DEAR ABBY: We recently bought a new home and have discovered that our elderly neighbors are caring for their grandson's dog. The dog lives in a 3-by-6-foot area right next to our patio. The poor animal receives little attention and is rarely cleaned up after. As a consequence, our patio reeks of dog feces, and we are overwhelmed by flies.

I feel bad for the couple, and I resent the grandson for allowing his dog to be neglected and for failing to have any consideration for the stench that makes our patio off-limits to us. How can I politely ask my new neighbors to clean up after their dog so we can enjoy our new home without offending them or creating a bad neighbor situation? -- "SHOO FLY" IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.

DEAR SHOO FLY: If your neighbors are unable to properly care for their grandson's dog, they shouldn't have it. A dog is a responsibility -- the animal needs feeding, exercise, social contact and to be cleaned up after. To shirk that responsibility is cruel.

It would not be offensive to inform these neighbors that the odor and flies from their dog run are so overwhelming that they prevent you from enjoying your patio. Speak up, or they'll think you haven't noticed. If this continues, call animal control or a pet rescue group.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a rocky relationship for 10 months, and I'm not sure how you get out. I have tried multiple times to leave, but every time I tell her, she begs me not to, says horrible things and threatens to kill herself. She says she'll never be happy again, that I "always do this" and it hurts her so much. It makes me feel so bad I just give in and give her what she wants.

She doesn't trust me. I have to give her all of my passwords and she checks my phone daily. She has to know everything I'm doing, and if I don't tell her, look out! The next world war is going to happen. I have told her many times that if she can't trust me, there's no way we can be together because it will make a miserable life for both of us.

Her constant worrying whether I'm going to leave her is starting to get to me. I really can't take this anymore. I have considered some extreme things to get out because I'm so unhappy, and I know she is, too. I have tried everything. Please help me. -- STUCK IN A NIGHTMARE

DEAR STUCK: It is time you realize that you can't fix what's wrong with this woman. Her insecurities are a bottomless pit. You have described a hostage relationship, not a loving one.

So pack your things and get out of there NOW. If she threatens suicide and you know how to contact her family, alert them after you have gone. But do not pause, do not explain and do not look back. Your safety and your sanity depend upon it.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Steve" is in his mid-20s and became a father a few months ago. He's happy and excited about it, and he's good with the baby. He has been living with the mother, "Nina," who is a few years older, for a while now. Nina is also a friend of mine, and this is her second child.

My problem is that Steve told me some time before his son was born that he thinks he is gay. He wants to wait until Nina recovers from the pregnancy and finds a job before he tells her. I know he intends on being as big a part of the child's life as possible.

As much as I don't want Nina to be a single mother twice over, it doesn't seem good for her, Steve or the children to stay in a sham relationship. How can he break the news to her in a way that won't jeopardize his chance to be a father to his son? -- CONCERNED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR CONCERNED: This will have to be handled delicately because Nina may be clueless about Steve's sexual orientation. Expect her to be hurt and furious when she gets the news. It was reckless of Steve to have had unprotected sex with Nina under these circumstances.

That said, gay men can be great parents, and the focus should be on successful co-parenting of the child. If Steve were straight and found another woman, or fell out of love with Nina, it would affect the relationship in much the same way as his realization that he is gay. In either of those scenarios, the baby must be raised with love and consistency, whether the parents are coupled or not.

Steve's moral responsibility to his son will last forever. Gay or straight, Steve will always be that child's father. His financial responsibility will last until the boy is no longer a minor. If your friend encounters trouble achieving a workable solution with Nina regarding co-parenting, he should contact lambdalegal.org. Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of LGBT people.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating an awesome man who happens to be married. He and his wife have been separated for 10 years and they still talk to each other, but they are not living together.

"Mr. Right" is retired from the military and says they are still married because of her health issues and the fact that she can't afford health care on her own. Should we continue to see each other? -- HIS HONEY IN HOUSTON

DEAR HONEY: If you are satisfied with the relationship, enjoy it for what it is. But if you aspire to anything more, this man is not in a position to give it to you. (Instead of referring to him as "Mr. Right," it might be more accurate to call him "Mr. Right for Now.")

DEAR ABBY: My father is 80. In his prime he was a businessman with lots of contacts. Most of his friends and siblings are gone now. He doesn't take good care of himself. His hair is unkempt, he goes weeks without shaving, his pants sag, and worst of all, his fingernails are full of dirt. He doesn't get out much, so I'm not sure it's important to him.

My main concern is how to handle this with the funeral home when he dies. Is this something they would clean? I can't imagine putting anyone through that. It would also not reflect who he really is.

I have never been comfortable confronting Dad about his appearance as he is sure to have his feelings hurt. I would appreciate your thoughts on this. -- CAN'T CONFRONT DAD IN INDIANA

DEAR CAN'T CONFRONT: Is your father in good physical health? If he is, could he be depressed or becoming demented? Those could be reasons why he has let his appearance go. From your description, your dad appears to have become very isolated. Perhaps if you encouraged him to join a senior group, he'd be more inclined to fix himself up and visit a barber. But I digress.

If your sole concern is how your father will look in his casket, your concerns will be alleviated when you talk about it with the director of the funeral home you plan to use. Making sure a body is clean and presentable is standard procedure.

DEAR ABBY: In recent years, when I befriend women, we start off having things in common (husband, children). Then these women lose all other interests and talk about nothing else. I have a wide range of interests (sports, travel, work, church -- you name it), and I'm willing to listen and learn.

Abby, I have never met these women's families and I am so tired of hearing their children's names that I'm starting to distance myself. I have dedicated most of my life to my husband and raising my children. I do not want to spend the rest of it talking about them. How do I handle these ladies? -- STARVED FOR STIMULATING CONVERSATION

DEAR STARVED: Birds of a feather flock together. If you want stimulating conversation, you will have to find another flock to fly around with. Sign up for classes at a local college, join a political campaign, volunteer at a hospital, join a group that helps the less fortunate, go to a museum. Do this and I assure you, you will meet others whose interests more closely match yours.

DEAR ABBY: I've met a man with whom I get along well. He is a physical therapist. We talk and joke during my therapy sessions. He makes them seem more like fun than work.

I think we could be friends if given the chance. When I have finished my therapy at the practice, would it be OK to ask if we could keep in touch? If so, how does one approach this? He's married, but I'm not looking for a romantic relationship. I would just enjoy being able to talk with him occasionally. -- ON THE MEND IN GEORGIA

DEAR ON THE MEND: When your therapy is completed, tell him you enjoyed the sessions and how enjoyable conversing with him was. Then ask if you can talk occasionally because he has many of the qualities you would like in a friend. You have nothing to lose by asking.