DEAR ABBY: Every year around the holidays, well-intentioned strangers wish me and my family "Merry Christmas!" Even though we are Jewish, I have always regarded it to be a kind gesture to spread good cheer. I smile and return the greeting.

My children have asked me why I don't tell people we're Jewish and that we don't celebrate Christmas. I don't feel I need to educate strangers when they're just trying to be friendly, but my kids don't agree. We've had several discussions about being friendly and polite, but still they ask if being Jewish is something to keep secret or be embarrassed about.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I do want to give my kids the message that we are proud of who we are. How do you recommend I handle this situation, because it happens a lot? -- JILL IN SANTA ROSA, CALIF.

DEAR JILL: Explain to your children that you return the greeting to be polite, not because you feel being Jewish is anything to be ashamed of. The strangers who do this are saying something nice, and you are returning the greeting.

However, the response to people to whom you are closer and with whom there will be a deeper relationship should be different. To them, your children should explain that they are Jewish and that you celebrate Hanukkah rather than Christmas. When you're with them, if they feel the need to assert their Jewish identity, they should go right ahead and do it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 16 years. Last year I found out he was married before I met him and still is married to her. He never told me he was married when I met him -- or at all. If he had, we wouldn't be together.

His wife got ahold of me on Facebook because she was looking for him. I was in disbelief. We almost got married in 2007, which would have been bigamy. I have stayed with him for the sake of our kids, but I'm miserable.

I recently reconnected with a male friend from high school. We have been talking, but not romantically. He knows my situation. The problem is, he said that he had a crush on me back in school and still does. I have feelings for him, too -- more than just friendship. What do I do? -- EMOTIONALLY LOST IN MARYLAND

DEAR LOST: I can only imagine the extent to which your trust has been shaken. What you need to do right now is recognize how vulnerable you are feeling. What you shouldn't do is rebound from one relationship into another.

Because you are no longer happy with your boyfriend, consult an attorney to ensure your children's father lives up to his financial obligations to them. If you don't have a job, start looking for one to supplement the child support income.

Once you have established economic independence, you will be in a better position to judge whether or not your old high school friend is your knight in shining armor.

DEAR ABBY: Every year my husband and I throw a formal holiday party. We invite a small group of our closest friends, and everyone always has a wonderful time. Over the years we have grown apart from some of these couples.

This year as we were starting to plan, my husband asked if we could trim the guest list. There is one couple in particular we rarely see. They have fallen out of favor with some of the other guests, too.

We've done this party for many years with the same group. When we see this couple, they talk excitedly about it with anticipation. I feel uneasy about how to politely exclude them. The event is mentioned on social media, and I know they'll find out if we uninvite them.

I'm a peacekeeper. I don't like hurting others, especially this couple, who have a tendency to spout off when they feel someone has offended them. Any suggestions? -- PARTY PERSON IN THE WEST

DEAR PARTY PERSON: The next time this couple -- or any of the other couples you no longer want to invite -- raises the subject of your party, tell them that you and your husband need to trim the guest list and they should make other plans for the holidays. Do not apologize for it and don't make excuses. If any of the invited guests ask you why the others weren't included, explain that you need to limit the invites to those friends you see on a regular basis.

DEAR ABBY: I have a mother-in-law-to-be problem, but not the usual one. She doesn't hate me -- in fact, she loves me. She invites me to wine tastings and lunches, lets me drive her sports car, and brings me gifts when she comes to visit.

The problem is, she's nasty to my fiance, so much so that if he ever decided not to speak to her again, I'd stand by him. It hasn't come to that, so I'm stuck sitting silently at dinner while she berates him.

I don't want her to dislike me (especially with the wedding planning coming up), but I really don't like the disrespectful way she mistreats my fiance. What should I do? -- DAUGHTER SHE NEVER HAD

DEAR DAUGHTER: Recognize that this unhealthy dynamic has likely been the status quo since your fiance was a boy, which is why he accepts her verbal abuse. However, after your honeymoon, tell your new husband how upsetting it has been for you to listen to his mother berate him. Suggest that he talk to a licensed therapist to understand why he tolerates it. After that, family counseling may be in order if his mother is willing. If not, spare yourself the pain and see less of her.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: The eight days of Hanukkah begin at sundown. (I can't believe how early it has fallen this year.) Happy Hanukkah, everyone! A joyous Festival of Lights to all of us!

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and my old friend from grammar school is getting married next month. I just received a wedding invitation in the mail. However, my mother does not approve of her getting married at such a young age (she's 18) and has forbidden me to go or even talk to her.

I haven't seen this friend in more than two years because she moved away and has only recently returned. I want to attend her wedding. How can I go about convincing my mom to let me go? -- INVITED IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR INVITED: At 18, the bride-to-be is an adult, and while marriage at such a young age isn't advisable for many reasons, there's nothing immoral about it.

I'm sorry you didn't mention what might have happened in your friend's life in the last two years, because it may be the reason your mother is worried about your associating with her. Your mom may want to protect you, but she's going about it in the wrong way. You could learn a lot about life by simply observing what happens to your friend after she has reached the altar.

DEAR ABBY: My brother, my only sibling, hasn't contacted me in 14 years. I have tried to figure out why. I wasn't mean to him, and we didn't fight. My cousin told me it's because I called him incessantly years ago. I don't recall having done such a thing.

I really miss and care about him. I live in a group home and wonder if he's ashamed of me. He has accomplished more job-wise than I have.

I want to move on with my life, but I continue to fixate on why he seems to hate me. I could use your opinion. What advice do you have for me? -- HIS SISTER IN MARYLAND

DEAR SISTER: What a sad situation. Not knowing your brother, I can't guess his reason for distancing himself. That's why I'm advising you to write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, that you miss and care about him and would like to know why he hasn't contacted you during all this time.

He may or may not respond. But if he doesn't, please understand that his silence has less to do with you or your living situation than it does about him and his inability to empathize. You have every right to live your life as fully and enjoyably as possible, and whatever happens, I hope you will do that.

DEAR ABBY: I was out this morning for my daily run (facing toward traffic) and a very long funeral procession drove by on the other side of the road. The cars pulled over to the curb to let it pass. I continued to run, but now I feel guilty. Should I have stopped for the procession? -- UNSURE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR UNSURE: No rule of etiquette requires it. However, it would have been a gesture of respect and sympathy to have stopped running (and removed your cap if you were wearing one) until the procession had passed by.