DEAR ABBY: I am a childless stepmom with an enormous desire to be a mother. My husband has two kids and I love them, but he doesn't understand the emptiness I feel inside knowing I'll never have that biological bond of unconditional love with his kids.
I deal with anxiety and sometimes become easily frustrated when the kids stay with us. My husband thinks it's because the kids are "invading my space." I try to tell him it has more to do with the fact that I have this dream of being a whole family, but just as we get into a routine, the kids go back to their mom and we must start all over again.
We have talked about trying to have a baby together, but my husband is skeptical. He thinks it would cause a bigger rift in my relationship with his kids, but I think it would give me something to share with the kids, as well as give me the biological bond of unconditional love I want so deeply.
Do you think a new addition to a blended family would cause more problems than it would solve? -- NEEDS TO BE A MOM
DEAR NEEDS: I define a "blended family" as one that encompasses "yours, mine and ours." What you have is a situation in which you want a child of your own, and your husband is afraid that if you have one, it will distract you from trying to get along better with his kids. What I think is that you and your husband should resolve this with a licensed marriage counselor to help you mediate this major difference in your perspectives -- if that's possible.