life

Dad Is Disturbed by His Ex's Revolving Door Relationships

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 18th, 2016 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I was in a six-year relationship with a woman. We shared a home and have a child together, whom I support. She has primary custody, and I provide financial support and exercise my visitations regularly.

We broke up six months ago and she immediately moved a man into the house. Since they split up, she has done this again with a new person.

I have moved on and am content being single and focusing on my career and parenting my son when he's with me. Where I struggle is when these new men want to meet me. I don't feel obligated to shake their hands, be polite and friendly or be a supportive, smiling face.

I'm disturbed by the speed she moves into other relationships. I feel like it sets a bad example for my son regardless of how "nice" these men are. There is no record of abuse, and I do believe my ex is a good mother, just maybe lonely and very dependent on having companionship.

I understand life goes on and people move on, but at what point is this unhealthy? Am I wrong for not wanting to be friends with my ex and her new "guy friend" whenever she decides she should be accompanied for custody exchange? I refuse to speak to or acknowledge these men. I am not confrontational, but I literally have nothing to say. Any advice how to handle this moving forward? -- FAKING SMILES

DEAR FAKING SMILES: I subscribe to the philosophy that one can never have enough friends. You don't have to approve of your ex's boyfriends, but it is in your child's best interest to maintain a relationship that approximates cordiality. It won't hurt you to shake hands and be on a first-name basis with the men who occupy space in your son's life even temporarily. When we can't change something, sometimes we have to accept it -- and that's what you would be wise to do.

Family & Parenting
life

Downsizer Hopes to Find New Life for Old Encyclopedias

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 18th, 2016 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm sure there are many others who would like to know this: I'm trying to downsize. I have a World Book Encyclopedia set from the '70s, plus yearbooks I'd like to find a home for. My kids are gone and living on their own, and the books haven't been opened in years. I refuse to throw them in the recycling bin. Any ideas? -- JOY IN NEW YORK

DEAR JOY: I did a quick search online to see what other people might be doing with their old encyclopedias. A solution popped up that might help you: Immigrants who are learning English as a second language may be able to use them if you offer them in a yard sale. A high school in your area might also be able to use them.

life

Wife Has Doubts About Man Donating Sperm to His Brother

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2016 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a 19-month-old son and plan on trying for another baby soon. My husband's brother, who is sterile, called and asked my husband to donate sperm to him. I am very upset because my husband refuses to ask his brother to make any kind of compromises to protect our family and theirs, such as counseling to resolve any issues ahead of time.

Before we were serious about each other, my husband donated to his brother's first wife. His brother wanted to keep it a secret from everyone -- including the children -- but his wife told all of her friends.

What should I do? My husband is afraid he's going to lose his brother if he doesn't give him everything he wants, but the person he is really going to lose is me. -- CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFUSED: I hope you won't let your husband's generous impulses have a negative impact on your marriage. I agree that counseling could help to head off future problems that might crop up -- if your husband and his brother would agree to it. But while you're at it, this should also be discussed with a lawyer just in case your brother-in-law's second marriage goes south, too.

As to keeping all of this a secret -- because wife No. 1 has made public the fact that the children aren't biologically his, the chances of the information being kept secret are slim to none.

Family & ParentingMarriage & Divorce
life

Dreams of Winning the Lottery Spark Gift-Giving Debate

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2016 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and I'm a lesbian. I've told my friends, but they don't accept me. They say they do, but when I talk about other girls, they say, "Don't talk about girls around us. We're not gay!" I don't know what to do. Please help. -- LGBT IN GEORGIA

DEAR LGBT: Your friends probably do accept you, but would prefer not to hear all the details you feel the need to share. It's time you find a youth group for gay teenagers. Go online, visit lgbtcenters.org and search for the nearest gay and lesbian community center in your area. If you do, you will see that the support you are looking for isn't hard to find. I wish you luck.

Etiquette & EthicsMoney
life

Gay Teen Has Trouble Palling Around With Old Friends

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2016 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and I'm a lesbian. I've told my friends, but they don't accept me. They say they do, but when I talk about other girls, they say, "Don't talk about girls around us. We're not gay!" I don't know what to do. Please help. -- LGBT IN GEORGIA

DEAR LGBT: Your friends probably do accept you, but would prefer not to hear all the details you feel the need to share. It's time you find a youth group for gay teenagers. Go online, visit lgbtcenters.org and search for the nearest gay and lesbian community center in your area. If you do, you will see that the support you are looking for isn't hard to find. I wish you luck.

TeensSex & GenderFriends & Neighbors
life

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 17th, 2016 | Letter 4 of 4

TO MY READERS: Today's the day for wearing something green! A very happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. -- LOVE, ABBY

Holidays & Celebrations
life

Booklet Full of 'Keepers' Is Sure to Give Pleasure

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2016 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have lost my copy of the "Letter From Your Pet," the essay that is written from the pet's viewpoint to his master, assuring him it is the right thing to do when it is time to put the pet down. Is it included in your "Keepers" booklet? If so, how can I order a copy? -- RUTH IN THE VILLAGES, FLA.

DEAR RUTH: "A Dog's Prayer" by Beth Norman Harris is one of the most requested items that have ever appeared in my column. It addresses not only the pet's end of life, but also how to respectfully treat the animal during its days on earth.

My "Keepers" booklet includes "A Dog's Prayer," as well as amusing and thought-provoking poems and essays on a variety of subjects, ranging from children and parenting, to human nature, houseguests and more. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 in U.S. funds, to: Dear Abby Keepers, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Many people have told me that "Keepers" makes a welcome gift for newlyweds, new parents, animal lovers, or anyone who is recovering from an illness. Filled with humor and wisdom, it's an inspiring, positive, quick and easy read for anyone who could use a lift.

Death
life

Man's Preference for Panties Gives Girlfriend Pause

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2016 | Letter 2 of 3
Love & DatingSex & Gender
life

Helpful Husband Encourages Wives to 'Live a Little'

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 16th, 2016 | Letter 3 of 3
Marriage & DivorceSex & Gender

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