DEAR ABBY: I have been dating an alcoholic for three years. He recently entered a treatment program because after his last binge he tried to kill himself. He seems to be committed to his program and staying sober.
He has requested that I stay sober with him for at least a year. While I'm fully committed to our relationship and support him, I don't feel that it's fair that I should have to completely forgo drinking because he has a problem. I'm not looking to go out and party every night -- those days are over for me -- but I'd like to enjoy an occasional beer with a friend or a glass of wine with my mom.
When I approached him about my doing so, he became upset. He said if I have this one exception, he believes the exceptions will continue and I will be at his old level of drinking. Do you think his request is reasonable? -- SOBER IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SOBER: That depends upon whether you, too, had an alcohol problem before your boyfriend joined the program and were his drinking buddy. If the answer is yes, I don't think his request is unreasonable. However, your boyfriend may be afraid that if you drink regularly, it may threaten his newfound sobriety. If that's the case, if you love him, you should refrain for a year as he has requested.