DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in the Marine Reserves. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will either resign or re-enlist.

He's obsessed with the idea of serving his country and deploying. He says he won't feel like he did his job if he doesn't deploy. While I respect that, for him to deploy, he must re-enlist, and his new contract will be for another six years. He could be sent overseas many times in six years.

I can't imagine life without him. Every time I even watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, because he is very brave, but how can I talk him into not re-enlisting or at least communicate that I don't want him to do this again? -- WANTS HIM STATESIDE

DEAR WANTS: Frankly, I am surprised you haven't told your fiance your feelings about this already, because you should have. While I wouldn't ask him to choose between you and his military service, I do think you have some serious thinking to do about your own future. Being a military spouse requires a special kind of strong, independent and dedicated person -- as you have already experienced. While you may love him, if this isn't a lifestyle to which you can adapt, then he may not be the husband for you.

DEAR ABBY: My mother's father recently got out of prison and was deported to Mexico. He had been in jail for 20 years, almost my entire life (I'm 22). While he was in prison, I wrote him several times, hoping to connect with him, but I never got a response -- not even an acknowledgement in his letters to my mom.

When I'm asked if I have any grandparents, I usually say, "I only have two grandmas." My father's father was the only real grandfather I had, and I loved him dearly. He died in 2003.

The problem is, my mom wants me to call her father "Grandpa" when I don't even know the man! In my opinion, the title of "Grandpa" is earned and not automatically bestowed. Am I being unreasonable and what should I do? -- ESTRANGED GRANDDAUGHTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ESTRANGED: You are not being unreasonable; you are being rational. You are not only not obligated to call this man "Grandpa," you are under no obligation to speak to him at all, and I wouldn't blame you if you kept your distance.

DEAR ABBY: I just got asked to my first high school dance by "Josh," a boy I really like. I don't know what to do, what to wear or what to say. I don't even know how to dance, and I don't want to mess this up.

Josh is very popular and has done this before, but I haven't. He's my best friend, and I'm scared of losing him because I'm not good enough. Should I go, or call it off and just stay home? Maybe I'm just not meant for all this dating stuff. What should I do? -- INEXPERIENCED IN NEVADA

DEAR INEXPERIENCED: If you weren't "good enough," Josh wouldn't have invited you to the dance. Because you haven't danced before, ask him to give you some pointers before the big night. If you do, I'm sure he'll be glad to help.

As to what to wear, if any of your girlfriends have attended the dances, ask them for suggestions. However, if none of them have been to a school dance either, ask any female relative of the same age -- or ask Josh.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a male in my early 50s. As a shy 21-year-old, I had minor surgery to straighten a small (but at the time, to me, ginormous) hump on my nose. I didn't tell many people and it boosted my confidence, and although I can't say I regret it, looking back I don't think it was really needed. I met my wife a few years later and didn't think it was important enough to mention, which doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is my daughter, 23 and happily married, is complaining about the small hump on her nose and seriously contemplating surgery to fix it. She says she's the only one in the family with such a nose. Her husband and my wife, neither one of whom are fans of minor cosmetic surgery, are urging her to not do it. I have kept my mouth shut so far.

I hate bringing something up I've kept from my wife all these years, yet I have this nagging feeling I'm betraying my daughter by not telling her she has the nose I was born with. I also worry that she'll find out and feel betrayed if I say nothing. Am I obligated to tell her? Am I a jerk if I don't? Does she have a right to know about her father's true nose? -- INDECISIVE DAD IN THE USA

DEAR INDECISIVE: You are behaving as though a rhinoplasty is something to be ashamed of. It's not! Speak up and tell your wife your daughter inherited your nose and that fixing yours gave you self-confidence. Then be honest with your daughter. She's an adult. What she chooses to do with the nose on her face should be her decision and no one else's because no one else will be wearing it.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. We had never had an argument. Then one night we did, and we both said things we shouldn't have. Since that day, he hasn't spoken to me again. He has ignored all my phone calls and my attempts to work things out. I have tried to move on, but I can't seem to. I have been devastated ever since because I truly loved him.

I recently started seeing a guy I like, but when it comes down to it, I can't let go of my ex-boyfriend. I am paralyzed by my emotions. Mostly I feel betrayed. He has destroyed every perception I had about relationships, like being there for each other through the good and bad. How can I help myself heal? -- MOTIONLESS IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTIONLESS: Not all romances are meant to lead to marriage. Intelligent adults don't necessarily agree on everything, but they should be mature enough to discuss their differences without resorting to vitriol. If your ex-boyfriend's reaction to a disagreement was to run for the hills, better that you learned it after two years rather than, say, five.

I subscribe to the philosophy that our relationships -- whether successful or failed -- teach us important lessons about life. Sometimes we must accept life as it is rather than our fantasy of what we would like it to be. Because you haven't been able to progress beyond the romance you had with your ex, you will save yourself additional pain and wasted time if you discuss it with a licensed mental health professional.

DEAR ABBY: After 27 years of marriage, my wife told me she is attracted to other women. To my knowledge, she has acted on this only once.

Every day I wonder where our relationship stands. One day she can't see herself without me; the next, she says we should divorce. I don't know if I should end this or wait to see where it goes.

I will need counseling if we divorce, but currently I can't afford it. Yes, I love her, but what matters most to me is that she is happy. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. Any suggestions? -- MR. D. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MR. D.: After 27 years of marriage I can only imagine how shocking your wife's revelation must have been for you. That she is ambivalent about your marriage must be deeply painful because you are being treated like a yo-yo.

The book "The Other Side of the Closet," by Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., has been mentioned before in my column and has proven helpful to others in your situation. There is also a support group called the Straight Spouse Network (www.straightspouse.org), which offers emotional support after a wife or a husband comes out as yours did. Please don't wait to read the book and visit the website. I think you will find them comforting.

DEAR ABBY: I have a large family consisting of many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Looking through my photo albums, I can't complain that I don't have enough photos of my children, but it's a parade of tongues.

Their mothers all post photos on social media with their tongues hanging out. The children then mimic their moms and their photos are disgusting as well. I would love to have photos of my children minus the slimy organ.

Is this accepted behavior in our society now? Please, can someone enlighten me as to the inspiration of this repulsive action? -- CLOSED-MOUTHED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CLOSED-MOUTHED: I suspect it originated back in the 1970s when Gene Simmons of Kiss licked his way to the top of the music charts. Lately, Miley Cyrus took up the torch and is keeping it burning brightly. Children often stick out their tongues when they are forced to have their picture taken or are trying to be funny, but I don't think Gene and Miley fall into that category. Quite the opposite, in fact.

DEAR ABBY: Sometimes I'll call a close friend or business associate for lunch with the goal of having a quality one-on-one conversation on a wide range of topics. After the lunch is set, more than one of them has then invited other people I know, but with whom I do not have the same quality relationship. It is not a pleasant surprise.

I find it irritating, because it invariably changes the dynamic of the conversation. I never say anything about it, but it bothers me. Is my reaction reasonable, or should I just roll with this? -- THWARTED IN DALLAS

DEAR THWARTED: Your reaction is perfectly reasonable. The first time it happened, you should have shared your feelings with the person who did it. It has happened again because you didn't speak up. Now you will have to warn the person you're inviting in advance.