DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mom in my 40s and my daughter is 12. After my last relationship, 10 years ago (not with her father), I took a leave of absence from the dating world to concentrate on myself and being the best mother I could.

Fast-forward: When I attempt to talk to anyone of the opposite sex, my daughter has a fit. She has hidden my car keys and my phone, pouts if I go out and behaves like an all-out brat.

I have reassured her that I love her and always will. Also, I would never allow someone around her if I had any suspicion that he might not be good for her. Nothing works. I have spoken with only one person I would even think of introducing her to, but I am afraid of her attitude.

Abby, what's the best way to enter into the dating world without hurting my child? I want to date, but my child won't let me. -- ENTERING THE DATING WORLD AGAIN

DEAR ENTERING: Your daughter likes things just the way they are and views any disruption as a threat to her lifestyle. The best way to enter into the dating world would be to do it without consulting her. IF and when you meet someone and things become serious, introduce them then -- in a casual way. If she acts up, remember that YOU are the parent.

Your daughter doesn't have to "love" someone because you do. She does, however, have to treat that person with the same respect with which you treat her friends -- and you should insist upon it. You are the parent, and it's up to you to enforce the rules for as long as she lives with you.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I are getting ready to move to a new city in six months (each of us for our own careers) and plan to move in together. Some issues still need to be ironed out before we make that commitment, and my biggest concern is the anger and resentment she carries toward her semi-estranged father.

I understand where it comes from and why, but it worries me to see how quickly and completely it can overwhelm her personality. I lack comparable experience, so I struggle to have constructive conversations with her about it. But I can't accept this poisonous volatility as a feature of our life together. I believe that speaking to someone would help her deal with these feelings in a healthier, more constructive way, but she rejects that idea.

I don't want to bully her into counseling, but I feel like I have to do something before we take this next step, for both our sakes. Would it be wrong to tell her she has to start seeing someone before I commit to moving in together? -- HESITATING IN FLORIDA

DEAR HESITATING: No, it would not be wrong. If your girlfriend's problems with her father bleed over into her relationship with you -- and it appears they have -- it would be a mistake for you to move in together because it won't last.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 14 years. My wife is a liar and lies about small things. I realized it about 10 years ago and have tried to reason with her. We have two daughters, and the older one is like her mom and also has a habit of lying.

Over the last few years I have started calling my wife on it whenever she lies to me. For the last eight months, we have not talked and we sleep in different rooms. She has never made an effort to fix our relationship. I want a divorce, but for the kids' sake I am not talking about it or forcing the issue.

I'm very depressed and don't know what to do. I have started drinking a lot late at night when everybody in the house is asleep. Please advise. -- HAD IT IN GEORGIA

DEAR HAD IT: It's time to take a step back and review what's happened in your marriage in the sober light of day. Neither you nor your wife is communicating on a meaningful level. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol won't fix what's wrong in your relationship with a compulsive liar -- and neither will tolerating the status quo.

You say you want a divorce, but haven't mentioned it for your children's sake; however, the silent anger and hostility in your home isn't a healthy environment for them. Do you really want them to grow up thinking this is normal?

If you or your wife is concerned about how your behavior is affecting your daughters, start talking with a licensed marriage counselor to see if your marriage can be revived. If it can't be, then it might be healthier to consult an attorney and make the split as amicable as possible for everyone's emotional and financial sake.

DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend, "Alec," proposed, I happily accepted. But a few months later he came up with the idea to bring his 9-year-old brother, "Shane," to live with him, so Alec can look after him. Alec thinks the boy will get a better education and improve his behavior if he lives in the city.

Currently, Shane lives with their mom, and she agreed to send her son to live here. The problem is, we plan to get married in two years, and I do not see myself living with an adolescent boy. I want to start out fresh only with Alec. His family can visit, but the prospect of his brother living with us does not appeal to me, especially because he has a mom who can look after him. I am unsure now whether to proceed with the wedding, knowing what this will mean. -- PLANS DERAILED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR PLANS DERAILED: Does your fiance intend to bring Shane to stay immediately? At the beginning of the next school year? Is Shane having social problems at his present school? Academic difficulties? Has he become difficult for their mother to control? Who will be expected to supervise the boy when he is not in school?

You and Alec need to have a lot more conversation about what the realities of this situation will be once the boy arrives. If Alec plans to have responsibility for his brother fall on you, you need to be honest and let him know you are neither willing nor able to do that, so he can make other arrangements.

DEAR ABBY: How can I help a friend who needs to stand up for herself and file for divorce? Her husband is in a high-profile job that's connected with hers. He has been having an affair with a co-worker for years, and he is verbally and sometimes physically abusive. She has called the police twice, but didn't press charges.

Friends are running out of sympathy, but don't know how to help her. Is it wrong to report his behavior to his employer even though he might get fired because of it? -- NEEDS TO STAND UP

DEAR NEEDS TO STAND UP: As your friend may probably be already aware, abuse doesn't stay at the same level. It can escalate from verbal abuse to pushing and slapping to serious physical harm and sometimes even death. That's why this woman's friends should assure her they stand with her, and try to convince her to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; thehotline.org) and arrange a safe and effective escape plan. Trained advocates at the hotline have told me that not every caller will leave after the first -- or even the second -- episode of violence, but at least she will know what she needs to do.

If she comes to you injured, get her to an emergency room for treatment and so that her wounds can be photographed. If she shows up at work with bruises, it's time to talk to human resources to see if you can get her some help, but I would not advise contacting her husband's employer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a happily married gay man living in metro Atlanta. My 50th high school reunion is approaching and I want to take my husband. The reunion is being held in a small rural town in the Midwest. Of course, I haven't lived there in 50 years, but I go there occasionally for family events.

I come from a large family, lots of brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, and grandnieces and grandnephews, many of whom still live in my hometown. I don't know if all of them know about my situation and I'm not that concerned, but I am concerned about small-town gossip that can be mean-spirited. I wouldn't want anyone to be hurt.

I know my relatives interact professionally and personally with some of my classmates and their descendants. Am I being overly concerned, or should I just go and let the chips fall where they may? That's the thing about coming out as gay -- it's an ongoing process, even at my age. -- GAY GRADUATE IN GEORGIA

DEAR GAY GRADUATE: Go to the reunion, take your husband and have a good time. If anyone has a problem with the fact that you are homosexual and married, do not make it your problem. We can't control what someone might say behind our backs. But whatever is said is a reflection on the speaker -- not us or our relatives. Because people live in small towns does not mean they are all small-minded.