DEAR ABBY: All children are beautiful to their parents. My three children are of mixed race and get a lot of attention because of it. The boys are aloof about random compliments they receive from strangers. However, I'm worried about the pressure it may put on my daughter to be "pretty."

I care more about my daughter's character than her looks, but I'm concerned that if I say that to these people, it will come off as rude. Also, I don't want her to think I don't think she's pretty. How can I respond in a way that isn't rude to well-intentioned strangers, but at the same time allows me to make a statement about the importance of character over beauty? -- MOM OF BEAUTIES

DEAR MOM: When someone exclaims that your child is beautiful, accept the compliment and say something like this: "Yes, my child IS beautiful, but more important, she is beautiful on the inside." It will reinforce the message to your daughter that character is equally, if not more important, than physical beauty.

DEAR ABBY: Isn't the rule of etiquette that when a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient? My mother sends gifts to our infant daughter. She is the first grandbaby, and my mother is a doting grandparent. My question is what should happen when my child outgrows the items -- clothing, shoes, toys, etc. My mother expects me to put them all in a storage bin and return them to her.

There have been times when I have packed up things to give to friends who have younger daughters than ours, or taken them to a resale shop. My mother then becomes upset that I'm not returning the items to her. She is saving them for my sister, who isn't even pregnant yet.

While I have no issue with saving some things for a potential niece, my friends need these things NOW, and I feel strange essentially being obligated to return them. Is my mom out of line? It's off-putting to receive a gift that comes with a return clause. -- CONFUSED IN CENTRAL TEXAS

DEAR CONFUSED: It appears your mother is not only a doting grandma, but also someone who is determined to get a double bang for her buck. Once given, a gift DOES belong to the recipient. Otherwise, it's not a gift but a loan.

And yes, however well-intentioned your mother may be, she is out of line to demand that everything she has given be returned to her. (I mean, what will she do if your sister has only boys?)

DEAR ABBY: When I'm dining out, sometimes the flatware is wrapped and banded in a large paper napkin. Do I use this napkin for cleaning myself, or do I ask for more napkins? -- UNSURE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR UNSURE: Place the napkin in your lap, and if you would like to have more, do not hesitate to ask your server. It is not a breach of etiquette to do so.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old college student. I have never dated anyone besides my current boyfriend, "Cody." He's my first-ever boyfriend. I met him in high school, but we ran into each other in college and quickly began a relationship. We're now into our third year together.

We have professed our love for each other. He never said "I love you" to any of his past girlfriends, and I'm happy he said it to me.

My concern is that we talk like we'll be together forever. I think I'd be happy, but should I worry that I'll never know if there may be other guys I feel a stronger connection to? Or if I have enough experience to know what love is? -- JUST THINKING IN FLORIDA

DEAR JUST THINKING: If you're writing to me, you ARE worrying. While for many couples their first love is also their last one, for many others it isn't, which may be why there are so many exes in this world.

My advice is to tell Cody that while you care for him, you feel it would be better for both of you to take a break and see other people. In some cases, it can cement a relationship. In others, it can destroy it. Going that route can be risky, but if either partner is having any doubts, that's the road to take.

DEAR ABBY: My father died last month. He'd had a massive stroke and was incapacitated for the last 10 days of his life and was on life support.

After I arrived at the hospital, I received a call from a woman who informed me that she is my half-sister. It was upsetting, to say the least. Not only was I losing my father, but I never thought he could keep a secret of this magnitude from me. Because I was angry, I wasn't friendly toward her.

Should I initiate a relationship with this woman? I'm 38. My siblings and I were born during my parents' marriage. This woman's mother is someone he had an affair with before, during and after his marriage. I have mixed emotions because I feel loyal to my mother, and I'm devastated by my father's deception regarding this child. -- UPSET IN GEORGIA

DEAR UPSET: I doubt your mother will welcome this person's presence in her life, so at least for now, I think reaching out would be a mistake. Your mother might perceive it as almost as much of a betrayal as your father's was with his girlfriend. Before going further, the question you need to ask yourself is, "Would the benefit outweigh the cost?" Until you can answer that, my advice is to do nothing.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, a single parent, has a 27-year-old son who has assaulted her several times. He has never worked and has been in trouble with the law because of drugs. Recently, she called me to ask if she and her son could spend the night with me. (They live 160 miles away.) I told her that because of his past behavior it wasn't a good idea.

She was very offended and said I would "never see her son again." After sending me several hurtful emails, she's no longer speaking to me, despite the fact that I have always taken care of her and listened to her problems about her son.

I deserve an apology -- which I won't receive. But I feel bad about the situation. How do I fix it without apologizing myself? -- DAD WITH A DILEMMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR DAD: Because you know an apology from your daughter won't be forthcoming, don't expect one. Considering the fact that your grandson has a tendency to be violent, I don't blame you for not wanting him in your home. So stand pat. Your daughter will start talking to you again as soon as she needs something from you. Of that, I am sure.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher who occasionally must conduct parent-teacher conferences through a translator. My colleague and I are wondering, what is the proper protocol for these conversations? We are not sure whether to make eye contact with the translator or the parent when talking and listening. Thank you for your help. -- AN INTERNATIONAL EDUCATOR

DEAR EDUCATOR: It is important to make eye contact with the person with whom you are communicating. When you are being given a translation, it's all right to make eye contact with the translator. However, when asking a question or directing a comment to the parent, you should look the parent in the eye.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Mac," and I come from two different worlds. I am from Europe, but have been living in the U.S. for 15 years. I have many friends, male and female, and I make a point of staying in touch with them.

Mac is Native American and believes that in a relationship, your partner should be the only opposite-sex person you spend time with. He doesn't want me to be in touch with any of my male friends -- no lunch meetings to catch up, and no occasional email, text or call to check in. These are all platonic relationships with guys who share a similar interest. Most of them have wives or girlfriends I get along with well.

Mac thinks his manhood is insulted because he should be enough for me. He was cheated on in the past. I never have been, so I can't relate. Am I being unfair, rude or insensitive by wanting to keep my friends? -- FRIENDLY FEMALE IN NEVADA

DEAR FRIENDLY FEMALE: Not at all. But you must recognize that your boyfriend has some deep-seated insecurities, and until he is willing to work on them, he will continue trying to control those with whom you keep in contact.

You are correct that the two of you come from two different worlds, and I'm not talking about geography. If this is what you are willing to tolerate in the long run, continue your romance with Mac. If not, then it's time for you to make the choice to end it.