DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, "Allison," for two years, but lately there have been frequent rough patches. I'm 18 and a college student. I love Allison, but the relationship is taking a toll on us physically and emotionally.

We have had to deal with separation ever since we got together. She's the only one with a car and a "real" job. I work on campus in a work-study program in exchange for reduced tuition. I try to help Allison as much as I can to reduce the stress on her.

She has asked me to transfer schools, but I'd like to stay where I am because I feel I will have the ability to make something of myself. I have suggested that maybe we need to go our separate ways so she doesn't have to pull the majority of the weight, but she gets upset and accuses me of not loving her. What should I do? -- STRESSED STUDENT IN GEORGIA

DEAR STUDENT: First let me suggest what NOT to do. Do not allow Allison to pressure you into changing schools. It is important that you complete your education, and there is no guarantee that the financial arrangement you have with this school can be replicated somewhere else.

You and Allison are young, and long-distance relationships are often hard to maintain. That she is carrying the lion's share of the load right now is unfortunate, but it won't last forever. If she's unwilling to accept that, then I agree that perhaps it's time for the two of you to take a break.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I wrote to your mother about the many difficulties and stress of raising a very disabled son. Her advice gave me and my wife much needed encouragement. I keep her framed handwritten letter above my desk.

Our son passed away unexpectedly 17 months ago. Our family, neighbors and community gave us lots of support. Our son was loved by all. But for the past few months, it seems as if it is taboo for anyone to ask about how we are doing. Even if I mention our son in the context of a conversation, there is no follow-up.

I can understand people may be reluctant to open up a sorrow. However, I want to let them know it is OK to ask, "How are you doing?" I won't hold them hostage to a long, maudlin discourse. It just would be nice if people would still acknowledge his life and that we all still miss him. -- ALWAYS HIS DAD IN COLORADO

DEAR DAD: I am glad you wrote because you are not alone in having this heartache. As a general rule, people are uncomfortable bringing up the subject of death because they are afraid they will cause the person more sadness. Rarely is this true. People who have suffered a loss NEED to know their loved one hasn't been forgotten. No one should be afraid to share a warm memory, or ask how a grieving family member is doing. To show that kind of sensitivity is a generous gift.

DEAR ABBY: How do I connect with my son? He is 4 and he prefers his father to me. I generally "get" to be the bad guy -- the one who takes him to doctor appointments, gives icky meds, enforces bedtime and keeps order.

Dad doesn't even have to try to get affection. They are best buds. My son even asked me to go away so Dad would love him more. It stings. Aren't boys supposed to love their moms? -- SAD MOM IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR SAD MOM: Of course they are. Parenting responsibilities are supposed to be shared, and these days many men step forward and share those responsibilities. Your husband appears to think that being a "bud" is more fun than being a father. Making you the "bad mommy" while he is the "good guy" is unfair not only to you, but also to your son.

The two of you should have already formed a united front when it comes to discipline. If this is allowed to continue, your boy will play each of you against the other -- if he isn't already -- and your problems are only starting.

DEAR ABBY: I am a medical receptionist with a university medical group. It is common for people to approach my counter and "hover" next to the person I am helping, listening to the information I'm being given without any regard to it being private. When I ask them to stand back, they usually get upset with me.

I'm tired of people acting like it's me who's being rude. I could get in trouble by not speaking up because private medical information is supposed to be protected. Would you please inform your readers that standing and listening to people while they are being checked in for a medical appointment is not OK, and if they are asked to step away to not take it personally? -- TIRED OF ASKING

DEAR TIRED: I'll inform them, but I have another suggestion to offer: Discuss this problem with your office manager and ask if it would be prudent to post a sign asking patients not to stand within three feet of the reception desk when waiting to sign in. That way the onus won't be on you, everyone's privacy will be protected and no one will be offended.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 12. I love dancing and singing, but my mom has told me many times that I'm not good at it. It has lowered my self-confidence.

I'm now scared to sing or dance in public, although when I was younger, I would do it happily. What can I do to feel OK about my dancing and singing abilities? -- ENTERTAINER IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ENTERTAINER: Nobody starts out being a star. Talent needs to be developed and nourished before it can blossom. If you enjoy singing and dancing, continue to do it -- if only for the joy it brings you -- and stop worrying about approval from others, even your mother.

DEAR ABBY: When purchasing concert tickets online for others, when should you expect reimbursement? I say the charge hits your credit card immediately, and so should the payment you've advanced for that person. My husband thinks it should be when the tickets are mailed to you -- which can take two to four weeks -- and you either bring the tickets to your friends or they pick them up. What do you think? -- CAUTIOUS FRIEND IN LOUISIANA

DEAR CAUTIOUS FRIEND: Your mistake was in not discussing payment arrangements before you bought the tickets. Unless immediate repayment was agreed upon at the time they were ordered, I agree with your husband that reimbursement when the tickets are delivered is appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We are both 29.

When we have a fight, the first thing he does is text message my parents and tell them everything. I have asked him many times to please not involve them. We are adults and we should be able to handle our problems without interference from my parents. I never have, and never would, complain to his mother about him. His response has always been, "I can involve whoever I want."

He knows I feel disrespected when he does this, and he still won't change. Is there anything else I can do? -- HURT IN SANTA MARIA

DEAR HURT: Yes, you can change boyfriends.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old man, currently living in Boston and in my final year of grad school. My parents help me out with finances because I have very little income.

One of the things they have done is keep me on the family phone plan. However, there's a catch: They recently announced that my "cost" for staying on their phone plan is installing an app that allows them to track my location at all times.

In Boston, that's not a huge deal, but when I'm visiting them in Georgia on breaks, it's a point of contention, since I must let them know I'm taking a car. This will alert them to the fact I'll be out, and remove any trace of privacy I might have while I'm there.

When I told them I'll pay my portion of the bill, their response was, "Would you prefer more texts and phone calls?" How can I deal with this situation? -- NEEDS MY PRIVACY

DEAR NEEDS PRIVACY: Your parents are treating you like a child, although you are an adult and should be entitled to some privacy. Look into ways of getting a reasonably priced phone plan, i.e., a prepaid phone. And when you visit them, refrain from using their car if it's an issue. (Perhaps your friends can pick you up and drop you off instead?)