DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in the Marine Reserves. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will either resign or re-enlist.
He's obsessed with the idea of serving his country and deploying. He says he won't feel like he did his job if he doesn't deploy. While I respect that, for him to deploy, he must re-enlist, and his new contract will be for another six years. He could be sent overseas many times in six years.
I can't imagine life without him. Every time I even watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, because he is very brave, but how can I talk him into not re-enlisting or at least communicate that I don't want him to do this again? -- WANTS HIM STATESIDE
DEAR WANTS: Frankly, I am surprised you haven't told your fiance your feelings about this already, because you should have. While I wouldn't ask him to choose between you and his military service, I do think you have some serious thinking to do about your own future. Being a military spouse requires a special kind of strong, independent and dedicated person -- as you have already experienced. While you may love him, if this isn't a lifestyle to which you can adapt, then he may not be the husband for you.