DEAR ABBY: How do I connect with my son? He is 4 and he prefers his father to me. I generally "get" to be the bad guy -- the one who takes him to doctor appointments, gives icky meds, enforces bedtime and keeps order.

Dad doesn't even have to try to get affection. They are best buds. My son even asked me to go away so Dad would love him more. It stings. Aren't boys supposed to love their moms? -- SAD MOM IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR SAD MOM: Of course they are. Parenting responsibilities are supposed to be shared, and these days many men step forward and share those responsibilities. Your husband appears to think that being a "bud" is more fun than being a father. Making you the "bad mommy" while he is the "good guy" is unfair not only to you, but also to your son.

The two of you should have already formed a united front when it comes to discipline. If this is allowed to continue, your boy will play each of you against the other -- if he isn't already -- and your problems are only starting.

DEAR ABBY: I am a medical receptionist with a university medical group. It is common for people to approach my counter and "hover" next to the person I am helping, listening to the information I'm being given without any regard to it being private. When I ask them to stand back, they usually get upset with me.

I'm tired of people acting like it's me who's being rude. I could get in trouble by not speaking up because private medical information is supposed to be protected. Would you please inform your readers that standing and listening to people while they are being checked in for a medical appointment is not OK, and if they are asked to step away to not take it personally? -- TIRED OF ASKING

DEAR TIRED: I'll inform them, but I have another suggestion to offer: Discuss this problem with your office manager and ask if it would be prudent to post a sign asking patients not to stand within three feet of the reception desk when waiting to sign in. That way the onus won't be on you, everyone's privacy will be protected and no one will be offended.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 12. I love dancing and singing, but my mom has told me many times that I'm not good at it. It has lowered my self-confidence.

I'm now scared to sing or dance in public, although when I was younger, I would do it happily. What can I do to feel OK about my dancing and singing abilities? -- ENTERTAINER IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ENTERTAINER: Nobody starts out being a star. Talent needs to be developed and nourished before it can blossom. If you enjoy singing and dancing, continue to do it -- if only for the joy it brings you -- and stop worrying about approval from others, even your mother.

DEAR ABBY: When purchasing concert tickets online for others, when should you expect reimbursement? I say the charge hits your credit card immediately, and so should the payment you've advanced for that person. My husband thinks it should be when the tickets are mailed to you -- which can take two to four weeks -- and you either bring the tickets to your friends or they pick them up. What do you think? -- CAUTIOUS FRIEND IN LOUISIANA

DEAR CAUTIOUS FRIEND: Your mistake was in not discussing payment arrangements before you bought the tickets. Unless immediate repayment was agreed upon at the time they were ordered, I agree with your husband that reimbursement when the tickets are delivered is appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We are both 29.

When we have a fight, the first thing he does is text message my parents and tell them everything. I have asked him many times to please not involve them. We are adults and we should be able to handle our problems without interference from my parents. I never have, and never would, complain to his mother about him. His response has always been, "I can involve whoever I want."

He knows I feel disrespected when he does this, and he still won't change. Is there anything else I can do? -- HURT IN SANTA MARIA

DEAR HURT: Yes, you can change boyfriends.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old man, currently living in Boston and in my final year of grad school. My parents help me out with finances because I have very little income.

One of the things they have done is keep me on the family phone plan. However, there's a catch: They recently announced that my "cost" for staying on their phone plan is installing an app that allows them to track my location at all times.

In Boston, that's not a huge deal, but when I'm visiting them in Georgia on breaks, it's a point of contention, since I must let them know I'm taking a car. This will alert them to the fact I'll be out, and remove any trace of privacy I might have while I'm there.

When I told them I'll pay my portion of the bill, their response was, "Would you prefer more texts and phone calls?" How can I deal with this situation? -- NEEDS MY PRIVACY

DEAR NEEDS PRIVACY: Your parents are treating you like a child, although you are an adult and should be entitled to some privacy. Look into ways of getting a reasonably priced phone plan, i.e., a prepaid phone. And when you visit them, refrain from using their car if it's an issue. (Perhaps your friends can pick you up and drop you off instead?)

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old perfect kid came to us, very adult-like, saying it was time for her to go on the pill. We knew she had a boyfriend, but didn't realize it was this serious.

Despite my initial impulse to kill him and stick my daughter in a convent, we discussed it as a family and agreed she would see a gynecologist. She also had a long talk with her mother about sex, and with me a few days later. When I sat down alone with her she was embarrassed, but I don't care -- I'm her father.

Fast forward to last week: She left her iPad in the living room, and while I was using it, up popped explicit pictures of her not only with her boyfriend, but with other guys and girls. Her mother and I talked about how to handle this. I suggested therapy and pulling her from school. My wife disagreed. She accused me of violating our daughter's personal property and said it's none of my business!

I may be old-fashioned, but my daughter, whom I love more than life, needs to know this is not OK. She's still a child despite looking like an adult, and as a child, she needs guidance. Am I wrong? Do you have any resources for me on handling my daughter's sexual impulses? -- CONCERNED DAD IN SANTA CLARA

DEAR CONCERNED DAD: To pull your daughter out of school or send her to a psychotherapist would be an overreaction. Her sexual impulses are normal. Although I agree she needs guidance, that guidance should come from you and your wife.

As to your "violating your daughter's personal property," I'm glad you saw what was on the tablet and your wife should be as well. The kind of photos you describe can cause big problems for teenaged girls. If her relationship with her boyfriend sours, those pictures can wind up on the Internet to be viewed for all time.

Colleges and prospective employers have been known to scour the Internet looking for these kinds of postings when interviewing students and job seekers. What may seem like innocent fun now could cause her big headaches a few years down the line, and your daughter needs to know it.

DEAR ABBY: I work the front desk at a small hotel in the middle of nowhere. I love my job. My boss and co-workers are amazing, and we are like a big family.

Recently, while I was working the graveyard shift, I was held up at gunpoint and robbed. Going to work still scares me, and I'm anxious the entire time.

Should I seek counseling and stay with this job to see if my anxiety lessens, or find another one where I won't have to deal with cash? I'm terrified of this happening again, since the thief got away with it. -- JUST DON'T SHOOT

DEAR JUST DON'T SHOOT: You should definitely seek counseling because of the trauma you experienced. Some states offer it as part of a victims assistance program, but if yours does not, then you will have to get it privately through your health insurance or your employer's. After you have had some sessions, you will then be in a better position to decide whether to continue working at that hotel.