another red flag is if the person chips away at his victim's self-esteem by saying she/he "can't survive without him."

That you want something better for yourself and know you deserve better is a sign that you still have some healthy self-esteem. So please act on it. End this relationship and don't look back.

DEAR ABBY: I am a postal worker. With wedding and graduation seasons fast approaching, please pass along some suggestions to your readers:

Before addressing envelopes, please make sure your address books are up to date. We do everything in our power to make sure all mail gets to where it is supposed to be, but you'd be shocked how often it's addressed to someone who moved many years ago -- or worse, is deceased.

Be sure to include the recipient's last name and try not to use nicknames. If the address is off by a little bit, a last name on the envelope is sometimes helpful. You might think everyone knows Uncle Bob as "Moose." But as carriers, unless we know the recipient personally, we only know his or her proper name.

And don't forget to include your return address on the envelope so if it can't be delivered, you'll know the recipient didn't receive it. That way, you won't think that "Aunt Ann" didn't want to attend or have her think she wasn't invited.

And last but not least, be sure to have proper postage on the envelope! Often, due to the size or thickness of an invitation, extra postage is needed. I hope this will help your readers. -- MICHIGAN MAIL CARRIER

DEAR MAIL CARRIER: So do I!

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old self-made millionaire who has spent the last decade saving and investing my middle-class income. I grew up dirt poor, so at 18 I left home with $5, went straight to work and never looked back.

Recently, I've realized that I struggle to make friends for fear they'll find out about my financial situation. Those who know only want to talk about money or treat me differently. Most of my peers are broke and it makes me feel guilty. Those with high incomes blow their money on fancy dinners and luxury vehicles. I'm just a working-class woman who likes driving my 10-year-old car, and I don't feel like I fit in with anyone. In fact, I'm developing an anxiety.

A few months ago I went to the bank to deposit a large sum of money and was mortified to see that the bank teller was a friend of the family. I have gone to the extreme of lying about owning homes and going on vacations, and it's making me crazy. I even have issues with letting my young daughter's friends come over for playdates, for fear that the other moms will think our house is "too nice." Do I need counseling or is this just a turning point in my life that I need to grasp? -- MONEY WORRIES

DEAR MONEY WORRIES: If someone has to have money worries, yours are the nicest kind to have. It would be interesting to know how many successful people share your feelings, because I suspect that you are far from alone in experiencing them. (A psychiatrist once told me that many of her successful patients feel like frauds despite their considerable accomplishments.) A licensed mental health professional can help you to get past these feelings before they cause your daughter to be isolated, and I think the money would be well spent.

P.S. If you feel your banking transactions are not being kept confidential, either change financial institutions or arrange for private banking, which is available for high-net-worth individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I am raising two of my grandchildren because their parents can't take care of them. The kids are still learning acceptable behavior because they were never taught.

I'll give you an example of something that happens often: I was paying for an item at a store and my granddaughter sneaked behind the counter and reached into the display case. Cupcakes were involved. The saleslady asked her to stop. I immediately got ahold of my wayward offender, glued her to my side until I was finished and then made her apologize.

The problem was, the saleslady immediately said, "Oh, it's OK." I then had to ask the saleslady to please not tell my granddaughter that it was OK, but instead to accept my granddaughter's apology, because my granddaughter really would think it was OK. Your thoughts? -- RAISING GRANDKIDS

DEAR RAISING: I think the salesperson was simply being polite and professional, and that those children are lucky to have such a caring grandmother watching out for them.