DEAR ABBY: I need some relationship advice. How do you handle household expenses with a partner?
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 10 years. In all this time, he has never once split any of the expenses with me. I pay for everything. He does buy groceries, although not all of them. He also helps around the house and with my daughter.
If I bring up the issue of sharing expenses, it turns into a fight. He says he's "sorry" he doesn't make enough money. Then he says all that matters to me is money and threatens to move out.
I feel completely taken advantage of because he DOES have the money to make $300-plus monthly payments for his new boat that's sitting in my garage. To me it's all about priorities. I would like a new car, but I have other monthly bills to pay.
Is it just me, or is this unfair? -- UP TO HERE WITH IT IN SOUTH DAKOTA
DEAR UP TO HERE: It's not just you. You have been carrying the lion's share of the load. But unless you are finally ready to insist upon a new arrangement with this man -- who has had it pretty good for the last 10 YEARS -- nothing will change.
It's time to ask yourself whether what he does contribute -- on every level -- is enough to satisfy you. If it isn't, be prepared to tell him you need to find an equal partner, and if he's unwilling to be that person, he should move.