DEAR ABBY: I just had a big fight with my best friend. Her name is "Alex." There was a lot of cursing.

The argument was about her wanting to be transgender. I didn't agree with it, and she got mad at me. Alex is a tomboy. Today she cut her hair short -- too short for my taste -- and she keeps complaining about how she hates being a girl. She hates her period and is afraid of having breasts. It has started to annoy me. A lot.

Alex and I have been friends since kindergarten, and I'm scared our friendship may end. I don't know if all this sounds childish, but please help. I don't want to lose my best friend. -- VEGAS GIRL

DEAR VEGAS GIRL: If you really want to keep Alex as your best friend, go online and start researching what it means to be transgender. She may hate her female characteristics because she feels trapped in the wrong body.

Being transgender is much more complicated than cutting one's hair and being a tomboy. What's going on with your friend isn't a frivolous decision. Alex is going to need understanding and emotional support during this process, and if you can't stand beside her, you will lose your best friend.

DEAR ABBY: I was raised in the Christian faith by my pastor parents. As I reached my early teens, I realized that those beliefs didn't really fit, and I gradually stopped attending church. I stayed away all through college. My time away only solidified that, in terms of belief, Christianity wasn't for me.

After I graduated this year, I realized I missed the community and ritual of the faith and the church. There are a number of churches in my area, but I feel guilty attending one when I don't believe in the same things as the other members. My family always taught me to be considerate of the beliefs of the people around me, and it seems dishonest to go to a service and listen to prayers my heart doesn't embrace.

I'd still like to attend church. Have you any suggestions for what might be a good course of action? Should I go to church or stay home? -- UNORTHODOX IN OHIO

DEAR UNORTHODOX: You don't have to stay home. Instead, explore a denomination that has no dogma or creed. One in particular, Unitarian Universalism, has been mentioned before in this column.

Unitarian Universalists believe in the dignity and worth of every human being, and encourage and support others in following their personal spiritual paths. If you would like more information, visit www.uua.org.

DEAR ABBY: The mother of a friend recently passed away. I wanted to send a nice plant to the funeral home and was shocked at how much it cost to have a small plant delivered. Is it a "no-no" to buy a beautiful plant and deliver it to the funeral home yourself? -- BUDGET-MINDED

DEAR BUDGET-MINDED: If it's a "no-no," I never heard about it. If having the plant delivered would stretch your budget, by all means take it over before the viewing. It's the thought that counts, and your wish to commemorate the death of your friend's mother is thoughtful and beautiful.

DEAR ABBY: We recently lost our dog, a 13-year-old springer spaniel, to old age. His passing has left a huge hole in our hearts and lives. We miss his companionship, his personality and the structure that caring for him brought to our lives. We're 51 and 60, own our home and are financially secure.

Some of our friends are discouraging us from adopting another dog. They say we travel too much. Last year we spent 12 weeks away from home. When we travel, we hire a trusted pet sitter to move into the house and attend to all our dog's needs. Our pet always seemed happy and healthy when we returned.

I anticipate that we will continue to travel a similar amount in the future, but I'm not sure we will enjoy coming home to a house that has no dog to welcome us back. Abby, should a retired couple who travels adopt a dog? -- PET LOVER IN MEXICO

DEAR PET LOVER: At ages 51 and 60, if you and your husband are in good health, I see no reason why you shouldn't adopt another dog if you wish. Consider adopting one that is no longer a puppy. Shelters and rescue organizations are good places to adopt an older dog that needs a loving home.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor complains of cars honking at 8 in the morning. I have done this only three times when I have taken my son to school. I wait in the car for him, but if he's late by a couple of minutes, I'll honk.

The neighbors think it's rude because they have a 3-year-old who's asleep at that time. Do I confront them? What do you suggest? -- ON A SCHEDULE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ON A SCHEDULE: Knowing it will awaken your neighbor's child, refrain from honking the horn. If you need your son to hurry up, use your cellphone and call the house. Or, turn your engine off, lock the car and go inside and get him.

DEAR ABBY: My friend of 25 years, "Violet," moved back to town a few months ago after living far away for the last 10 years. Whereas we've always called and confided in each other often, now that she's here, I rarely see her, never talk with her and receive polite but curt refusals to do anything together.

I know the move was stressful for her, and I suspect the problem is more about her than me. But I am really hurt, and I miss her. My last request to get together and talk was met with, "I'm only doing what I feel I can enjoy and manage." It seems like that doesn't include our friendship.

Should I simply leave my old friend alone, or is there something you can suggest? -- JUST PLAIN SAD

DEAR SAD: Write Violet a short, sweet note. Tell her that you care about her, have always treasured her friendship and hope it will continue. Let her know that when she feels like talking, you will be there for her. It's really all you can do at this point.

After that, the ball will be in her court and you should NOT sit by the phone waiting for a call. Go on with your life and your other friendships as before. If she responds, terrific. If not, it will be her loss. Do not make it yours.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jimmy," and I have been together for two years. After about four months, out of necessity we moved in together and it was great.

Not long afterward I got a job two hours away. Since I moved, we get to see each other only every two or three weeks. The separation has been tough, but when we're together, everything is perfect and all is right with the world. I feel we were fated to be together.

Before the move, Jimmy and I often talked about marriage, and although I am not crazy about it, I knew it meant a lot to him, so I proposed (ring and all). He initially said yes, then sort of asked me to take back my proposal. Since then, he has been avoiding all discussions about our future, and I don't know what to do.

I'm willing to quit my job and go back to be with him, but I'm scared he's going to get cold feet. Obviously, I'm hopelessly in love with him, but now I'm feeling lost and confused. -- HOURS APART IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HOURS APART: Please allow me to offer some clarity. Do not quit your job because if you do, you may find yourself not only without a job but also without a place to stay.

When someone (man or woman) asks that a proposal be rescinded, it usually means the person feels he or she may have jumped the gun by saying yes. Jimmy is avoiding all discussion about your future because he doesn't want one, and he's afraid to say it directly because he knows it will hurt your feelings.

For your own sake, have an honest conversation with him about this. It may be painful, but it will be better than living in limbo the way you are. As the saying goes, "When a door closes, another one opens."

DEAR ABBY: Last Friday was Grandparents' Day at my kids' preschool. My parents attended and were well-behaved for the most part, but then my mother made a faux pas. She asked one of the directors when her baby was due. Well, Abby, the woman isn't pregnant.

When I picked up my kids, I had no idea what had happened. The director was having a conversation with one of the teachers when I walked in, so as usual I smiled and waved as I walked by. I did sense something was off when she didn't respond, but I figured she was preoccupied. When we met my parents for dinner, my mother told me what happened.

I am mortified. I managed to make it out of the preschool this morning without crossing paths with the director, but I'll be seeing this woman for the next couple of years. What, if anything, do I say to her? -- HORRIFIED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HORRIFIED: You did nothing wrong, so stop avoiding the woman and behave as you usually do. IF you notice that she treats you differently, all you should say is: "I heard what happened with my mother, and I'd like to apologize for her behavior. As you can see, she sometimes puts her foot in her mouth, but we love her anyway."